Missing Him
by SilverTwenty
Summary: Don't know how to summarise so I'll give basic info. Established Sinn relationship but they haven't had full on sex yet. Rated M for later, Sam never left & any new characters from season 3 aren't in it at the moment  may be later if I find a way .
1. Chapter 1

**OK Second Ever Fic :).**

**It is a Sinn fic even though there isn't really much in this chapter. Sam has gone missing and nobody knows where he is. Established Sinn relationship but they've never had sex, Samcedes never happened unfortunetly. **

**This chapter has a lot of Santana in it and originally this chapter was going to go a lot further into the story than this as I had like 5 chapters planned but now it looks like it is going to be a lot longer than that.**

**Rated M for later chapters, it may get quite dark I haven't written it yet so who knows. I would like ALL feedback, any mistakes, grammar and spelling. If its confusing do tell. Any advice is more than welcome. If there are any words which aren't American or known in America then please tell as I want to keep it true to the origins.**

**Pairings: Sinn and Brittana both mentioned a lot.**

**Friendships: Finntana and Samtana are the main two in this chapter but also friendships between Sinn and Mercedes, Kurt, Rachel, Blaine and Quinn are all mentioned even if only breifly.**

**I don't own Glee. (Not sure if its necessary but I see others do so I feel I must.)**

**Missing Him**

Finn woke Monday morning with a sad yet happy feeling. This confused him slightly because he never understood how you can feel two things at once but he knew why he was at that moment. It was the first day back after the summer which meant summer was OFFICIALLY over. This saddened Finn because he'd had the best summer ever. As he was getting in the shower he remembered exactly why he'd had such a good summer and that made him remember why he was happy about going back to school. It meant he could see Sam.

The pair had gotten extremely close over the summer. After Nationals and the whole epic kiss on stage fiasco (OK yes he had no idea what that word meant but Kurt said it the other day and he liked the sound of it) things with Rachel never really hit off, they'd had their heart to heart in the library and then the next day Rachel just said she didn't want anything to be romantic between them, that they should stay friends. Finn accepted this even though it hurt him, Sam had been there for Finn the entire time and their friendship got back to where it had been before the whole Quinn thing.

He'd felt things for Sam back then as well, Finn may not have realised at the time what these feelings were but now was a different matter. A week into the summer and Finn and Sam were hooking up. Nothing too sexual mind, they would never get passed making out and grinding. Anyway, they had basically spent the summer together as boyfriends. A few people knew about them. Kurt and Blaine for example had walked in on the pair on the couch during one of their many make-out sessions. While Santana had confronted them at a party she'd organised saying that sexual tension between them was so ridiculous that she's surprised that the whole god damn world hasn't realised that Trouty Mouth was getting it on with the mini skyscraper. After Santana and Kurt both knew it slowly spread and now Mercedes, Rachel and Quinn all knew. Finn presumed Brittany did as well as her and Santana were as obvious as Sam and he were apparently.

The thing was Sam's parents weren't exactly happy about having a gay son. Living in a motel room gave Sam zero privacy, Finn had no idea how the dude dealt with that. It meant that the one and only time Finn had actually kissed Sam outside the motel they were caught by a very fuming Mr Evans. He seemed mega pissed which scared the crap out of Finn; he'd been scared when Burt went all protective father about the whole fag comment thing but this was a whole other level. Mr Evans look as red as Sam's letterman jacket and quite literally grabbed Sam and dragged him into their motel room.

Finn had not heard anything from Sam since, it'd been a week and a half since that had happened and he'd left zillions of messages and had text him so many times he'd spent his entire allowance on his phone bill in just a week. Finn was worried at first but Santana had just told him to relax, "The Biebs is probably just been grounded or something, it's cool don't worry your Frankenteen head".

She'd become a bit off a support system for the two of them, with her wanting to be with Brittany she seemed to understand our situation and was being nice to us. Well nice for Santana anyways, plus she genuinely cared for Sam. She'd told Finn that she felt awful for not even dumping Sam when she got with Karofsky (although if Finn told a soul she said she'd go all Lima Heights and literally rip his balls off so nobody knew this but him).

* * *

><p>So here Finn was Monday morning, making sure he wore the top Sam brought for him out of his pay cheque from Papa John's Pizza. He even tried doing something with his hair, not too much prevail mind as Finn could never get his hair too look how he wanted it but he guessed that was a good thing seeing as Sam thought his hair was amazing. When Sam had said that it'd made Finn sort of glow inside, not because of the compliment but because it was Sam saying it.<p>

When Finn arrived at school he soon realised he had actually arrived slightly later than he expected, damn why can't he read a clock with hands he's in his senior year not a 6 year old. Rushing inside Finn spent as much time as he could looking out for Sam's blonde head between all the many people walking through the halls. See Santana there is an advantage to being Frankenteen. However, Finn would have to wait until later to see Sam as the bell rang for first period and he didn't have any lessons with him until Glee after school as their lunches would be at different times.

The problem was Sam wasn't at Glee either. Not many people seemed to notice, too caught up in each other or the first day back feeling. The fact Sam wasn't at school concerned Finn, he hadn't heard a word from his boyfriend in well over a week. Surely Sam's dad wouldn't let him miss school just because he was mad that he caught his son kissing his best friend.

The whole thing continued for another two days. Finn was really starting to panic now; Sam had missed the first three days of school and still wouldn't answer his phone or reply to his texts. At first Finn wondered if Sam was being forced to deliberately avoid him so he tried phoning him using Mercedes phone but still no luck. The other glee clubbers were also starting to worry as well and Mr Schue even phoned up Sam's parents only to get no response.

"Finn, I'm sure he is fine." It was the next Monday and Kurt tried to comfort Finn but his face said something different to what he was saying. The whole glee club were sitting in the choir room, none of them being able to concentrate on singing due to the fact Sam was missing. Finn had told them about how he hadn't heard from him in what was now two weeks and a half. This made them all worry even more.

Finn himself hadn't been sleeping; he wanted to talk to Sam. He missed him so much that he couldn't function properly. He'd spend all night tossing and turning trying to think of anything but Sam's beautiful blonde hair and wondering where he might be. He'd then come into school completely tired and fall asleep during lessons. He couldn't eat properly, think and often found himself crying for no apparent reason. Where was Sam? Finn needed him.

It was when Santana saw Finn's vague blank expression while Kurt and Rachel both tried to comfort him that she made her mind up. She decided that she was going to take this great buffoon to Sam's motel room. She'd never tell anyone ever but it got to her that Finn was so depressed about this and she genuinely was worried for Sam. So once glee club had finished Santana grabbed the boys hand and stopped him from leaving.

"Finn, we need to sort this. We're going to Sam's place." Immediately Finn's eyes widened and Santana remembered the reason they hadn't done this last week. "Finn I know your all pussy about it because you think his dad will kill you but seriously you can't continue like this. You need Sam; maybe we can talk him around and let you two see each other. If not I have razors in my hair so I will just cuts him if he don't. Deal."

"Ok deal" Finn's voice sounded hoarse to Santana, more than likely due to the continuous break downs he kept having in the middle of lessons. It was tragic if truth be told; if it didn't look so pitiful when he did it Santana would take the piss out of him for it by saying that even Barbie had bigger balls. "I'm not sure whether Sam would be happy if you killed his dad though, plus I don't want to be arrested I mean if we kill him we'll go to jail and I'll see even less of Sam."

Santana could feel her eyebrows rise, did this kid seriously believe that she'd kill someone. I mean not even she would go that far.

* * *

><p>Finn had wanted to go straight away but Santana couldn't and there was no way she was letting one of her boys go and deal with a raging homophobic father all by himself. So Finn had to wait and when 7pm rolled around he was eagerly sitting outside Santana's house in his car.<p>

It was sweet really how excited and nervous Finn looked at the same time. He obviously really wanted to see Sam but even Santana had to admit she had no idea how this was going to work out.

Finn drove to the motel at record speed, he was more impatient than Santana had realised. She was positive he almost killed an old biddy crossing the road and not to mention he'd braked so hard when they got to the motel car park that the seat belt had dug into her skin.

Cursing in Spanish Santana got out the car. She walked towards the motel room and turned to ask Finn whether he wanted to knock only to find him still sitting in his car. His knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel.

"Finn what in the fuck are you doing?" Opening the door Santana saw Finn was shaking, he really was a wreck. _Jesus._

"I'm scared San." Finn turned his bleary eyes onto Santana and she literally felt like she could just hug him there and then. Fucking Finn making her into someone who cares about her friends, who does he think he is.

"Finn… it'll be fi-"

"What if it's not because of his dad? What if it is because Sam doesn't want to be with me? Sure we've both said we love each other but what if he didn't mean it? What if he hates me and the fact I'm just a big doofus with humungous feet and give him neck pain every time we kiss? What if I am neck pain to him?"

"You mean a pain in the neck."

"Yeah, I can't do this Santana it's stupid I'm going hom-"

"For god sake Finn if you do not get out of this car I am going to grab you by your hair and go all crazy bitch on you and force you to knock on that door! Got it!" Yes she felt bad for getting angry but come one Finn was being annoying and we need to do this. He needs Sam. "Look Finn, Sam loves you and I know you probably don't notice because subtly and being perceptive aren't things that your peanut brain understands. We need to see if he's ok."

With that Finn took a deep breath and got out the car slowly closing the door. Yes, Santana was totally awesome and she knew it.

Slowly the paid walked up to the door. Finn could feel his heart racing; he was going to get to see Sam, his Sam. He couldn't believe how much it hurt to be away from him and his awesome lips, his crazily great eyes and blonde hair. Finn had never felt more nervous; he needed this to go well. He doesn't want to get punched by Mr. Evans for starters, plus if Santana really does get the razors out of her hair god holy knows what could happen.

They were now outside the door, Finn took a deep breath. He couldn't do this, he turned to Santana who just gave him one of his bitch stares that screamed _Do this or I will kill you!_ And slowly and shakily Finn reached his hand up which was now in a fist shape and knocked lightly on the door. The knock was really quite but to Finn sounded like a bomb. He heard Santana tut behind him and could almost feel her rolling her eyes. So Finn knocked again, this time more confidently.

The two stood there for a minute, Finn's heart going at about 3000 mph. He felt like he wanted to be sick, to run away and puke from the nerves. In all honesty though he just wanted his Sam back so he knocked again. Still no reply.

He turned around to look at Santana; she had a concerned look on her face and walked slowly towards the window into the room. Finn saw her reach her hands up above her eyebrows an peer into the room squinting to try and see. Finn waited on bated breath to hear her say something, maybe the Evans are all asleep. It was about 8pm now so it was possible, not likely but possible. Right.

Santana slowly turned to Finn. "I can't see anyone inside, it appears to be empty. There isn't even anyone's stuff in there."

Finn's heart sank; it was as if his world had come crashing down. Sam had left, without even telling him. He was gone, never to be seen again. He thought this summer had meant something that he meant something. That Sam wanted him. How had he been so stupid?

Finn could feel the tears start to leak from his eyes and cursed himself for being such an idiot. He was done, he would never let anyone in again. All it did was lead to heartache and Finn was through with all that. He was going to become a monk or a vicar or whatever it was that wasn't allowed to have sex. He'd live a life in service to god. It was the only option left. Finn was brought out of his own head when he heard someone knocking.

Turning his head he saw Santana knocking on the apartment to the left of the one Sam had lived in.

"What are you doing?" Finn walked to stand on Santana's right.

"Finding what the hell happened to Guppy Lips."

"Don't call him that. He hates that more than Trouty Mouth"

Santana smiled and rolled her eyes dramatically and knocked again on the door. "I know you are in there I saw you move behind the window dipshit."

Finn heard the turn of a lock and chain and the door slowly opened. A man stood there. He was wearing a white wife-beater and shorts, both of which were covered in horrible yellow patches that made Finn feel sick.

"What? What is it? What do you want? I ain't buying!"

"First of all we ain't selling. Second of all learn what a breath mint is!" Finn had to give Santana her respect, she wasn't intimidated by this man even though he was taller, bulkier and more aggressive looking than her she still stood her ground.

"Listen smellasaurus we need information. There was a family living in the room next door to yours. Where are they?"

"Why should I tell you anything? What's in it for me?"

Santana gave the guy a stare that would have given any normal person a heart attack and then pulled out a wad of cash and pulling out a twenty dollar bill. The guy's eyes lit up at the sight of the money and immediately leant forward to grab it but Santana pulled it out of his reach.

"Information first creepfest and then you'll get the money."

"Alright, alright. They moved, now give me the money."

"If you wants this you need to give us more than that."

The guy looked like he may argue at first but he must of needed the money badly because he gave in pretty quickly. "Fine, the family left about 2 weeks ago. They all went the couple and the two littlies. Shame they went I liked having them around. Nice to watch you know."

Finn literally wanted to be sick again, this time from disgust rather than nerves. This freak had got enjoyment out of watching Sam's little brother and sister. How wrong is that?

"What about the other b-boy, the older one." Finn was disappointed to hear his voice crack while he asked, he sounded desperate and the guy could hear it.

"Why? Was he important because if he is then I'll tell you for a little bit extra."

Finn and Santana's heads flicked to each other and there was no way Santana could not get this information no matter how small it was. The look on Finn's face was heart wrenching.

"Fine. Twenty more and you give us the rest."

A huge evil and sickening grin spread across the guy's ugly face. It made Santana want to punch him.

"Good, you want to know about the boy huh? Well he was the reason they moved. Him and his dad had a huge argument. Something about how the kid was a disgrace, personally I don't see how I wouldn't have mind seeing him get his shirt off a few more times. Those images of him getting out of the shower shall be in my wank tank for years."

Santana felt sick again and she could see out of the corner of her eye Finn was getting angry at the idea of this sicko perving on his man. His fists were clenched and his eyes were almost shooting laser at the guy.

"Shut the fuck up about how much you like him and tell us what happened prick stain."

"No need to get snarky now, as I was saying the kid got in an argument with his old man. Got pretty heated from what I could hear. Something about a shark's fin was mentioned for some reason and I'm pretty sure I heard some stuff smash and crying. Anyway the kid got thrown out of the room. They threw a letterman jacket at him and then shut the door telling him if they ever see him again they'd kill him."

Santana glanced at Finn to see how he was coping with this news. It was both good and bad. Good in the sense that Sam didn't leave Lima and that he didn't hate Finn but bad because it meant they had no idea where he was.

"What happened next?" Finn sounded even more desperate than before. His voice had cracked again and it came out as a sob. Santana felt guilty and she had nothing to feel bad about she hadn't done anything. Just seeing Finn like that was horrid and knowing that Sam might be living on the streets or something was awful. Santana did feel responsible she had told Finn it'd be ok and not to worry. How wrong had she been?

"How the fuck do I know I haven't seen the kid since and the family moved out a few days later. Now pay up bitch."

Santana passed the guy the forty dollars and couldn't think straight. Where was Sam?

"Listen, the father dumped all of the kid's stuff out on the curb the next day. I have it all you could see it if you like."

Santana didn't get it. Why was this fucking creepy paedophile being so nice all of a sudden? She was going to say something but bit her tongue when she saw Finn's head shoot up the moment he'd mentioned Sam's stuff.

"I'll take that as a yes." The guy disappeared for a second and came back with two big cardboard boxes in his arms and set them down in the door way standing just behind them.

"Here it is all his stuff, oh and there was this." He grabbed something from behind the door and put Sam's guitar case next to the boxes.

Finn immediately bent down and started looked through them and picked up Sam's favourite jumper. Santana knew it was this because Sam had told her while they dated. Finn picked it up and sniffed it. He smiled into the jumper. Santana knew exactly how Finn felt, Brittany smelt amazing and Santana loved that about her. The idea of these roles being reversed and Brittany being the one missing made Santana realise just how much this was killing the boy.

"Now don't be getting too attached now. I ain't giving this away there boy."

Santana's necked snapped from Finn towards this bastard. He was selling Sam's stuff, it wasn't his too sell.

"This isn't yours though it's Sam's." Finn's voice sounded weak again, not desperate this time just scared.

"Oh, so his name is Sam. Keep that in my memory so I can imagine screaming it in my dreams. I think you'll find this stuff is mine, it was put out for rubbish therefore it is public property for anyone to claim. Like I said I'll sell it to you for a small fee."

Santana laughed. "Small! You'll probably charge double what its worth."

"How much for it all?" Finn had stood up now with a determined look on his face. He was seriously going to buy all this stuff for Sam. There was no way he could afford it and he shouldn't have to pay.

"Well I'll have to keep some stuff. The boxer shorts for example I'm afraid I may have already stained them."

Santana did not expect Finn to punch the guy but he did. What he was saying about Sam's underwear was gross and he deserved the punch. The anger in Finn's faces was actually terrifying, he hadn't even looked this angry after baby gate. It was then that she had an idea. She grabbed the guitar case and swung it just as the dirty creep was turning back towards Finn with a bleeding nose. The case hit him square in the face and sent him to the floor.

"FINN GRAB THE BOXES!"

Finn stood there in shock at first and then slowly realised what was happening as Santana ran back to the car. He bent down and grabbed the boxes running as fast as he could after the Latina teen, and god could she run she was already in the driver's seat (even though it was Finn's car) starting up the engine as Finn threw the boxes into the back seats.

He turned to get into the passenger seat to feel a fist hit him in the side of the face knocking him to the floor. The guy had chased them, probably because he didn't want to lose his profit. Santana saw what was happening and got out the car.

"YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT! THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY THAT EASILY HUH!"

"OI! KIDDIE FIDDLER!"

The guy turned round at Santana's call and she punched him putting all her strength into it. Shocking both Finn and her, the guy fell to the ground unconscious. The two just stood there in shock until they realised they needed to move. Running over to help Finn up Santana then flung open the passenger door and climbed through the car to the driver's seat. Yes, it was Finn's car but a) he was too emotional to drive and b) he seemed dazed by the punch and Santana wanted to live funnily enough.

Putting the car into drive she sped off out of the parking lot and drove as fast as she could away from the motel.

* * *

><p>Neither said a word until Santana came to a stop outside a McDonalds a good few blocks away.<p>

Finn was breathing heavily and it was then that she realised that her heart was beating so fast. She was pumped full of adrenaline and couldn't believe what had just happened. So much for everything possibly going alright.

"That was amazing Santana." Finn was smiling, the first smile she'd seen appear on the boys lips since she'd seen him and Sam out on their date the night they got caught.

"Really? I personally would not want to do that again." Actually she quite would but nobody needed to know that and she didn't really want to know that she found that fun.

"You knocked him out with one punch, that was awesome."

"Well, you know not to brag or anything but I am the biggest bitch this lame town shall _ever_ and I mean _ever_ see."

The two started to laugh and Finn turned round to look at the stuff in the backseat. It then dawned on the pair that Sam's whereabouts was still unknown.

"Santana where is he?" He looked sad again, his eyes were all misty and Santana wondered whether it's what puppies looked like once they'd been kicked.

"I don't know Finn, I really don't know."

He looked down at his lap at that response, he was still holding the jumper. Playing with it in his fingers. She turned around to look at the boxes. She could see some clothes, a few comic books sticking out of the top and a shiny blue case. She leant into the back seats and took it out of the box. It was the director's cut special edition version of Avatar. She smiled to herself at the memory of being forced to watch this and even laughed a little when she remembered Sam trying to teach Finn Na'vi on the double date they had with her and Brittany.

"Nga yawne lu oer."

Finn's head shot up straight away and whispered. "I love you too Sam."

This was unbelievable, Mr Schue couldn't even teach Finn to learn Spanish and here he was responding to the only Na'vi phrase Santana has actually learnt from Sam mainly so she could say it to Brittany and convince her she said it too her in a magical language only for her. Not only that but he called her Sam. Why were Finn Fucking Hudson and Samuel Fucking Evans so good together?

"Finn we will find him. I promise you, we will."

Finn turned his big eye onto her, traces of the half smile he had previous as he said I love you still present. His face turned worry again though and I could tell he wasn't convinced.

"Did Sam have any other family living in Lima or Ohio?"

Finn's face scrunched up and his brows knitted. He pulled his thinking face as Sam has once described it. Santana found it hilarious Sam however just seemed to find it unbelievably adorable.

"No, the only family he has live in Tennessee."

Santana thought for a second. "Is there anyone you can think of that he'd go too?"

Again Finn pulled his thinking face his eyes twitching from left to right as if going through a list. "No, the guys at his work aren't really his friends. Everyone he likes is in glee club plus wouldn't he still have come to school if he was with someone else."

Damn, he's right. Out smarted by an emotional Finn Hudson. What is up with today seriously?

"Ok then Finn. I'm going to text everyone to meet in the choir room at school. I promised Mr Schue I'd phone him after we've found Sam but as we haven't I'm sure he'll be up for what I have planned. As I said Finn we will find him. I swear it. Text your mom and Burt as well. If you and Kurt are both going to be there I'm sure they'd want too as well. I'll also get Mr Schue to bring whoever he can. Trust me Finn, Sam Evans will be back in Gigantor's arms as soon as possible."

She then flashed him a small smile which she hoped looked comforting. He nodded slowly as if trying to convince himself that she was right. He moved his hand over and grabbed hers.

"Thank you, Santana. You're not as bad as everyone says."

Santana shall never admit this if someone asks but yes she did get a kick out of hearing those words. The only other person to say it was Brittany after all and the truth was she did care.

"Stop getting all sentimental Frankenteen. Your man is out there waiting for you, now get texting."

**OK there is chapter 1, loads more planned. Please Review :).**


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is chapter two. Thank you too everyone whose favourited, reviewed or subscribed to story alert. Each of you made my days when I saw you had done so in an email. :)**

**So Sam's still missing etc. etc. Santana has a plan of how to find him. Yes it is a rubbish summary but sorry I suck at them.**

**Pairings: Sinn obviously even though Sam isn't here yet. Fintana, Blainetana, Brittana, Hudmel Family.**

**Santana is a lot of this but its part of the story so sorry if you don't like her. Any mistakes do tell me, any words that aren't american etc. again do say.**

**Once you've read please review, it'd be awesome.**

**I don't think this chapter is as good as the last one and it is shorter but that was mainly due to the fact that I had college and have been busy and have found a short space of time to write, so I did. This is why I finished where I did when originally I planned on continuing in this chapter but I wanted to update so :).**

**Hope you like it.**

Santana and Finn had met Mr Schue outside McKinley. He still had the keys to the building after being a part time janitor, although he told them never to tell anyone about it. Not that Santana would, sure she is a bitch but it's Mr Schue, he gave them his god damn number so if they get too wasted he'll pick them up, how can you be a bitch to someone like that? And as for Finn, well he seemed like he may collapse from emotional torture any second, so the chances of him even remembering are very slim.

So here they were in the choir room. Finn was sitting in the middle of the room on the red office chair because Mr Schue was concerned that he'd pass out. He looked awful; he had massive bags under his eyes which were all red from the continuous sudden burst of tears and was huddled in a ball on the chair. He clutched the sweater to him holding it near his nose to smell the sweet smell of Sam.

Sam's smell was amazing, he smelt of Sam, just simply no way of relating it to a smell as it was so unique and special. Just like he was, he was Finn's favourite person in the whole world, and his smell was something Finn wished could be bottled and sold only to him because it was his smell.

Next to Finn was Santana, she was nervous. This was her idea ok, her plan to get Sam back to where he belonged. This had to work, it all rested on her now. There was simply no way that after tonight Finn will ever have to feel this shit again, never. She is the queen bitch and what she says goes.

Slowly Glee members trickled in, Rachel was the first to arrive and immediately she went up to Finn and went to talk but backed down to Santana's death stare. Sure Rachel can on the _very rare_ occasion be cool, but the last thing that Finnocence needs now is that girl talking his ears off. As Rachel helped Mr Schue with the chairs others arrived. Finn's Mom and step dad came in soon after along with Kurt and Blaine. Blaine went to help with the chairs while the Hudmels each hugged Finn. None of them saying a word, just knowing that Finn needed a little bit of comfort; especially from his mom. He seemed to lean into her touch. It was warming to Santana, she wished her relationship with her parents was as close, it's not bad but Finn and his mom was just something else.

Pretty soon the entire glee club were there as well as Ms Pillsbury, Mr Hummel and Mrs Hummel. Everyone was sitting in their seats, casting concerned glances at the complete wreck that was supposedly Finn Hudson while waiting for Santana to speak. This was it, were people really going to listen to her? I mean she was a bitch to them all, a _major_ bitch to them all in fact. They weren't going to listen it was a fact. She should just go over and tell Mr Schue and let him speak, yeah that's what she'll do. Fuck. Why was she being such a scared little virgin about the whole thing? She was used to talking in front of people, her rants are legendary and she never gives a shit. Why is this making her so nervous? Maybe it's because this is Sam's life in the danger here, she's never felt this much responsibility.

"Urmm… Santana why have you brought us here?"

Puck's question brought Santana out of her train of though. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Fucking hell, stop being stupid this was cool she totally had this just breath girl breath. Finn must have noticed her struggling because the next thing she knew he was holding her hand. She turned to look him at him and stared right in his eyes. That was it, his eyes looked worn out but so lost and hurt it could make you cry. She had to do this, for Finn and for Sam. For them both. Finn's hand gave her the strength she needed, that and the little smile sent to her by Brittany.

"The reason you are here is because of Sam."

"Oh, what's Macaulay done then? Got a spot and too scared to show it?"

Finn shot a look at Lauren after her comment and even though Santana could quite easily go all Lima Heights on Zizes this very second she couldn't. She needed to hold Finn back, the anger from the motel was back in his eyes. It was almost burning. She squeezed his hand and continued talking.

"No wheezy," Ok so not her best come back admittedly, but hey she had more important things to think about. "Sam's in danger, or possible danger. To be honest we're not quite sure."

"What do you mean danger?" Kurt looked straight at Finn while he said that, but Finn just looked straight down. It was as if he couldn't bring himself to look at people properly, he'd only looked in Santana's eyes briefly.

"How do you know? What kind of danger?" Quinn looked slightly confused but concerned nonetheless. In fact they all looked concerned, even Lauren seemed to look guilty at her comment earlier.

"Finn and I went to his motel. He wasn't there, his family had gone. So I asked the guy living in the room next to them. Turns out Sam's been thrown out due to some..." Shit how was she going to explain this, only half the club knew about Finn and Sam. Not to mention Mr and Mrs Hummel had no idea as far as she knew. She wasn't going to out them. "Argument he had with his dad about something with someone."

Ok yes it was vague but the ones that needed to know why knew. Kurt and Mercedes both shot shocked looks towards Finn, Rachel looked like she may be sick and Blaine and Quinn both seemed to have anger raging through them. This was good, they didn't seem to be blaming Finn, he'd need to know this. Santana isn't all brains like Captain McCripple but she is smart and can tell things that others can't. Like her awesome gaydar, and with Finn she just knew he was blaming himself. He seemed trapped within himself and looked like he was trying to make himself small. Which is ridiculous as the guys a giant, it was pitiful and just made Santana's heart ache. God why could he do this too her, the sooner Lips got back the better Santana can get back to not having feelings.

"There's more, isn't there?" Blaine's eyes were on Santana, yes there was more but she could tell him that later. Kurt was going to want to know the full story anyway so Blaine should know too.

"Yes, but I'm not getting into details now. The point is that Sam got kicked out and he didn't go to any of us."

"Yeah, why is that? I mean he can trust us." Damn you Puck, these interruptions need to stop otherwise they'll be here for ages. It's already 9:30.

"I don't know do I. As I was saying, Sam's missing and he has no one else to go to other than us. And unless one of you is being a complete douche and not telling us he's staying at yours it means he's been living on the streets for two and a half weeks."

She was pretty sure she heard a whimper at that, Finn was crying. She wasn't the only one who noticed his mom was already walking up to him and embracing him in the only way a mother could. This was obviously seen by the entire club and Artie, Tina and Mike all seemed slightly confused by Finn's sudden emotions. Yes, Sam was Finn's best friend to them but he was also their friend as well and no one else was crying. Time to get the attention away from them.

"I have a plan. Sam's been missing for a long time but the chances are he is still in Lima. We need to go look for him… now!"

"What, right now? But it's already late, how are we going to find him." For fuck sake Mike, stop voicing concerns that have already passed through her mind many times over the last hour.

"Yes, now. We have no choice. Sam needs us and we have to find him. With all of us we can find him, I'm sure of it. Yes it's late and it is probably dangerous out there but we have to find him. I've been thinking about it and as long as everyone is in pairs it should be fine. There are also an odd number of us, so maybe three of us could drive around doing sweeps of areas trying to keep watch and see if they can spot him. Also that way if anyone gets in danger they can phone one of them and they'll be there quicker than those walking."

Many of the group considered this and were agreeing. Finn had listened eager to Santana's speech, his eyes lit up slightly at the idea of finally doing something to find his man.

"It's Santana right?"

Kurt's dad had stood up and had walked next to Mrs Hummel. He was now looking at Santana, it was the first time he'd ever really met her so she wasn't surprised he wasn't sure on her name. She nodded in response.

"Well it is a good plan, and I know it's necessary that you kids looks around too as we need the man power. But I don't think any girl should be walking out on the streets without a guy there."

"Isn't that slightly sexist?" Quinn had her 'I'm a feminist' look on that they all knew so well.

"Yes, maybe. But the fact is even though you girls can hold your own," his eyes flicked to Lauren and then at Santana again. Kurt must have told him about her then; she just hoped it wasn't all bad, "it is dangerous out there and girls are a lot more likely to be taken advantage of than guys. I think all girls should have a guy with them and that way they can both look out for each other."

Quinn seemed satisfied with that answer and her features softened back into worry. An expression now etched on all faces.

"I agree with Burt. But I also think that everyone should have a flash light, that way the can see where they are going and no one turns their mobiles off, ever. If you need anyone just phone the first number you can think of or text someone. I think we should all text just one person who can be a sort of hub." Mr Schue said all this while getting out a box of flash lights, they had meant to use them in a number and then to usher people to their seats in the dark auditorium for their production of Rocky Horror and their Night of Neglect. This was obviously the first time they were being used.

"I also everyone should have pepper spray. I have a huge supply in my office I'll just go get them." Ms Pillsbury was already running towards her office as she was finishing her sentence. Why she had pepper spray god only knows, but the fact was Tango was right. They needed protecting.

"Ok then so how are we going to decide the pairs?"

This took a little bit of time. Mr Hummel refused to let Kurt roam the streets, which admittedly was a little hypocritical as he was letting the rest of us but whatever, so Kurt was one of the drivers along with Mrs Hummel and Artie who had phoned his dad and was going to be driving around with him. Then it was time to choose the pairs. Santana could stop thinking about Brittany, she couldn't let her get hurt, there was no way. It was as she was staring at her that Blaine came up to her.

"Look San, I know you're concerned about Britt but I'll go with her. She'll be fine; I'll protect her with my life."

"You better had Oxford."

"I'm not British."

"Not the point."

The two shared a brief hug as the final groups were sorted. Tina and Mercedes was with Mike, Puck with Lauren, Mr Schue with Ms Pillsbury and Mr Hummel with Quinn and Rachel. This left Finn with Santana. This had been decided by everyone to be the best thing; Finn only seemed to respond to Santana and his mom. He was in a total world of his own.

Finn could tell people were starting to get ready to leave, he had no idea who his partner was but he didn't care. He was going to find Sam if it killed him. He was not going to eat, to sleep, to even think about anything but his Sammy until his boy was safe in his arms.

He missed him so much and he couldn't even bring himself to think about what was happening or had happened to him. Maybe he was being used by some drug dealer? What if he was being beaten up so badly he couldn't even walk? Was he starving? What if he was dead? Dead. Finn couldn't even think the word, because if it was true it'd be his fault. If only he'd gone to the motel sooner, he'd have been able to tell everyone quicker like at least a week ago and Sam would already be back. If only he'd not been stupid and kissed Sam right outside his room. He'd said they couldn't because his parents would flip. But no Finn was thinking about how fucking awesome his lips were, all wet and beautiful from where they'd just kissed in Finn's car. So he did it, he attacked his lips so forcefully that Sam had backed into the window with a loud thump and his dad had come out and lost it. Damn Finn, why are you such a fricking dumbass.

He felt a hand clasp around his and someone was crouching in front of him. It was Santana; she looked concerned and slightly guilty. Finn understood why, she had told him not to worry about it last week, that nothing would happen. But Finn didn't have to listen, if he cared that must about his boyfriend he'd have gone to see him anyway, right? He wouldn't have just left either to let Sam deal on his own. Plus, she was righting her wrong now. She had organized everyone, brought us all together to save Sam. She was being amazing, totally not the self-centred bitch everyone knew. She was being a friend, a best friend.

"Finn, you're with me. We shall find Sam and you can hug him until you both fucking keel over from lack of oxygen. This is the night you get your man back."

This did inspire Finn, he was getting him back. He could smell him again, touch him again, see his gorgeous smile. Santana stood up and reached out a hand to help Finn out of the chair. He got up still clutching the sweater in his hand. They each took a pepper spray and a flash light and headed out. They been designated the area around Wayne Street. This was were a lot of homeless stayed and was close to the motel. Admittedly it wasn't the only area where seeing tramps was likely there were many but this was the one Sam was most likely to go to. Finn knew this and silently prayed that they find him. They had to, they just _had_ to.

**OK there you go chapter deux is done. Please review and tell me of any advice or mistakes, I'll try and update ASAP. My next chapter will hopefully be longer but if you don't see any updates for ages its not because I've given up on this its because I haven't found the time to write it or I'm half way through it :). Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here is chapter 3. I wrote this quite quick so sorry for any mistakes. Please point them out for me. Again any words that aren't american do say so.**

**Any inconsistancies like who texts who or w.e. do tell as I'm not sure if I did it all correct.**

**There are many pairings in this and I can't be bothered to list them as it is late and I'm tired. Obviously main pairing is Sinn.**

**OK so the search is on. This chapter has POV of Carole, Burt, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Santana, Blaine, Puck, Artie and Will.**

**Hope you enjoy it.**

**Missing Him**

It was dark, really dark. The street lights were on but you know what they're like they cast an eerie glow over most places and leave lots of dark areas. This wasn't good, there are peoples children out there trying to find a boy whose been missing for over two weeks. Why hadn't someone gone looking earlier? By the looks of it that's what is affecting Finn at the moment. Sure he was a more emotional wreck than what would be expected. He was her son, and she knew there was more too it. Sam was very important to Finn; more than a best friend. Carole knew this, they were more like brothers. Maybe more, she didn't want to ask Finn about it because she knew he'd deny it. It was for him to tell her.

She was worried, extremely worried. Sam had spent so much time at the Hudmels house that she knew him very well. He was a good kid, a nice kid. Why he was on the streets at this moment in time she didn't know, Santana had said something about his dad kicking him out, but why? She'd said something about it being because of an argument about something with someone. She was obviously keeping a lot of information to herself, protecting someone maybe? Wait, was she protecting Finn?

Two and a half weeks ago Finn had come back from hanging out with Sam someplace, she wish she knew where but half the time he just told her he was going to hang out with Sam and she'd accept it. He looked upset, not crying and in hysterics like tonight, just troubled. He didn't talk to anyone when he got home; he just sort of blanked everyone and had gone to bed. She was his mom so obviously she went up to his room and try to get him to talk but he wouldn't, he pretended to sleep (Yes, she knew the difference between his fake and real snores, she isn't silly). That was his way of telling her she didn't need to know, she respected that and always will. She knew in the end Finn would come to her, eventually.

They needed to find Sam, he could be hurt. These kids were scared for him but Carole knew the dangers out there, he's been gone for a while. Has he been eating? Where's he been sleeping? There are rough people out there, they could do stuff to him. The fact is she knows there is a high chance he is dead. The thought was horrendous; Sam didn't deserve to die no matter what he done. He was an amazing kid and Finn would be so destroyed by the grief.

Carole turned a left into another street; she'd been circling the same few estates for the last three hours. She passed some of the kids, not Finn though he was in another part of Lima. She hoped he be ok, he sort of drew attention to himself because of his abnormal height that she is 100% sure wasn't inherited from her. He'd be fine though, he was tough when he needed to be. Plus he seemed emotional and when Finn's emotional she suggests anyone who isn't close to him should steer clear. He'll be fine, he can look after himself and Santana can pack a punch from what she'd been told.

Her phone suddenly started vibrating as she turned around the corner and was driving down a new street slowly passing Tina and Mike. Pulling up along the curb she answered her phone. She listened carefully to the person on the other end. She dropped her phone once they'd finished and quickly opened her passenger door as the two Asians and Mercedes walked past.

"Get in!"

"Why? We're supposed to be looking for Sam, if Tina, Mike and I are on the streets we'll get more covered than if we're all in the car. I'm not letting my boy stay out there Mrs Hummel."

"They've found him."

* * *

><p>Mercedes was scared, she admitted it. It was already 1am and it was freezing. Tina was shivering as was Mike who'd forced Tina to wear his letterman jacket. Doesn't chivalry make you sick? They'd been circling the same streets for hours. They had walked down alleys, side streets, little alcoves and dead-ends. Sam was nowhere to be seen.<p>

She was nervous, Sam needed to be found. Finn needed his blonde baby back and Mercedes wanted to see the pair happy again. She and Sam had become good friends over the summer. While Finn and Kurt did their family stuff when the pair were round they'd often sit there talking until the two boys had either finished arguing or talking. Normally arguing it must be said, usually over what Finn was wearing.

Sam was sweet, he was kind and humble. Yes, he was a bit of a dork but truth be told everyone is. Even she admitted that through all her divaness she did like Avatar and did have a mini obsession with playing video games. Kurt didn't know this though, and if he did she wouldn't care as she knew he actually stole Finn's comics and just kept them under his bed when he wasn't reading them. Mercedes hadn't told Finn that Kurt did this mainly because Finn would get all confused about where he put his comics and it was incredibly funny to watch not to meant Sam found it cute, so she was just doing it for him.

The other two didn't know about Sam and Finn but it was obvious they knew something more was going on. Finn had been a wreck the last week at school, and as for tonight well he looked damn right scary. The boy looked like he was all sorts of crazy. They needed Sam back before she was screaming "Hell To The No!" when Finn tried to end it. The unfortunate thing was they hadn't had even a sign off Sam. They had quite a quiet area if truth be told. The only thing that had happened so far was a cat had been hiding in a dark corner of an alley and Mike went to investigate only to have the willies scared out of him. This had gotten the traditional eye roll glances to each other from Tina and Mercedes.

"So 'Cedes whats up with Finn and Sam?" Tina seemed to find it awkward asking, well of course she would she was being damn right nosy. Although, Mercedes would be even worse if the roles were reversed.

"Nothing, Finn's just missing his best friend. Why?"

"Oh come on Mercedes don't try that one. Tina and I aren't stupid."

"I know you aren't, you can't be you're Asian."

"Not funny," Tina rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. "Look Finn was awful back there. If he was a horse he'd been put down. Are Sam and Finn, you know?"

"What?"

"Together."

OH SNAP!

"WHAT? YOU CRAZY GIRL! You've been eating too many skittles or something."

"Mercedes! You don't have to lie to us, we care about the two of them. If they're in a relationship we'll be happy for them. They're on my football team and I class them as close friends. Why would either of us care?"

She looked at the pair for a second, yes they wouldn't care. But the fact was it was Finn and Sam's choice to tell people.

"Look Finn and Sam are just really close ok. Nothing more I swear. We need to find Sam so just drop it and we can get back to finding him."

Tina sighed and seemed to want to continue talking about it but didn't. She knew Mercedes was lying but she couldn't prove it so she had no choice but to accept what she had said. It was at that moment that Mrs Hummel drove past pulling to a stop not far ahead.

"Hey, do you think we should ask whether she has any news?"

"Sure."

"Get in!" The three looked at each other. Why? Sam's still missing being all in one car won't help the search.

"Why? We're supposed to be looking for Sam, if Tina, Mike and I are on the streets we'll get more covered than if we're all in the car. I'm not letting my boy stay out there Mrs Hummel."

"They've found him." Mercedes felt her eyes widen. Thank the Lord.

* * *

><p>Damn dad. Kurt wanted to be out on the streets looking properly. He could hold his own, no dirty mittens are ever, and he means EVER going to touch any of his clothes. If any do the let Alexander McQueen have mercy on your soul!<p>

This area wasn't great; Kurt hoped Sam wasn't around here. Yes, he wanted to find him but if Sam was here then god knows what happened to him. Finn's dealt with enough, it took him a while to fully accept his love for Sam. I mean he must have been so confused. It was hard for Kurt but he's always known who he is but Finn he likes both. That must confuse the crap out of someone. Society makes us believe we must be straight generally. But if you are both straight and gay then where does it leave you.

Sam didn't deserve what was happening to him. His dad was awful. Ok so maybe Finn shouldn't have snogged the boy's face off outside his motel room but still did Sam's dad have to go completely ape. He just hoped Sam didn't get hurt, he'd met his dad he was a big guy. He imagined he could swing a punch. More violence and misery that Sam didn't deserve.

Finn needed Sam; Kurt knew that before this of course. But tonight really showed him just how much. The tall jock needed his slightly shorter lip god to function. He literally can't function without him. He hasn't been eating, sleeping or even talking. It was a sad sight to see, it was as if without Sam, Finn slowly fades away. Wow can he be melodramatic at times. He should totally write a romance novel.

He gets it though. Kurt thinks he'd be the same if Blaine wasn't there. Well, he hopes he would be anyway, maybe not as obviously as Finn. Kurt prided himself on being able to put on a brave face but still he'd like to think he was risk his life for Blaine.

Kurt's phone started ringing and he put it on speaker phone.

* * *

><p>Puck didn't like this. Yes, he was badass. In fact he was the biggest fucking badass going with the biggest badass girl. He and Lauren were like King and Queen of badass. Wait, that sounds so lame. Scratch that, he's just badass. But this, this wasn't good. They were in a bad part of Lima. There were many people walking the streets. Old women with trolleys, guys high of their faces collapsed on against walls.<p>

Sam could easily be hidden around here. Puck wasn't going to start sifting through piles of cardboard box beds to see if Evans is hidden beneath. He may get HIV or something from a needle. He ain't up with getting that shit.

Lauren seemed calmer than him. People were actually shying away from her, it was awesome. Puck shall never admit this but he did sort of look up to the girl, not literally obviously but metaphorically. Yes, Puck did pay attention in English sometimes he wasn't a total dumbass he was just fucking lazy. He knew that and accepted it.

Finn seemed distraught, Puck had known him since they were in fucking kindergarten and he'd never seen Finn like this. Admittedly the two hadn't been close for about a year because of the whole Beth thing but Puck liked to think he knew Finn well enough to know something was up, something more than what was said. What was going on with Evans and Finn? Finn wouldn't just cry like that over a friend would he? He looked as if he'd found out his mom had died. No something more was up.

Wait, was that Sam? A guy with blonde hair had just walked past. Puck grabbed him and pinned him against the wall. FUCKING HELL! It wasn't Evans, this kid was too young for starters and too small. He was scrawny and his lips were tiny. Nope, definitely not Sam.

"Fucking scram kid!" Pushing out of Puck's grip the kid sprinted down the rest of the alley getting as far away from them as they could.

Puck's phone bleeped and he looked down.

Artie: They've found him text me where you are I'll pick you up.

Fucking finally.

* * *

><p>Artie would admit he was glad about being in the car. Let's face it a wheelchair would just get in the way. Not to mention he's scared someone would try to steal it while he was still in it by either throwing him out or killing him. What a way to die huh, death due to GTW, grand theft wheelchair. That'd totally suck. No, he's glad his dads driving him around.<p>

He cared about Finn. He was worried for the dude's well-being. He wasn't well at the moment, honestly he looked terrible. Sam was the reason Artie presumed. Why Finn was getting so upset he didn't know? Sam and Finn had become best friends he guessed, he had to take it that it was why.

Artie did admit he wanted to know more about Sam's situation before they all went looking for him. What had he done that was so bad his dad went crazy at him, kicked him out and then moved? That was some serious crap dude! Yes, Artie was all about the preach when it came to people getting in trouble for when they've done something seriously bad. Not petty stuff like the stuff Puck does, but serious stuff. But Sam didn't deserve this, it was extreme to a whole new level. Like a long guiltless way of killing someone.

"Artie, your phone is ringing."

Artie looked down in his lap and saw it was vibrating. Damn it, why hadn't he seen the light or kept it in his hand. The phone stopped ringing just as he picked it up; he had one missed call from Quinn. He called her back.

"OK, I'll text Puck and pick him and Lauren up. I'll see you there." He hung up, feeling relieved but slightly worried. Quinn didn't sound too good if truth be told.

"What is it?"

"They've found him, we've got to get Puck and go to the hospital."

* * *

><p>Will was shitting a brick. Yes, he is a teacher and shouldn't be so vulgar but hey it's his brain. Emma was currently walking along holding two super-sized cans of pepper spray and had a face mask on. She looked stupid and was getting odd looks from passers-by. It was quite funny Will admitted and would point out to Emma that her tablets weren't working but he'd let it slide. This was an extreme circumstance after all.<p>

Speaking of which this was very unique. Will had known kids to runaway or be kicked out but for them not to go to a friends is very rare, or so he thought anyway. Emma had talked about how many kids feel they have nowhere to go even though they do. It saddened him to think Sam felt like that. Especially, considering how cut up Finn was. He looked like he was going to faint earlier, but he had Santana so Will wasn't worried. It was odd actually Santana had come back from the summer break and was suddenly all friendly with Finn. Maybe the two were going out?

Will's phone started playing "Don't Stop Believing". Yes it was the kids version, he had got them to record it one glee club meeting. Admittedly it was illegal but it's not as though they were going to sell it.

"Hello."

"Will who is it?"

"Rachel, just calm down. We'll be there." He hung up the phone.

"They've found him haven't they."

"Yeah. We need to get to the hospital, I'll text Shannon she wanted to come on the search but couldn't, I'm sure she could give us a lift."

* * *

><p>Crap. Blaine was nervous, a) because this wasn't a nice place of town and b) who knows what clumsy or stupid thing Brittany might do. She was too naïve. It was endearing of course, he got why Santana loved her. But still she was just too naïve and innocent for her own good. She kept running up to people with a photo of Sam shouting have you seen this frog. I'm not entirely sure why she was calling him a frog; he'd have to ask Santana.<p>

Nobody responded to Brittany of course, most just glared or looked at her like she was a freak. To be honest she was looking freaky, screaming about a frog when holding a picture of a boy (speaking of which where had she got the picture of Sam so quickly). It was Blaine's responsibility to keep Brittany safe, otherwise Santana would kill him. So he linked his arm in hers and dragged her down the street.

She seemed confused at first. "Aren't we helping find Trouty Mouth?"

"Since when have you called him Trouty Mouth, Brittany?" Blaine found this girl confusingly hilarious and couldn't help but chuckle at everything she said.

"It is his name; Santana sung a song about it."

"And what Santana calls people is always their name right?"

"Well no because she calls me baby but I'm not a baby so no."

"Right. Ok then."

"HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FROG!"

Brittany made Blaine jump she had shoved the photo in this couples face and screamed. They looked petrified he quickly mouthed an apology and dragged her away.

"Britt, I don't know if anyone told you but Sam isn't a frog."

"Yeah he is that's why he's called Trouty Mouth."

"Wait, what?"

"He is a Trout."

"But I thought you said he was a frog."

"He is."

Ok, what the hell? She is totally confusing him right now.

"Urmm…"

"He is a trout and a frog."

"Brittany he can't be both."

"Sure he can, they are the same thing." At this she smiled and walked on.

Blaine stood their frozen wondering how in the world this girl had made it into her clothes let alone out of the house without directions. His phone was vibrating in his pocket and he saw Kurt's name flash on the screen.

"Kurt?"

"Sure. Let me get Brittany and we'll be there. We aren't too far."

* * *

><p>"I'm cold."<p>

"Shut it man hands we need to find Sam."

"I'm just saying Barbie that I'm cold."

"Yeah, well so is everyone. Sam's been sleeping out here for over two weeks think about that you stupid selfish bitch!"

Whoa, Rachel hadn't expected that. Quinn was mad, really mad. She obviously cared about Sam a lot, probably because they went out. Rachel did care, she did but its 1am and it is freezing. Not her fault she has a natural habit of voicing her thoughts is it.

"Girls seriously stop arguing we need to look for Sam."

The three turned around a corner and out of a deserted alley. Rachel noticed something on the floor. It was shiny and had a G on it. She bent down to pick it up and noticed it was a guitar pick. Wait, hold on she remembered Sam having a silver guitar pick that had a G on it. Finn had given it to him after they'd been going out officially for a week. It was the day Rachel had found out about them.

Hold up, if this was Sam's and she was pretty sure it was that meant he was or is around here. She turned around looking for a blonde head and turned into a very solid figure.

"Well hello there little lady."

Oh god, this man was huge. He was at least a foot taller than Rachel and smelt of tobacco. He was rough looking with missing teeth that was raised in an ugly smile. He screamed creep.

"I-I-I've g-g-got to g-go." Crap she was stumbling over her words.

She turned to walk away but suddenly felt a hand gripping into her upper right arm. He was holding her to where she stood. Slowly, he brought his hand up and stroked her face. It sent a shiver down her spine and made her want to vomit.

"I don't think so girlie; you can be my prize tonight. Keep me warm."

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Rachel opened her eyes not realising she had closed them or when she'd started shaking. It was Quinn, thank you lord.

"Well, well. Two of you. I'm up for a bit of three-way."

"Ergh, pervert."

He laughed at this, it was an evil laugh. Horrible and full of creepiness. Quinn didn't take this though and was glaring so hard it could kill a rhino.

"Fuck off, you disgusting piece of shit." She grabbed Rachel's hand and turned and pulled her away but the guy yanked her back.

"I don't think so, she is mine." He grabbed Rachel's hip and slapped her arse. Quinn shook with rage and slapped him. Why was Rachel being so passive? She could stand up for herself.

"You vile bitch." He swung his backhand across Quinn's face and the sound echoed slightly in Rachel's ears. Quinn looked on the verge of tears due to the force. He hair was whipped all across her face and it was going red under her hand where she now held her cheek. She slowly brought her hands away and Rachel noticed a cut. They guy had been wearing a ring.

Quinn saw the blood and snapped. She sprayed him in the face (oh, she'd forgotten they had them) and kneed him in a certain area that Rachel tends to avoid even thinking about.

"RUN!"

She grabbed Rachel's hand and sprinted in the opposite direction. Neither girl checked to see if he was following all that mattered was finding Mr Hummel. They saw him standing on the sidewalk looking around.

"GIRLS, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I TOLD YOU TOO STICK BY ME."

"Sorry, Mr Hummel."

"It's ok, just we already have one kid missing we don't need two more." He looked at Quinn, his face now full of panic, "Quinn what happened?"

"It doesn't matter at the moment."

"I found this; it's a present Finn gave Sam."

Quinn took it out of Rachel's hand, she seemed to recognise it too.

"He was here."

"Yeah, looks that way."

The two girls looked at each other. Mr Hummel seemed to be looking somewhere else though.

"Wait, is that…"

* * *

><p>Finn slowly walked down the street. Santana was right next to him pointing her flash light into every doorway. We were going to find him. We will. We will. We will.<p>

"Finn."

"Yeah." His voice hurt and yet he hadn't been talking much. Maybe it was due to crying so much. That could be it; he'd never cried so much in his life.

"Sam's going to be alrigh…"

"Don't San," He turned to look at her. Tears forming in his eyes again, a look of concern on hers. "Don't say something you don't believe."

She swallowed and looked down. She didn't want to admit it, Finn knew that. He didn't want to either but they both blamed themselves for this. They both knew that whatever happened to Sam was their fault. Finn's more than hers. They also both knew that there was no way that Sam would be totally fine. How could he be? Looking around you can tell that this place is dangerous.

"I'm scared Santana."

"I know Finn, I am too. This place isn't exactly screaming ideal place for child's play area."

"No, not of that. Well yes of that but not just that. I'm scared about what we'll find."

She turned to him, confusion and worry both painted across her face. Her face was slightly scrunched up, she had no reply.

"What if we find him dead and mauled? What if he's all beaten? I ca-can't lose him."

He was crying, hiccoughing because of the crying as well. He couldn't look at her no more; he turned his bleary eyes forward and noticed someone. A person was stumbling not far ahead of them. He couldn't see the person properly but they seemed not much shorter than Finn.

He wiped his tears and slowly walked forward, Santana right next to him also noticing who Finn was looking at.

"Finn?"

The person stumbled and fell to the ground. Finn immediately ran up to them. Looking down he saw him, Sam. He looked a mess. Stubble covered his face and his hair was lank, greasy and dirty, sticking to his face. His clothes were covered in dirt and much was ripped. His shut eyes were surrounded by dark circles and his lips were chapped. But to Finn he was Sam.

"Sam."

Finn bent down and touched his face, slowly stroking the hair out of the boys eyes. His eyes were still shut though as Santana put a hand near his neck. Finn didn't know or care what she was doing. The tears were flowing again. He had his Sam back he was touching his Sam again. He pulled Sam's body into a hug, he held his head to his chest slowly kissing his hair.

"Oh my god, I missed you so much Sam. So much."

"Finn…"

"I love you Sam, I didn't say it enough. I do I love you."

"Finn…"

"S-Sam…"

"FINN!"

Finn's head shot up. What could Santana want so badly? She was shaking slightly, something was wrong. He looked down to where her eyes were looking. Blood was trickling down Sam's leg, you could see it through the jeans it was stained with a trail of blood and slowly dropping out of the trouser leg onto Finn. The trail lead somewhere Finn really didn't want to see. It was coming from a big red patch at the back of his jeans. Why he was bleeding there didn't even come into Finn's mind because the boy he was holding onto dear life for still hadn't moved and this had just became real to him.

"Why isn't he moving Santana? Please don't tell me he's d-d… We saw him walking a second ago, he can't be."

"He's not Finn," She finally took her eyes away from the patch. "I think he's unconscious."

This took Finn's breath away, good he wasn't dead. But he was unconscious, oh god. He went back to hugging the blonde.

* * *

><p>"FINN!"<p>

"SANTANA!"

Santana turned to see Mr Hummel, Rachel and Quinn running up to them. Rachel seemed a little dishevelled and Quinn had a cut on her face. Why? What had happened? Wait that can be told later, Sam was important now. She turned back to the boy and tried to get in the way of the blood. She didn't know why he was bleeding but she had an idea.

* * *

><p>Burt knew something was wrong. It was good they'd found Sam but he wasn't moving. He looked at the Latina girl. God, why was he so useless with names?<p>

"Is he ok?"

"I dunno, he isn't dead that is all I can tell. I'm not a doctor."

Burt turned his head back to Sam, Finn was hugging him. Well suffocating him to be honest, if they didn't stop Finn holding on so tight soon then Sam would be dead.

"Finn," Burt crouched down next to his stepson. "You need to let go a bit, you're hurting him."

Finn's eyes widened and he let go completely, Sam's head falling to the boys lap. Finn seemed scared to hurt him so warily stroked his hair. They boy was looking at Sam mesmerized. This wasn't normal behaviour for two best friends, but that could wait. For now. They needed to get Sam to hospital.

"Rachel, you still have Carole's number right?"

The girl shook her head getting herself out of the trance she seemed to be in staring at Sam. "Yes, from when Finn and I dated. Why?"

"Phone her, tell her we've found him and too pick up any of the kids she sees and take them to the hospital."

"I'll phone Artie. He's in the same area as Puck and Lauren he can get them."

"Ok, good." Quinn was already on the phone. "Rachel call your teacher as well."

The two girls started making the calls.

"I'll phone Kurt for you, look after Sam."

Santana got up already on the phone. "Get Kurt to come here, he has the biggest car and is the closest we'll use his to get to the hospital." She nodded and was talking on the phone again.

They needed to get Sam to the hospital. Burt wasn't stupid he knows what the girl was doing. She tried to hide the blood to save Sam embarrassment from the girls when he is better, but Burt saw and he has a feeling he knows what it means. This doesn't look good. All that matters now is Sam's safety, they need to get him to the hospital.

**OK so there you go. Unsure of when the next update will be but do review as I love to know what you think. :) Hope you liked it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**OK so I wanted to update again before next week as I'm unsure whether it'll be like a week before I am able to do so again.**

**So here it is chapter 4. Sam's been found etc. etc.**

**Pairings: Sinn, Brittana, Finntana friendship, Pinn/Fuck bromance slightly, Hudmel relationship especially mother son, Tike mentioned, **

**Tell me what you think and if you notice any mistakes.**

**Missing Him**

Kurt had turned up about two minutes after Santana (he knew her name now and was determined to remember it) had phoned him. He looked scared and was speeding to the hospital. Carole had picked Quinn and Rachel up as Burt was getting into the front of Kurt's Navigator while Sam lay across Finn and Santana in the back seats.

He was pale, probably due to being freezing. The kid wasn't wearing much; he was wearing jeans which were ripped in place, flimsy shoes and his letterman jacket on top of a t-shirt which again had huge rips in it. You couldn't see the skin beneath but Burt had a horrible feeling if you could you'd see many bruises and cuts.

Finn was still shaking, no longer smothering Sam to death just shaking so much that the girl had to hold Sam so he wouldn't fall of the seats and get even more hurt. She obviously cared about the two, which was odd because if this was the girl that Burt believed she was she didn't really show any emotion from the rants Kurt occasionally had about her. She seemed genuinely concerned about protecting them.

She'd tried to hide it, but he'd seen. It was why he immediately took the attention to Finn instead of Sam and got the girls to phone people. He knew that Santana was trying to protect Sam's dignity and not let people see the blood. He knew where it was coming from and it made him feel sick. What had happened to cause bleeding from such an area? Only one thing came to his mind but he couldn't dwell on that, Finn and Kurt would both will need his support and if he started bringing up horrific possibilities of what may have happened to the kid then who is that going to help?

Kurt had phoned Blaine on the ride to the hospital, on his Bluetooth device obviously. Sure, this maybe an extreme circumstance but Burt wasn't going to let people die, if Kurt hadn't used his Bluetooth he'd have forced him too. He was speeding as it is which was dangerous considering it was dark without the added extra of the distraction of holding a phone.

"Blaine is going to meet us there, he said him and Brittany are not too far away from the hospital."

Santana's head flickered to Kurt when the girl was mentioned. That must be her best friend, so this girl did have emotions and empathy for others. She doesn't seem as bad as Kurt made out.

* * *

><p>They pulled up outside the hospital after about three minutes of Kurt speeding. Burt would say he was being irresponsible but Sam's life could be in danger, they don't know the extent of his injuries. As soon as Burt and Finn had carried Sam into the reception a nurse had come sprinting up asking countless questions. She had called for others to help her and soon Sam was being stretchered off down a corridor while they were told to wait in the waiting area.<p>

A nurse stayed with them, continuing to ask questions as Santana helped guide Finn to a seat. The boy was different to how he was before, but still he seemed fragile, like he may break any second or even just shatter at a touch.

"I need to ask some questions, we need as much information as possible about his condition and personal details as we can."

Nobody spoke and Burt realised it was his responsibility to speak but was interrupted by a hoarse whisper.

"Ok."

Finn was scared, what if Sam died. He couldn't even cope with the idea. No, he needed a distraction that's what normally people would do to keep their mind of things. This was the only distraction at hand so he took it.

"Right, so we have his personal details from which you," she nodded towards Kurt. "Had told us when you brought him in but we have no information about his next of kin or his family. Are you all related to him?"

"No." He was going to have to talk about that damn family, how dare they do that to Sam. He didn't deserve this. Finn deserved this, he was a prick and a douchebag who didn't even care about the fact his boyfriend was missing.

"Stop it Finn." Santana was staring at him, she still held his hand. He hadn't noticed before, it was as if this was just normal for the two now. Which was odd considering they weren't even good friends a few months ago. "Stop blaming yourself and thinking you are a shit person or whatever. You aren't."

It was weird; she seemed to know what he was thinking. Maybe she was thinking similar things but about herself, she had told him not to worry. But this wasn't her fault. It wasn't.

"Ok then, if you aren't family of his then do you know where his family is?"

Santana spoke for Finn this time, she was after all the only other person that knew the full story and at this present time she was being stronger than Finn. He felt weak and exhausted, like he could sleep for a year and then get up and still feel awful.

"No we don't, they kicked him out about two and a half weeks ago. As far as we know he's been living on the streets but we honestly have no idea what happened to him."

Santana had said all she felt was necessary, after all she was being truthful. They had no idea what happened to him they can only speculate. She wasn't going to bring up the blood either, Finn seemed to have forgotten about it and she knew he definitely had seen it. He was probably just too worried about Sam's general well-being and blaming himself to be able to think about what that blood may mean.

"Right," the nurse made more notes on her forms, she continued answering questions, most being answered by Burt now. Once she was done she walked off telling them she'd inform them off any information when it becomes available. This didn't help Finn; he wanted to see Sam now. Just to see him open his eyes and say a word. Any word he could say just a random word like chair or something Finn just didn't care. He needed to see he was ok.

* * *

><p>As time went by the others arrived. His mom turned up with Tina, Mike, Mercedes, Rachel and Quinn five minutes after everyone else. Instinctively his mom went to Burt and they hugged and kissed while Mercedes went to Kurt and the two started talking. Mike and Tina smiled at Finn in a comforting way but Finn didn't respond. He was just sitting there leaning forward staring into nothing. Quinn disappeared for a few minutes but Finn didn't really listen to the explanation.<p>

"What happened to Quinn?" Rachel had sat down between Santana and Kurt.

"I urmm…. well I found something on the floor while we were searching and this guy started grabbing me. Quinn came back and sort of fought him off for me. She got hit in the face in the process."

Kurt's eyes narrowed, there was slightly more too this. The guy probably tried to get Rachel to do stuff with him, but good for Quinn he knew she was tough but she seemed totally unfazed by the cut on her face. She'd only gone to a nurse because Carole had insisted.

Time ticked by slowly. Mr Schue and Ms Pillsbury showed up about an hour after his mom had arrived and then Blaine eventually showed up with Brittany. Finn could tell Santana wanted to go up to her but she didn't move, she seemed scared to leave him.

"Go to her."

"What?"

"You want to see her San, I'm stupid but I'm not that stupid. I'll be fine."

She didn't seem convinced but got up anyway hugging him a little before forcing him to look at her. "Look here Finn, you and Sam will be alright. There will be aftershocks from this but that doesn't mean you can't battle through them. Sam is in the safest place he can be right now so don't worry. Just know I'm always here Finn, always."

She removed her hand from his shoulder and walked up to Brittany. The moment she looked at her a great big grin spread across Santana's face. She seemed to just get joy from seeing her. Finn got that, he felt the same way about Sam. Sam had to be ok, he had too. They'd arrived at the hospital about 1:30ish and it was now 3. If he was ok why was it taking so long?

"Finn, honey."

His mom had sat down next to him, she looked slightly worried but she seemed to know what to do. She took him into her arms and just held him. Resting her head on his shoulders, much in the same way she did when she saw the sonogram a couple of years ago. She just sat there whispering words of comfort while stroking his hair.

"Let it go baby, let it all out."

And he did, he cried, he cried so much he thought he must have lost half the amount of water in his body. He slowly drifted off to sleep without even realising he was doing so. It wasn't for another hour before he woke up still in his mother's arms.

* * *

><p>He stumbled awake; his mom looking at him as if slightly shocked that he'd only managed only an hour's worth of sleep. He looked around the waiting room. No one but the people here for Sam was there. Mike and Tina were both cuddled up together sleeping in the corner. He wished that was him and Sam. He missed cuddling with him, just to feel his warm body pressed against his. He need that touch, he craved it.<p>

Artie's dad must have arrived while Finn slept. They'd had the furthest to travel so it made sense that they were the last there. Puck noticed Finn was awake and smiled a little smile at him. Not one of his cocky smiles but a genuine nice smile. It warmed Finn, he hadn't been great friends with Puck for a while but he still classed him as one of his best friends, they'd known each other too long.

It was then that a nurse came walking up to them, the same one from before. She started talking to Burt.

"Sam's awake now; he has suffered some trauma but is genuinely healthy. He is currently refusing to tell us what happened to him but that is often the case with people who get picked up of the streets. He can have a couple of visitors but that is it we can't have you all going in there."

He was ok, thank god!

He needed to see him; he was already on his feet, as was Santana. She seemed to be the only other person awake apart from Puck. She had walked up next to Finn as the nurse had spoken and already had his hand in hers. It was odd how they both god comfort from just holding each other's hands, there was no romantic connection there but still they just felt supported by each other.

"Finn needs to see him. Alone."

Burt looked at Santana as she spoke and then looked at Finn. While he looked at him his decision seemed to be made. "Yeah, you're right."

"Take me down there, please." He did want to see Sam on his own he admitted but he wasn't sure if his legs would hold out if he walked to the room on his own, he needed Santana.

She looked at him curiously, "Sure, I'll wait outside the door for you two to finish talking."

The pair followed the nurse down the hall stopped outside a private ward. She had mentioned that due to his age and what may have happened to him the hospital deemed it necessary to give Sam his own private room. Burt said he'd pay for it if necessary.

"I can give you about thirty minutes, after that you'll have to either go home or wait in the waiting area again. He is going to have to have a discussion with the police."

"The police?" Why was he talking to the police? What the fuck happened to him? The nurse must have seen the panic on his face because she smiled and put a comforting hand on his forearm.

"It is just procedure for those who are found on the street and in a condition like Sam was in. He is still a minor technically. The police will just ask him some routine questions is all."

Finn let go of a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding, it isn't because he is in danger or anything then. Good. The nurse left the two standing outside the door.

"I'll wait out here Finn." He nodded but still didn't move, he was scared and he had no idea why. "Finn you need to see him, grow a pair and go in. Go and see your man."

She was smiling slightly as she said the last part. Finn himself found he was smiling. He had his Sam back, he couldn't believe it. He'd been going through hell for two and a half weeks and it was now over. He had his boyfriend home. He couldn't help but get a massive grin on his face. He must look extremely dopey but he couldn't care less.

* * *

><p>He turned around and slowly opened the door. Sam was lying on the bed looking bored, playing with the drip that was going into his arm. He wasn't wearing what they'd found him in, instead he was wearing a night gown that belonged to the hospital while his clothes were in a pile on the chair in the corner.<p>

The blonde boys head turned towards Finn as he walked in. Sam looked awful, in the dark he'd looked bad under the lights you could see everything. He had huge bags under his eyes and his face looked hollow and slightly sunken. His hair was longer than what it had been and extremely greasy while his lips were extremely chapped. Despite all this Finn just wanted to run his fingers through his hair and kiss those lips forever.

Sam didn't seem happy to see Finn, he wasn't angry or anything he just looked scared.

"Finn." His voice was hoarse but still it was Sam's voice. He was alive, he was here. Finn couldn't help but smile more.

"Sam, I missed you so much," he walked up to the bed and grabbed a chair to sit on while doing so. He sat next to the bed and continued. "I missed you; I've been going crazy without you Sam."

The blonde boy just stared at Finn; he wouldn't look him directly in the eyes though he seemed to look slightly over Finn's shoulder. Something wasn't right, Sam would always look Finn in the face but now he seemed to be avoiding it. He used to say how he could look at Finn's eyes for eternity (he'd even had to explain to Finn what the word meant) but he couldn't even bring himself to look down.

"Sam, what happened to you? Why didn't you come and find me, you could have stayed with me? I should have forced you to come with me, not just left you at that motel. I didn't even check on you the next day, I just presumed you were fine and the whole time you were out on those streets. I'm a monster, I don't deserve y…"

"Don't."

Sam's hazel eyes had flickered to look at Finn's for a brief second, he was now back at looking just over Finn's shoulder. There wasn't something behind those eyes that wasn't there before but what Finn didn't know. He reached his hand out and touched Sam's arm. It was cold but Finn didn't get chance to do anything more than touch because the boy had flinched and drew his body away.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

He was shaking and fear was spread across his face. Tears were forming in his eyes and he held onto the place Finn had touched him as if it had been burnt. Finn was confused; did Sam not love him anymore? Or was it something else? Did something happen to Sam? It hurt him that he couldn't touch his boyfriend, he wanted to so badly. Just to feel him, why was Sam so scared?

"Sam, tell me. Please, I can help you. I love you Sam."

Sam licked his lips slightly and continued to look anywhere but Finn. Was he really scared of him?

"I-I," he was stammering and sniffing. "c-c-can't."

This wasn't fair, he could barely get more that two words out of the boy and he couldn't touch him. It hurt that he couldn't just hold Sam and tell him everything would be fine. It hurt even more that Sam couldn't feel he could tell Finn what was going on.

"Sam…"

"Finn, just go I'm tired ok."

Sam suddenly seemed angry, had Finn pissed him off? Was Sam annoyed at Finn? Did he blame him just like Finn did? It was his fault, he knew it.

"I'm sorry Sam." He was crying now, he tasted the salty tears. Sam looked at Finn's face again, still not making eye contact though, this frustrated Finn. "LOOK AT ME SAM!"

This made the boy jump and Finn instantly regretted shouting. Sam was shaking again as if he was scared something may happen. Finn was making him feel this way and it made him feel sick. His own boyfriend was scared of his touch and he was making things worse by shouting at him. What the hell is wrong with him?

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout."

"Finn, just go."

"Sam, I…"

"GO FINN!"

Sam screamed at Finn and he literally stepped back away from the bed, the ferocity in his voice was petrifying because it was mixed with pain. Sam turned his back away from Finn and curled up into the sheets of the hospital bed. Finn wanted to lay behind him and just hug him but couldn't bring himself to do it. He slowly walked away from the bed and left the room.

Sam hated him. He broke down the moment he had closed the door, Santana immediately there to just hold him. Sam hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. He was scared of him. Santana didn't ask what happened in the room; she probably heard some of it. He was thankful she wasn't being nosy but he knew she'd ask eventually. Why did Sam hate him so much? What had he done? He really was too blame for this wasn't he.

He just wanted his Sam back, not this Sam. This wasn't Sam it was as if someone had taken Sam beaten the crap out of him and then stripped back everything strong and just left a vulnerable nothingness behind. It killed Finn to see him like that and he was going to find out what happened even if it ruined their relationship (it seemed ruined already), Sam was going to have to tell him eventually. Finn would make him, he needed to help him. Sam needed him now more than ever, and Finn was not going to run away from it. He'd take it slow and just be there, always.

Santana had heard both boys shouting, she was worried about their relationship but more worried about Sam. If her suspicions were right she knew he was damaged goods now, it'll take a long time to fix this, it may never be fixed. She was going to be here for them both. These boys needed her, even if it was just for support like she was holding Finn now. She was going to help them, no matter how long it takes.

**Thank you for reading, Reviews would be awesome :). Update will be asap.**


	5. Chapter 5

**So here is chapter 5. I had spare time and started writing not realising how tired I was and then couldn't stop.**

**I haven't reread so probably many mistakes (if found do tell) not sure how good it is as I was unsure how to write this one. All I'll say is that it may seem like I'm going to just skip over all the angst and emotions and hardship but I'm not going too. It was just a chapter that I had to write to set up the rest of the story. **

**Hope you like it.**

**Pairings: Sinn, Finntana, Hudmel family, Blaintana etc.**

**Missing Him**

Once Santana had managed to calm Finn down a bit she took him back to the waiting room. They'd been gone a good twenty minutes so people had left. Mr Hummel mentioned that Mike's parents had phoned him saying they weren't happy with him staying out all night so he left with Tina just after the two had gone to see Sam. Artie's dad felt that now they knew Sam was ok that it wasn't worth staying so he took Artie home along with Lauren and Puck. Mr Schue had phoned up Figgins as well and told him what was going on. He'd been sympathetic and let the club have the next day off school, after all it was 5am now and none of them would be able to concentrate in class so it was sort of pointless even going.

When Santana walked back into the waiting room all heads had looked up, Finn was still holding her hand, it looked as if she was dragging a giant child along by their wrist. He was in his own world, Santana didn't know everything about what happened in there but she knew it'd upset Finn. The remaining club members could tell something was wrong and all gave Santana quizzical looks.

"Sam's ok I think, I didn't actually go in there wasn't time. Police officers are supposed to be here soon and are going to give him a few routine questions."

"That makes sense," Kurt had walked up to the pair and given Santana a coffee and was looking at Finn and then the other cup in his hand and then gave it too Mrs Hummel. "I think Finn should probably have this but at the moment I'm unsure if he can keep his hand steady."

Santana looked back at the boy and noticed his hands were indeed shaking, well the hand that wasn't grasping onto hers for dear life. His eyes were all red from where he'd been sobbing and he was looking at the floor with a far off look in his eye.

She guided him into the seat next to his mom and then she went to sit next to Blaine as Brittany was currently sleeping and had taken up an entire row of chairs. Blaine turned to her when she sat down and went to speak. She knew he was going to ask questions about Finn but it could wait. She held up her hand and mumbled "later yeah." He took this and nodded while handing her a bag of chips. She hadn't realised until now just how hungry she was, she guessed all this was distracting enough that hunger didn't really come into it.

"What's going to happen to Sam?" Rachel was looking towards Burt's dad while she asked the question. Santana had been wondering herself, she knew Sam was going to be dealing with a lot of shit but there was still the fact he was homeless.

"Is he going to go into a care home?" Quinn looked disgusted by the idea as she said it, she doubted it was because Q didn't think those places were good it is just the fact that Sam didn't deserve to be there. He deserved to be around those who cared about him.

"I don't know I'm afraid, maybe. They may try to place him with family members' first or possibly even close friends. He's under eighteen so is the state is still responsible for him."

"A social services person will probably be with the police I expect," Mrs Hummel was still looking at Finn as she spoke, "if it's possible we may be able to let him live with us."

Finn's head shot up and snapped towards his mom, shocked etched on his face. Did he just hear his mother right? Sam could come live with them. "W-what?"

"Urmm… Carole, Dad. Are you sure do we have the room?"

"Well we were thinking about it Kurt and we can make room. We don't have a spare but Finn's room is bigger than yours and could easily fit another bed in it. The two could share."

Finn's heart was suddenly filled with joy at the idea of sharing a room with Sam. Admittedly if his parents knew about their relationship then they probably wouldn't allow it as Kurt isn't even allowed Blaine in his room without having at least one other person in the house at all times and the door must be open. Another thing suddenly hit Finn; Sam hadn't even let Finn touch him just now. He didn't want Finn anymore, he hated him. He wouldn't want to share a room with him.

"Wait why can they share a room and yet Blaine and I can't even spend a minute in a room together with a closed door?"

Kurt looked shocked at what he just said and then quickly tried to cover up his slight give away about his brother's relationship. "Actually, don't worry about it."

Santana noticed that Mrs Hummel didn't quite know what to think about what Kurt had said and was looking between Kurt and Finn. She wondered if she was figuring out the truth.

"The point is we don't even know if it'll be allowed Kurt," Mr Hummel hadn't seemed to notice the slip up or he did and didn't show it. "The authorities may not allow it o-"

"Or Sam may not want to live with us."

Santana looked at Finn, his voice had cracked slightly again and was so quiet that if the hospital wasn't so quiet no one would have heard. He looked depressed again. She knew the two had fallen out, well more than that but she didn't know the whole story so couldn't say for sure. But they'd make up, they had to. She would make sure of it.

* * *

><p>Sam felt bad, he did. He hadn't meant to shout at Finn, but Finn had shouted at him as well. Can't he tell he is hurt, can't Finn see that. Was Sam being selfish putting all this on Finn? He had freaked when Finn touched him but he couldn't help it, it just took him back. Took him back there. No he can't think about that, he won't. The pain was bad enough, it was almost unbearable and it hurt whenever he'd put any sort of weight onto his arse. It hurt like hell, even with lots of cushions.<p>

He sort of wondered whether he'd brought this on himself. Maybe he'd been stupid not just going to Finn's when he got kicked out but he couldn't. He just could not bring himself to be such a burden on anyone. His family hated him, why should anyone else want him? No, he'd done what he felt he deserved. He was nothing; it's what his dad had said. That he was a worthless piece of shit and Sam knew that was true. That meant he should go where other worthless shits go and that's the streets.

He didn't blame Finn; he just couldn't bring himself to think properly. His thoughts were all muddled, he couldn't think clearly. He wanted to feel Finn's warmth he really _really_ did, but he couldn't bring himself to want it enough to be able to relive those moments. He didn't want to relive and every time someone touched him he would. He can't deal with that.

The nurse had mentioned something about police, he wouldn't tell them. He was disgusted with himself he can't tell them, what would they think. They'd be repulsed probably, sickened by the sight of him. They'd want to get as far away from the horrific human being he is in case they get infected by his vile nature.

The door slowly opened and Sam hoped it was Finn but knew it wasn't. He'd heard Finn crying after he left, barely though as Sam couldn't hear much through his own sobs and shakes. But he'd heard the sobs of Finn Hudson move away a while ago.

"Sam?"

He turned over on his bed and sat up a bit. This was a woman, she seemed nice enough to look at, and she was accompanied by another woman with a clipboard and a nurse. Not the one from earlier though, a new one she had probably finished her shift and been replaced. There was also a guy there, he wore a white coat and Sam presumed it was the doctor.

"It is Sam right?"

He nodded, he wasn't up for talking because he's scared what his voice may sound like plus he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"OK," she sat on the edge of his bed and he automatically pulled his feet away from her. The lady with the clipboard seemed to notice and wrote something down. What was she writing?

"Sam we need to ask you some questions do you think you'll be up for that?"

He opened his mouth to reply yes but nothing came out so he nodded again. He wanted to speak that time because although he didn't want to he had too and if he was going to have to answer things he can't just nod.

"I'll get him some water." The nurse walked over to the cooler in the corner and gave Sam a cup. It was cool as he drank it, soothing and distracting from the dull pain that was still shooting through his body. It hurt to sit like this but he was blocking it out at the moment.

"Alright then Sam, I'm Police Officer Olivia Geller and I need to ask some very simple routine questions."

He nodded again, not really knowing what else to do.

"Right, first of all how long were you on the streets?"

Sam looked at her, he honestly didn't know. He'd lost track of the days, it felt like eternity.

"It is fine if you are unsure, many lose track." She smiled warmly at him but it didn't soothe him it just made him feel uneasy.

"Can you tell us what happened to you?"

No, no he couldn't and he wouldn't. They can't make him either.

"Sam, we know what has happened to your body. " It was the doctor, he was looking at the notes at the end of the bed. "You have obvious signs of possible prolapse of the rectum as well as damage to the anal area resolving in bleeding from the anus. There is also evidence of drugs being introduced to your system as needle marks are visible on your right arm. These do seem to be a few says old, possibly a week maybe more. We know all this, but we don't know what has happened to you. Unless you tell us more we can't help you much."

Sam was panicking, they knew. Oh god, they knew. They must think he's disgusting, they must. How can they even stand to be near him?

"Sam, you don't have to tell us." The police officer was talking again. "It is not necessary right now or at all if you don't want too. We can't force you. However, I do suggest you do. That way these doctors can help you deal with it all. Help you get better."

"Why can't they do that without knowing?"

She turned her head towards the doctor. He looked back at the notes. "Well we can, physically you should be fine. Your anal area will be sore for many days but the prolapse fixed itself before you were even brought in and the bleeding stopped not long after the nurse had done her initial check. As for the drugs well as these seem old I doubt addiction will be a problem. But Sam whatever it is that has happened to you over the last two and a half weeks will affect you psychologically more than physically. We can't help you with that unless you are willing to co-operate."

Two and a half weeks, he'd been gone that long. Had he really not seen Finn for that long? No wonder he missed him so much, if Sam hadn't been in hell he would have missed Finn dramatically. He can't even fathom the idea of two and a half weeks of not knowing if Finn was safe. It made him feel selfish for letting him go through that. This wasn't going to help matters either, if he told them it'll just be more grief for Finn. No, he must protect him from the truth.

"I have nothing to say."

Both the police officer and the doctor looked disappointed. Sam didn't care though, he had his reasons he couldn't talk about it even if he wanted to anyway. The doctor had said he'd be fine physically so that's all that matters.

"Alright then Sam, we've got other things to talk about anyway. Like where you shall live. The doctor here tells me that you only need to spend the next couple of days in here just to build up your strength and get some food and energy back into you. Then you can go, however your family don't want to look after you. We've been in contact with them and your father said that he didn't want to know so has handed you over to the state. This means you'll probably go into a care home. Lydia here is from social services."

She pointed a clipboard lady. Social services, care home. What he can't go in a care home, he doesn't want too.

"Hello Sam, I'm here to make sure you get the best possible care that the state can provide." She was looking at Sam trying to seem comforting, but Sam's head hurt again. He wanted to sleep to not have to think about this. He can't go into care. "We may have an alternative plan for you other than going in a care home or living with a foster family."

"Really? What?"

She smiled at his enthusiasm at this. She nodded at the nurse who turned around and left. There was silence in the room for a second before the nurse returned with others. It was Finn, and Kurt and their parents. What were they doing here?

"Mr and Mrs Hummel have spoken to us. The fact is you are eighteen over the next year which means care homes or foster families seem pointless. It'd make more sense if you went to live with a family that you are already familiar with. We know from your friends and Mr and Mrs Hummel that you used to spend a lot of time at their house including many nights a week. This means it is a familiar place for you, and with your recent incidents it is normally suggested that a familiar surrounding is a good thing."

Sam looked at Finn; he seemed wary of Sam and didn't want to make eye contact with him. He then looked at Burt and Carole (they'd told him to use their first names ever since he'd spent an entire week at their house) they both smiled at him. Had he heard right was he going to be living with the Hudmels?

"Urmm… I don't understand."

"Sam, Burt and I would like you to live with us. You'll be eighteen soon so you will be able to live where you like meaning you won't have to stay in care. There doesn't seem much point of you even going in there if you are only going to be there a short while."

"I can't let you…"

"Well the proper procedures will have to be made. All family members will need to be interviewed and the house and living space will need to be investigated. But from what information I already know, there should be no problems."

Ignoring the social services woman's comments Sam continued. "I can't let you do this, what about all the extra money it'll cost you. Where will I even sleep?"

"The state shall help us with the extra costs Sam. Carole and I will get some extra funds until you are eighteen for things like food and clothing. As for sleeping arrangements well we thought you could share a room with Finn. He has the biggest room and you already spent most of your summer in it."

Finn looked at Sam when his room was mentioned, he seemed nervous. Probably because of their shouting match earlier and the way Sam had reacted. He didn't know if things would be back to normal, in fact he knew they wouldn't. But he liked the idea of this.

"It is fine if you don't want to share a room with me. I understand."

Finn's voice was quiet and it broke Sam's heart. He missed him so much, but he couldn't even think about Finn without going back there. Damn it Sam, block it out.

"It isn't that, I-I just can't let you…"

"Yes, you can Sam." Kurt had spoken for the first time since entering the room. He'd been watching Sam the entire time and had noticed that he was sitting uncomfortably. He seemed to wince every time he put pressure on his lower body. Why? Was Sam hurt? He thought Santana had said he was OK. It appeared that sitting seemed to cause him pain though. "You can Sam and you will."

Sam looked at the Hudmels and realised something. He wanted this more than anything, he felt bad about it but he didn't want to go into care. He had practically been living with them before all this anyway.

"Ok then."

Burt was happy to hear this, he liked Sam. He was a good kid, admittedly though he was concerned. The kid was damaged, extremely so. He'd heard the Latina girl (darn he'd forgotten her name again) telling Blaine about what had happened when Finn came in here earlier. Even now Sam had drawn his body up into a tight ball and wasn't putting too much weight on his lower body. He hoped to god that his suspicion weren't right, but the signs kept pointing that way. The next few months were going to be tough he could feel it.

This boy would need their help, as was Finn. He wasn't dumb he knew that the two boys were either together or had unresolved feelings towards each other. He leaned towards the first bit after Kurt's outburst earlier and he knew Carole knew as well. Neither cared but they both cared for the boys. They were going to support them. As far as Burt was concerned Sam was going to be part of the family now.

**OK so there you go. Review please :) I love to hear feedback even if its I HATE IT.**


	6. Chapter 6

**OK so sorry that it is my shortest chapter so far I was in a rush and wanted to update. THANK YOU EVERYONE! All the reviews, favourites, story alerts are amazing. I can't believe anyone owuld want to read my writing so it really shocks me people like it.**

**Like I said I rushed this so there maybe mistakes so PLEASE tell me if you see any, I hate having mistakes.**

**OK so Santana (I so didn't write Santa the first time i wrote that :P), Blaine, Finn and Sam all have POVs in this.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

**Missing Him**

Rachel, Quinn, Mr Schue and Ms Pillsbury left while the Hudmels were in Sam's room. Kurt had told Santana what his dad and Mrs Hummel were planning and she liked the idea. Sam needed people that would comfort him and she was positive that he'd get that at their house. Both parents were two of the most understanding people she knew, plus it'd be good for Finn and Sam's relationship.

Santana and Blaine were the only two left in the waiting room now. It was 7am but it was alright for her, after all her father was a doctor and worked at this very hospital. He understood things took time and her mom was going to pick her up as she dropped him off at work. Normally he'd drive but it was better to kill two birds with one stone or whatever the saying was.

Brittany had been picked up by her mom an hour earlier and Blaine wasn't leaving until he was sure Kurt didn't need his support. To be honest, Santana felt that Blaine was being a good boyfriend but Kurt wasn't the one in need of support anyway. Then again, Blaine was a good comfort to have there, she could talk to him so easily especially since she'd become such good friends with him. He still didn't know what had happened and she knew the question he was about to ask was coming.

"You didn't say why Sam actually got thrown out earlier. Are you going to tell me?"

"I want to but is it my place?" Wow, she was actually thinking about not spreading shit about, it proved to her how much she'd changed. Well, when she says changed she means when it comes to the glee club and people she likes, if it was someone she had no feelings about she'd basically rip them to shreds.

"You don't have to tell me the extremely personal stuff San; I know Finn's involved somehow. I know they are going out, I've been in the loop since the beginning practically. You can tell me what Finn did to get his boyfriend thrown out surely, I won't tell anyone not even Kurt."

Santana turned to him, he had a point. He did know everything so far, he'd helped Finn and Sam get together in the first place. This wasn't breaking Finn's trust, he hadn't done anything wrong.

"It wasn't anything major, well it was to Sam's dad but not generally. His dad caught Sam and Finn kissing or something and sort of lost it. Finn left thinking it was for the best. Although now, he just hates himself and blames himself. Really it is my fault."

What? How was it Santana's fault, she hadn't done anything. He had sort of become best friends with the girl but she still slightly confused and yet intrigued him. She was so cut off from her emotions majority of the time but seemed to just open like an onion when she was around him and members of the glee club. His face screwed up in confusion at her statement though, it still made no sense for her to feel guilty.

"How is it your fault? You didn't kick Sam out."

She tipped her head down and turned away from Blaine. Wait was she going to cry? Like holy cow she really did feel like she was to blame. He leant towards her and grabbed her hand while with the other grabbing her chin and turning her head towards him. He starred into her eyes to see them starting to well up.

"San, you can talk to me you know. I care about you."

She sighed and her breathing was slightly erratic like she was struggling to hold back tears.

"It's all my fucking fault Blaine. Why did I have to be such an arrogant selfish motherfucking bitch like always?"

"Santana you aren't making sense."

"I told Finn it was fine. I _told _him not to fucking worry about Sam, that everything will be fine. If only I'd told Finn to go and see Sam, then maybe he wouldn't have spent so long on the street doing fuck knows what. Being scared out of his fucking mind while surrounded by awful people…"

Her voice cracked as she let out a slight snob and sniffed. She was finally breaking down, she had appeared the strong one through this entire thing but she couldn't stay strong forever, Blaine was glad she could open up to him.

"It's ok Santana, you are not to blame. You hear me? You _are not_ to blame."

She looked at him like she didn't believe him.

"Listen to me ok, you aren't. The only people that are responsible for this is Sam's homophobic father. It isn't your fault nor Finn's. You need to get that into you're fucking head."

The fact he swore seemed to shake Santana out of her emotional outbreak. She smiled, after all he'd never sworn in front of her and he generally only used swear words when necessary. He just wasn't used to saying them and didn't want to start using them now.

She licked her lips and nodded her head. "Ok, I know you're right. But I can't stop feeling guilty about this."

"That's normal, we all feel guilty. Half of us didn't even notice for the first week that it was odd for Sam not to be there. Guilt is just something that happens when bad things happen to those we care about. We just feel responsible because we didn't stop it, even if we couldn't have even if we tried."

She nodded again and squeezed his hand. Wiping her eyes she flicked her hair back and sat up straighter. She was getting her I'm the Queen Bitch vibe back simply by just changing her sitting position.

"You tell ANYONE about this I shall endz you preppy."

"Deal."

* * *

><p>Sam was left to fall asleep, he had been sleeping rough after all and all the tests and questions had worn him out. So he was left to sleep. Finn didn't want to leave though so he sat in the room still and let the rest of his family leave.<p>

He'd been told that Sam would have to stay in for a couple of days. Not because he was hurt just so that they could monitor him and get him well fed again. He hadn't eaten properly in at least a couple of days. This had made Finn curious as to what he ate for the last couple of weeks, where had he got the food or money?

Finn didn't know what had happened to Sam. Sam hadn't told him still but he wanted to know, he couldn't think about anything else. He kept getting horrible images of Sam being beaten up by a bunch of thugs. It sickened him that he couldn't protect his boyfriend and the fact that he didn't even know hurt him even more. Finn decided he'd wait, Sam would tell him eventually. That's what Kurt and Santana had both said. "Give him time." They'd both said, fine then he'd give him time and let Sam come to him when he was ready.

Mom had explained that while Sam was in hospital they would get the house ready. They needed to get the bed and have the house inspected by social services. They said it would be fine though. They also needed to interview the family. Finn had already had his done, it was short and the woman had said that she could tell Finn cared for Sam. That it was a priority to put him somewhere that he'll be comfortable and cared for. Finn couldn't think of a better place than with him, to hold Sam in his arms and comfort him would be totally awesome. That is if Sam doesn't get scared by his touch.

A few hours passed and Finn eventually fell asleep in the chair by Sam's bed. It had been at least 4 hours since he'd slept in the waiting room and that had only been for an hour.

* * *

><p>Sam woke to see Finn sitting rather uncomfortably on the chair snoring lightly. It was cute, well Finn was cute. The little sounds he made, the way his chest rose up and down, his awesome bed hair that would look so god damn hot when he woke up. Sam wished he could feel Finn but he couldn't it brought him back there. It was bad enough in his dreams that he had to relive it let alone when he was awake as well.<p>

They'd given him painkillers so it didn't hurt as much to sit now. He'd discovered if he sat a certain way it also lessened the pain. He hated that there was such a blatant reminder of what had happened. It was as if his body was screaming I SHALL NOT LET YOU FORGET. He wished he just could, he wished he could just forget it all and move on. But how can he? How?

* * *

><p>Finn was woken awake by a nurse a few hours later. She had said that he needed to leave as they needed to change Sam's sheets and stuff. He didn't understand why that meant leaving but he did what was asked anyway. He kept checking back on Sam as often as possible over the next day, they never spoke. Finn tried too but he didn't know what to say, why was it so difficult to speak to his boyfriend? He still felt guilty, that was the problem<p>

The hospital said Sam was doing better than they thought and all that was necessary now was too wait for social services. Unfortunately that meant LOTS of paper work. His mom, Burt, Kurt, Sam and Finn all had to sign form after form after form. It was ridiculous, after all the house was deemed ok and everyone was happy with Sam living there what was the hold up? Were these forms necessary, apparently so.

Finally, two days after Sam was admitted to hospital he was released. Finn was nervous, Sam was coming back to his house and they still hadn't spoken. He was excited at the thought of waking up to see Sam everyday but thinks weren't right between them still. Sam himself looked nervous, Finn could always tell because the boy would chew on his amazingly wonderful lips. Stop thinking about kissing them Finn, be patient.

The drive home was awkward. Mom and Burt both sat in the front with Finn and Sam in the back. Kurt was at the house with Blaine they'd decided to greet them at home. Finn kept looking sideways at Sam. He still hadn't spoken to him, not since the day the found him. He was scared he may not ever hear Sam's voice again when he spoke.

"Thank you for this Mr and Mrs Hummel. It means a lot."

He barely looked up when he said the words; he was staring into his lap playing with his hands. Finn knew this meant Sam felt out of place. He did it whenever he had to accompany Finn to speak to a teacher or something.

"It's ok Sam, we want to do it. You've spent so much time at our house it'd be odd not to have you there. Plus call me Carole, Mrs Hummel is far too formal and I'm not one for formal."

She smiled back at him and Sam's mood seemed to lift. He loved his mom she always said the right thing, knew what to do or say. She was awesome, plus she was so accepting. Not many people would just take a teenage boy who is homeless into their house. Burt and mom were awesome for that, Finn knew this.

They pulled up outside the house and the four of them got out. Finn had worried about this the entire ride home, Sam was in his room. He didn't want awkward silences, he hated them.

As they entered the house Kurt greeted them and went to hug Sam but stopped himself. Finn had told Kurt, Blaine, Quinn, Rachel and Mercedes what had happened in the hospital room. He felt he had too, they cared a lot about both of them and it felt rude to shut them out after all they'd done for him. They had all said the same thing about how Sam had been through a lot. He knew this but it didn't make any of it easier.

"Finn why don't you take Sam up to your room and show him where he is sleeping?"

Finn turned to Sam and the boy just nodded at him, not even looking into his eye. Finn felt his stomach drop again, why couldn't he look at him? He just wanted to look into those amazing eyes again, he loved Sam's eyes they were one of his many great features.

Finn sighed and heaved his way upstairs, he knew Sam was following him but he didn't turn to look. It felt weird between them, he didn't want it too he really didn't. When they got into Finn's room there was silence and he felt like he needed to say something.

"So urmm…" he licked his lips, why was this so difficult, it was Sam. The person he loved, not some evil monster or some kid he'd never met. "That's your bed, the one that isn't mine."

He pointed at the double bed that was next to his, a gap separated the two beds. His room was huge and they realised early on that two double beds fit in the room and still left a lot of space. All of Sam's stuff was on his bed in boxes still; they'd brought a new chest of drawers and put up a shelf for his stuff. If that wasn't enough room Finn could move some of his. It was fine.

"Thank you for stating the obvious Finnegan."

Finn's head snapped up, he'd called him Finnegan. He only called him that when he was taking the piss out of him. They'd been watching Harry Potter and there was a character called Seamus Finnegan and he'd wondered if his name was actually Finnegan and had to ask him mom. Sam found it hilarious. The blonde was smiling and had walked over to the boxes and picked up his guitar and immediately put it over his neck. He strummed a chord and sat on the bed.

"You missed it?"

"Not as much as I missed you."

Sam looked at Finn briefly, and then was back looking at his guitar. Finn sat down next to Sam and his hand accidently brushed the boy's thigh. He shot up of the bed and was shaking. SHIT. Sam looked petrified; he'd gone pale and looked like he may puke. He stood their shaking like a leaf and quickly took his guitar of his shoulders and leant it against his bed.

"Oh my god Sam, I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

Sam had already sprinted out of the room and locked himself in the bathroom. Dammit, thinks were going well and now because of one stupid little mistake they were back fifty spaces again. He kept wondering why he repulsed the boy so much, it hurt. He wanted everything to be back to the way it was, for Sam to have never have been thrown out. If only he could turn back time, he'd have his brave and strong blonde in front of him instead of a nervous wreck shaking while sobbing in the bathroom. Yes, he was crying Finn could hear him.

* * *

><p>DAMMIT SAM. Why did you flinch and run away? Finn must be so confused, he didn't understand things that were explained to him and Sam couldn't even put his feelings into words let alone explain what happened. He couldn't help but get a flashback, the feel of a hand touching his thigh. It made him want to cry, oh wait he was crying. In fact he was in hysteric, shaking and shivering while tears strolled down his face. He hated his life and himself. He wanted Finn, he wanted to have no had to live through all that, he wanted to just be back to his old self. But how? How?<p>

**There you go chapter 6 done. I'm want to update soon but can't make guarantees :/ but I will update ASAP. Please Review as they make my day. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok So here is chapter 7. I updated quickly because I'm not sure when I'll be able to next.**

**This chapter feels rushed to me but I don't know how else to write it. It felt necessary to pack a lot into it.**

**If I didn't mention before Blaine has moved to ND. **

**Hope You enjoy.**

**Missing Him**

Finn didn't know what to do, Sam had been in the bathroom for at least five minutes and he was pretty sure he heard him being sick. He was now standing outside pondering on whether to knock on the door, knock it down or just leave. He had to see if he was alright, he cared so much about Sam that it pained him to think that he might think he has no one.

"S-Sam…" He said it through the door, he didn't want to shout because then everyone would know something is wrong. "Sam are you ok? I'm sorry ok I didn't mean to…"

Didn't mean to what? Touch him; he'd been fine with touching before. In fact more than fine, they'd done more than just touch. It felt odd having to apologize for touching his boyfriend. It isn't even as though he touched him in a sexual way. He just brushed his hand by his thigh by accident. Was it always going to be this difficult? Sam still hadn't replied.

"Sam…"

Finn heard movement behind the door and the click of a lock. The door however stayed shut. He presumed Sam was inviting him in, or he hoped he was anyway because he opened the door shutting it behind him and locking it again.

Sam was bending over the sink both hands either side of it staring as the water ran. He'd been splashing his face by the looks of it but his face still looked red and his eyes were swollen. He'd been crying, Finn knew this from the sounds but this was confirmation. He walked forward instinctively going to wrap his arms around the boy; he stopped himself before his arms even got halfway. Remember Finn, no touching, he is off limits for now.

He decided instead to tidy up the room. Sam had been sick in the toilet; it hurt to think that his touch had made him do that. He knew it wasn't his actual touch; Finn had suspicions that other things were involved but he didn't know what. He couldn't figure it out, why couldn't he be smart? He'd know what to do and say.

He flushed the toilet and started cleaning up the seat from where Sam had missed slightly when he heard a harsh whisper.

"I'm s-s-sorry…"

He turned to look at him, Sam looked ashamed with himself. Was it because of the sick or because he couldn't even be touched without flinching? Finn didn't know but either way Sam shouldn't feel ashamed he was sure that whatever was wrong was only natural.

"It is fine, nothing that can't be cleaned up." He decided to just ignore the fact Sam freaked about the touch, talking about it wasn't going to be easy plus Finn didn't know what to say. He could just pretend it didn't happen and make Sam feel comfortable around him again. He wanted him to smile again like he did in the bedroom.

Sam turned the tap of and sat down on the bath. Finn finished cleaning and turned to the blonde, it was now that Finn noticed just how little he'd changed. Sam had been showered and fed at hospital but other than the fact he had longer hair and what appeared to be the start of bruises on his face, and possibly elsewhere but he couldn't tell as he hadn't seen Sam in anything but long sleeved stuff, but he looked pretty much the same.

His arms are as built as before and he didn't look much skinnier maybe slightly but hardly any change. It was weird; Finn would have thought that after not being able to eat for two and a half weeks would make him lose weight. But hold on, the hospital said he didn't need much care. That meant he probably had been eating, maybe not normally but at least eating a bit. But how? He couldn't steal; Sam wasn't sneaky enough for starters and would be a prime suspect for theft if they saw him as he would have looked homeless. Which meant he'd brought money? How?

Maybe he stole the money of others, pick pocketed maybe. Finn knew there were pick pockets, -knew that Sam could probably do it. How awful was that? He believed his boyfriend could steal of others. The fact was though Finn knew that desperate measures called for desperate times. Wait that didn't sound right, oh he couldn't think of the saying.

Sam coughed and Finn's head shot up. Both of them had seemed to been thinking about something as they both shook their heads as if to knock themselves out of their own thoughts.

Sam was scratching his arms, the grove where the top half met the bottom. The bit behind the elbow, how was Finn supposed to know what it was called the only thing he listened to in biology was when they learnt about monkeys, because monkeys were awesome. Sam had even won him an orang-utan; Finn called it a ginger monkey because he had no idea how to say the word. Sam laughed at the fact Finn called it gingy.

Why was he scratching there? He kept scratching there and he seemed to be sweaty. Oh dear god, Finn was dumb yes but even he knew a bit about drugs. Did Sam take drugs while he was on the streets? He hadn't when before Finn knew that, Puck had offered them a joint and Sam refused point blank saying that it was disgusting. That wouldn't really explain why he had eaten though but Finn couldn't fit the pieces together. He was sure it was drugs, it'd explain his behaviour right? Right?

He was going to say something when Sam spoke.

"Finn, we should probably get out of here now."

"Oh… Yeah you're right."

Sam opened the door and was walking back to their room. Finn decided that he was going to prove his theory right. It explained so much to him. Over the next few days Finn would watch Sam and see, he would look for the signs.

Finn did just that, he had been watching Sam for two days now. Sam wasn't sleeping very well and looked tired. He spent half the night mumbling in his sleep saying words that didn't make sense. Finn wanted to go and hug him and just spoon for a while. They'd done that before, Sam had this nightmare one time and couldn't sleep so Finn just wrapped his body around him and the two slept like that. Now however, he couldn't do that. Sam still flinched when people touched him.

One night at the table mom accidently brushed her hand against his and he went all stiff. Burt seemed to notice but didn't say anything. Blaine who had also been there noticed as well, he again said nothing but kept glancing at Sam the entire time.

Sam seemed to feel awkward at their house; he hardly spoke when before he'd talk for hours. Mom noticed this more than anyone else because she had always been there when Sam had stayed over while Burt was often at work and Kurt had been at Dalton for a while or was out with Blaine anyway. She tried to make conversation and Finn was glad she did, never once did she ask about what happened. It was always about trivial things like what Sam liked to eat and such. She knew the answers but Finn was sure she was just trying to get him to open up. Good luck with that he'd been trying so hard himself.

Finn kept trying to talk to Sam. He'd get a bit of conversation flowing, not much Sam would often reply with only a sentence or a word. It was frustrating because this wasn't what he was used to, Finn was used to staying up with Sam until 4am just talking and laughing and joking about while occasionally (well often if he is honest) a bit of making out here and there. Now it just felt weird. He wished it didn't.

It was Wednesday and Figgins had said that Sam needed to return to school. He'd been deemed fit by the doctors and was on pain killers. Sam hadn't told anyone why, Carole seemed intrigued by them but didn't question it. He was thankful for that.

School was going to be scary; he hadn't been there since before summer. The glee club would all want to know what happened but how can he tell people if he can't even tell Finn. Mercedes had said that no one in the school knew about Sam's homelessness. She'd come round Tuesday night for Kurt and hers annual bitch-a-thon. She'd said hi to him and tried to act like nothing had happened. He wasn't sure whether he liked this. He wanted people to treat him like normal but he didn't _feel_ normal.

It'd been decided the night before that Finn could take Sam to school. He had no car of his own as his parents couldn't afford it anyway plus they would have taken it with them if he had had one. So here he was sitting in the passenger seat as Finn drove them to school. The taller boy kept shooting glances at Sam to see if he was doing alright. It was sweet that after all Sam had put him through Finn still cared. He hated that he put him through so much pain, he was such a dick.

Finn had put his radio on to get away from the awkward silence. Without realising Sam had started singing along, he forgot about music. It was such a major passion for him. He loved it a lot. Finn was singing too, they both noticed each other at the same time and stopped. They both smiled and it a glimpse from before was back. The way they could just make each other smile with a small glance.

Sam remembered that he hadn't been back for the first day of term. That meant he didn't know any of his classes or anything. As if today wasn't going to be hard enough.

"Finn…"

He made a noise as if to say yeah. He concentrated a lot when he was driving especially when it was busy like it was at the moment. His face was hard with concentration and he kept licking his lips. It was so cute; Sam remembered why he loved this boy so much he was just too adorable for his own god damn good.

"Well I haven't got my timetable or anything."

He pulled a face of confusion or possibly thinking. Often the two intertwined with each other. It was just a part of Finn.

"Urmm… well I could accompany you to the office if you want."

"Since when have you ever used the word accompany?" Despite himself Sam found himself smiling. Then his bag brushed past his leg as they turned a corner. He was back there, those hands on him. He was going pale he could feel it. Darn, even a bag took him back.

Finn seemed to notice and looked worried but suspicious at the same time. Sam wished he could tell him everything but how could he? Finn would be so repulsed by him that he wouldn't ever go near him again, he'd be thrown out and back homeless again. He didn't want that.

The rest of the drive to school was silent. Finn finally pulled up into the car park and got out. Sam stayed sitting for a second. He took a deep breath, this was going to be fine. Mercedes said no one knew outside of glee. That had to be good right? It meant no one could bully him for it or pester him to know what happened.

He grabbed his bag and got out of the car. He noticed Finn was standing waiting for him; he was going to take him to the office then. It was nice to have the strength and support of Finn even if he couldn't cope with the physical side of it; it was just nice to have someone there especially someone who loved him as much as Finn did.

They walked in silence and when they got to the office Sam asked for his timetable. He was sure the woman gave him suspicious looks but maybe that was his imagination. Others also seemed to be giving him odd looks. They knew, they must do. He was pretty sure if Jacob had found out that he would have told everyone.

"Sam it's fine you know. Seriously no one has any idea wha-"

Sam turned around the corner just in time to get a face full of slushie. He had no idea who'd done it but it was awful. The feel of the stickiness on his face made him want to be sick. He could feel the hands again, hear everything again. He wiped the blue slushie from his eyes and turned to Finn. He'd also got slushied but his was red.

"Welcome back Sam."

There was so much sadness in Finn's voice that it made Sam want to just hug him. He couldn't though, he didn't want to go back there. He wasn't only going back there when things or people touched him now he was also having constant flashback nightmares. Not to mention it is all he could think about wherever he was or whatever he was doing. It was becoming his life.

He followed Finn to the bathroom and they both washed of in silence. He'd forgotten to bring spare clothes; he'd forgotten all about the slushies and certainly hadn't expected one five minutes into being back. This was just the start of an awful day he just knew it.

"Here have this." Finn passed him a shirt; it was one of his own. Sam wondered why Finn had brought one of Sam's t-shirts with him. "I knew you'd forget, you have too much on your mind right now to think about that. I brought it just in case."

"Thanks."

He took the shirt and went to take of his own when he remembered the bruises. He couldn't let Finn see them; so far he'd managed fine. He only ever got changed in the bathroom at the house and always slept in long sleeved stuff with long pyjama bottoms that had once belonged to Finn. He used to only sleep in boxer shorts even in the winter but then Finn would see. So he decided to go into a cubicle, Finn looked surprised by this. He obviously hadn't noticed Sam not getting changed in front of him or wearing short sleeves. Luckily, the top Finn had given him also had long sleeves.

Finn was positive Sam had been on drugs while he was on the streets. Probably became part of some drug den or something. You heard about it all the time. This was just another sign, he wouldn't even show his body to Finn. He probably had marks from where he injected. Why couldn't Sam just tell him? He wasn't ashamed of him, it was drugs and they were bad yes but he could help. He would help darn Sam and his stubbornness.

He was in glee club and Sam had been back since Wednesday, today was Friday and still Sam hadn't even let Finn hold his hand. Finn was getting fed up with it. He wanted to touch Sam, just to feel his warmth. He wanted his boyfriend just to speak to him. He wanted _him_. Even talking to Sam would be awesome, he had become more and more distant the last two days. He seemed to constantly have a glazed expression over his face or possibly on the verge of tears. It was heart-breaking and Finn didn't like it at all. Sam shouldn't be like this, he should be happy and jolly. It was Finn's job to make him so and he was failing. What a shit boyfriend he had become, not even able to make the one person he loved happy.

Santana could feel the tension between Finn and Sam. She deliberately sat next to Finn to try and give him support. She knew full well that Finn was confused about everything but she didn't dare voice her thoughts about what happened. It was for Sam to tell. She'd tried talking to the blonde but he seemed to be in a world of his own. As though he was going further and further down into depression. It was saddening.

Finn today seemed different. It had been four days since Sam had been back and still Finn couldn't even get him to speak normally to him. He wanted to know what had happened to him, he even told her so. She understood the frustration but like she kept telling him this WILL take time. He needed to get that, it was important he understood. Yes knowing would help but Sam can't be rushed.

Finn was fidgety, he seemed like he was debating whether to do something or not. This can't be good, she liked Finn she did but he could be a fucking idiot at times and he didn't always think properly. He often got the wrong end of the stick and when he did he'd mess things up big time. Normally he'd be able to fix things but if he made a mistake this time she wasn't sure if Sam or their relationship could be fixed.

Finn wanted to hold Sam's hand it was right there, next to him. The boy looked tired and weary, he was staring off into the distance again. Great more distance between them, he wants him so much it pains to think that Sam isn't even with him when he's sitting right next to him. Maybe touching his hand will bring him back, before it made him flinch but what if it changed and he was suddenly old Sam again. He wanted to know what happened but having Sam back was more important.

He knew this wouldn't work deep down, he knew that Sam would freak but he still did it. He moved his hand and intertwined his fingers into the boy's hand and felt a tingling sensation go through his body. He was so happy to feel those fingers and just feel the simple closeness of hand holding. It didn't last long though Sam jumped and flinched.

He shot up and stared at Finn like he was crazy. Shit, he'd done it again.

Oh holy Fuck Finn, why did you grab his hand? Santana saw him do it but didn't get chance to stop him. She knew what had happened in the hospital and in the bedroom. Finn seemed to need someone to open up to and she was that person. Sam flinched just as Finn had described. It was as if someone had just stabbed him with a hot poker. He shot out of his seat like he was burnt.

The entire glee club noticed. They all turned and were staring at Sam now. He had tears in his eyes and was shaking. It'd been awkward when he first returned she knew this but everyone was walking on egg shells around him.

"Sam…"

Finn had stood up and was moving towards Sam, his arm outstretched again. Santana decided to stop him; she felt that Sam was already starting to break without more triggers of what happened to him. She'd asked her dad about emotional trauma yesterday, he said that some things can trigger people into remembering or having flashbacks. It was called PTSS, post-traumatic stress syndrome or something like that. Sam was probably suffering from it and if her suspicions were right then she understood why.

Finn was now looking at her confused, his eyes watery. He must be so confused his head must hurt. He needed guidance and help both these two did.

"Sam, what happened to you?"

No Finn, don't do this. Sam will tell you, just listen to what everyone is telling you. Santana knew this was going to go bad she could sense it. Sam didn't seem to hear Finn though; he was too lost in his own world.

"SAM!"

This made the entire glee club jump; Sam himself was shocked out of his thought. He was scared and seemed to flinch at the anger. It scared her fragile Sam had become.

Finn was making a scene, he knew that. The entire glee club was watching and it would probably be better to have done this somewhere else but he'd had enough. He was through with waiting. How can he help Sam if he doesn't even know what happened? Why can't Sam admit he was on drugs?

"Sam fucking talk to me."

"F-Finn…"

"Finn don't do this."

"Why not Santana? I want to help him, I want to help you Sam. Just TALK to me."

Sam just opened and closed his mouth a few times as tears started to fall. Finn felt bad he did but if he was going to get Sam to open up tears would be necessary right?

"What happened to you?"

"I-I can't tell you Finn."

"YES YOU CAN!"

"Finn," Kurt had stood up and gone towards him, "maybe you should take this somewhere more private."

"Why? People deserve to know, we all tried to find him, to find you Sam. They all did this for you, for me, for us."

Us. Hold on wait what? Puck finally realised something in that instant. Finn had been an emotional wreck the entire time without Sam and now here he was breaking because Sam wouldn't talk or touch him. He was pretty sure before Sam jumped up Finn had grabbed his hand. The two were fucking dating. Fucking hell Puckerman you can be blind sometimes.

"Finn calm down," Quinn and Blaine had both also stood up and come over, why was everyone telling him to take it elsewhere and calm down? Did they know already? Had Sam told them but not him?

"Why should I? Sam just talk to me."

The blonde was shaking his head. He was crying still, floods of tears staining his face. He was backing away from Finn.

"I KNOW SAM OK!"

The boy's eyes grew huge; he seemed scared and was shocked into stillness. "Y-You can't…"

"I know and I want you to tell me though, I need to know for sure."

"I can't Finn; you'd be sickened by me. Repulsed, you'd throw me out and never speak to me again."

"We'd never do that Sam, Dad and Carole wouldn't no matter what." Kurt seemed to be trying to calm Sam down he'd even stepped forward and gone to touch his arm. Santana had stopped him though, Finn had told her everything.

Finn noticed that he himself was crying. He wanted to go up and hug Sam but couldn't, he wanted to talk to Sam but couldn't, he wanted everything to be back to normal but it couldn't. This was necessary in his mind, to getting back to normal.

"Sam I know that you…"

"FINN!" Santana had turned to him now, her voice full of warning. She knew didn't she, he bet Sam had told her and the stupid bitch had not even thought about Finn. He'd told her everything, all of his emotions and everything he was scared about. Then she just threw it back in his face.

"It isn't anything to be ashamed of, loads of people deal with it."

Santana's face changed, she seemed confused by what he's just said. Why, it was true? Loads dealt with drug problems.

"It's drugs isn't it Sam."

"W-What?"

Sam seemed confused. WHY?

"You took drugs while you were homeless, I know Sam. You don't need to pretend."

Oh god Finn Hudson you moron. Sam didn't take drugs, well he may have done she didn't know but that wasn't the reason. Santana had no idea where he even got the idea from.

Finn walked towards Sam. "Sam we can work through this together yeah."

The blonde still had a confused expression on his face. "Sam…" He reached forwards to touch him but Sam immediately backed away.

"FUCKING HELL SAM I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU!"

"I-I know Finn, I just can't go back there. I can't."

Wait what? "Go back where?" He didn't understand.

"I can't."

"Sam we can get you of the drugs, you never need to touch them again."

"I'M NOT ON DRUGS FINN!"

"Finn, maybe you should take this somewhere else. Calm down a bit and talk about stuff."

"No Quinn, we need to help Sam. He can go into rehab or something."

"I'M NOT ON DRUGS!"

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU SAM?"

"I WAS RENT FINN!"

Sam looked shocked in what he'd just said and sprinted out of the classroom as silence fell across the room. Finn didn't fully understand the term but he was pretty sure it had something to do with being a prostitute. He turned to Santana; she seemed just as shocked as he did. Fuck.

"Sam wait!"

He ran after him, there was more to it he knew it. Plus he couldn't just let his hurt and afraid boyfriend alone. Santana also seemed to be running behind him. Shit, he hadn't meant for Sam to shout it out like that. He didn't know it was that. He didn't know.

"Oh my god!" Kurt was holding his hand to his mouth. He genuinely seemed shocked.

"You could say that again." Mercedes was staring at the door mouth slightly hung open.

The entire glee club were staring at the door from which Sam, Finn and Santana had just run through. Quinn and Blaine both looked at each other, Quinn knew something had happened to Sam. She knew that there was probably more to it than Sam just being a prostitute. The idea sickened her, the fact he had to sell his body to get money. She understood why though, you do what you can to survive. She sort of learnt that when she was pregnant and had been kicked out of her own house.

Mr Schue walked in at that moment and saw his entire club sitting there in a stunned silence. He noticed Sam and Finn were missing, as was Santana. "What happened?"

Quinn turned to him, oh god if only he'd been here when he was meant to none of this would have happened he could have stopped the argument. Silence still filled the room. This had shocked them all except Brittany. She just seemed confused.

"I don't understand, why did Sam have to pay rent he was homeless?"

No one responded, Santana could do it later. At this moment none of them even knew what to say.

**There you go,I felt like I was repeating myself like ninety times so I felt the time was for things to develop a little bit more hence the reason this chapter may feel a little bit like a giant step forward from the last one, I hope it isn't though. I hope you liked it, I tried my best. Please Review, there is LOTS more to come this is NO where near the end and the whole secret isn't even out yet. Anyway I'll update again ASAP. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here is chapter 8. Thank you to EVERYONE whose reviewed, added this to story favourites or alert or even added me to author alert or favourites. That totally takes me by surprise when I get those emails telling me that, I'm like holy shit.**

**Anyway this hasn't been proof read or anything so hopefully there isn't any mistakes and is easy to follow etc.**

**If any mistakes are found do tell so I can correct. **

**Pairings in this are obviously Sinn, there is some Brittana, Tike, some Fuck bromance, Blaine/Brittany friendship (unsure of what their combined name is)**

**So enjoy and review when done please :).**

**Missing Him**

OH FUCK! FUCK! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Why did he have to be such a douche bag? First of all he is a fucking retard for thinking Sam's on drugs and then he basically forced his boyfriend to shout out he was that in front of everyone. Finn was thankful that he knew what the word meant after Rachel had explained it to him last year. The point was now he had to find Sam.

He'd run out of the room and he could hear Santana behind him. Finn had made his boyfriend feel like shit and tell everyone the one thing he probably didn't want anyone to know; god was he THE worst boyfriend in the world. He was such a dickhead. He needed to find Sam, he needed to say he was sorry. To tell him that everything will be fine and that the Glee club wouldn't care or that Finn would always be there.

"FINN."

This boy could run fast, Finn had always known Sam could run pretty fast as he was quicker than Finn during football practice but he was literally know where to be seen. Finn was already outside the school building and looking around the parking lot and he couldn't see him. He could have gone another way but he doubted it as this was the most direct route out from the choir room. He felt a hand grab his upper arm and spin him around. The next thing he knew he was being slapped round the face.

"YOU FUCKING DOUCHE NOZZLE FINN!"

OW. If Finn wasn't so concerned about Sam he would probably have been angrier about the slap but he wasn't. Instead he just burst into tears. He didn't want to cry, he wanted to be strong but his emotions had just built and built until they exploded. He slumped down onto the wall sitting there shaking.

Santana came and sat next to him, she just grabbed his hand again, just like before. This again comforted Finn but the tears kept coming and his breath was erratic while sobs escaped his mouth. Why had he been so stupid? He should have NEVER have confronted Sam in front of EVERYONE, that was just stupid. It would have and did not achieve anything but grief.

"Finn, you really shouldn't have done it like that."

"I-I-I kn-know that San, I fucking know that." He spat out the swear word, he felt sick to his stomach if he could he'd knock himself out. Maybe he could, what would happen if he head-butted the concrete floor.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He must have moved because Santana was giving him a puzzled look and he realised he was in fact leaning forward staring at the ground. He shook his head and turned to her.

"I need to find him Santana, he's an emotional wreck right now because of me. He probably hates me and is scared and hurt and-and…."

"Shut up Finn. I know he needs to be found, but he doesn't hate you and if he does it won't last."

"You don't know tha-"

"I said shut up and listen to me bitch. Sam probably is hurt; in fact he is definitely hurt and all because of you."

Finn turned his head, fuck she was right. He'd hurt him, AGAIN. Maybe he should dump Sam and just leave him. He deserves someone better.

"And before you even say it, no he doesn't deserve better and even if he does he wants you anyway. Plus dumping him would make you more of a prick then you already are, he needs support and comfort not fucking heartbreak."

Wait, is she like psychic or something. No wait, it's not psychic it is tele something, telekinesis? Oh, isn't that where you move stuff. Fuck it, it doesn't matter.

"Finn look at me," she grabbed his chin and turned his face towards hers. "You need to tell him that he can tell you anything, that you will always be there for him and that he can open up when he's prepared too."

"But, what if he doesn't want to speak to me? What if he doesn't even want me anymore?"

"Even if he doesn't you still need to be there for him Finn, you both maybe hurt and confused but he needs you right now."

Finn slowly nodded, she was right he'd be there for him no matter what.

"What happened to him out there Santana? He said he was rent but what does that mean exactly. I mean I know it's like prostitution from what I remember Rachel talking about but-"

"I have no idea Finn." She turned away and looked into the distance, she seemed to be thinking. "It can mean different things for different people I guess, he probably did what he had to so he could survive."

"I hate to think of people touching him, having their filthy disgusting hands on his body."

"FINN." He looked down to see he had been digging his fingers into her hand as he spoke.

"Oh my god, sorry Santana."

"It is fine Finn." She did give him one of her death stares and was slowly rubbing her hand. "I know you don't like it, I get that. If it was Brittany I'd kill every motherfucker out there."

Despite himself Finn smiled. He did like how protective she was over Britt, it was sweet and nice. A side to Santana that was rarely seen by most but he seemed to be seeing it a lot from her.

"I want things back to the way they were San, I want him back."

"They could go back Finn. Not the same, never the same but you can get through this. I _shall_ make sure of it."

"I need to find him." He stood up and noticed Santana had too.

"I know, and we shall. We did before didn't we?"

"Yeah, we're a team right?"

"Yes Finn, now let's find your man before he cries enough tears to fill a fricking lake."

Finn's face dropped back into a frown, he looked like he may cry again. Shit, she meant to have been joking, he obviously thought she was getting at how much he'd hurt Sam.

"I was joking Finn. Now move your ass."

How come she was always helping these two? Why was it her job all of a sudden, she didn't mind because although she wouldn't admit it they had become two people she cared about a lot, just why her?

* * *

><p>This was messed up. Sam had been seriously hurt and Finn hadn't helped matters. She knew the two had been going out. She felt hurt that Quinn and Mercedes both knew before her, she did think she was friends with both of them. If she wasn't then Mike certainly was.<p>

It disgusted her. Not the fact Sam was gay or anything but the fact that dirty men out there, she presumed men because more men used Rent Boys then women, wanted to touch and fuck him. She wouldn't say this out loud as she wouldn't swear because she never did out loud because her mum would have killed her and she doesn't want to get in the habit in case she slips up at home.

She wanted to help them both, and would. Tina turned to Mike and noticed he was still shocked staring at the door like most of the Glee club. She then noticed Mercedes and Kurt looking at each other. They then both turned to her, in just one look all three seemed to understand, they were all fine with this. Not fine as in 'oh yay Sam slept with people for money' but as in they weren't going to hold this against him.

"Where are Santana and Finn? And for that matter where is Sam?"

It was only now that Tina really noticed Mr Schue had entered the room. She'd heard him before but not really registered what he'd said or who it was. It seems like he always misses the drama, or maybe it's just her imagining him always missing it. She wasn't sure.

"I don't even know how to say it Mr Schue." Kurt had turned to him; he genuinely seemed lost for words, that was something she never thought was possible.

"It isn't really for us to say is it? It's not even as though Sam wanted to tell us all in the first place. They couldn't even tell some of us that they were together." Tina was slightly shocked by the hurt in Mike's voice; he was obviously cut up about that. Sure, he wasn't as close to Sam and Finn as Kurt for example but she knew he classed them as two of his closest friends.

"What's going on?"

"Mike's right Mr Schue I don't think it is our right to tell you."

"But Quinn I need to understand, maybe I can help."

"Yeah well no offense Mr Schue maybe if you turned up on time none of this would have fucking happened."

WOW. Tina had _never_ heard Quinn swear and was shocked by the anger in her voice.

"We can't blame Mr Schue for this Quinn." Rachel had got up from her seat and walked over to her. "It isn't his fault; it is no one's fault."

"I still don't understand, what did Sam have to do with his rent?"

"Brittany shut up." Tina felt sorry for her, sure Brittany could be very annoying with her stupidity but she meant well genuinely.

"But Sam's a frog he doesn't need to pay rent."

"Wait, what?" She had to respond to that, I mean seriously she thought Sam was a frog.

"I'll explain later." Blaine had walked up to Brittany and seemed to be trying to explain something to her; he obviously felt he had to with the lack of Santana being here.

"I feel sick." Tina got that, she did. Mercedes was right, the thought of Sam being like that was sickening.

"Why?" Puck's voice was barely audible, he seemed to be thinking a lot and it was the first time he'd spoken. He obviously still cared a lot about Finn, they all knew he wanted his best friend back and he'd always got along really well with Sam. Now however, he was shooting evil laser glares at Mercedes.

"Not in a homophobic, ewww Sam's gay way Puck. The idea of him having to do that is horrible."

"Well you do what you have to do to survive don't you."

"She's not disputing that Puck, I get it. I really do, all I'm saying is I can't believe it got to the stage that Sam had to do that just to get money. That's what makes me sick, the fact none of us even really gave a shit and just got on with our lives while Sam had to deal with some dirty pervert paying to get with him."

"WHAT?"

Oh crap, Tina hadn't meant to say that in front of Mr Schue. He seemed to have understood what she said straight away, which was good because explaining wasn't necessary or easy.

"Where is Sam now?"

"We don't know, Finn and Santana ran after him. He ran away after he blurted it out. Also, Tina we don't know what happened exactly, we shouldn't speculate until we know the facts."

"If I'm honest Kurt, do we really want to know the facts?"

Silence filled the room after Artie's question. It was a good point, did any of them really want to know what happened? Would they be able to see Sam in the same way again or get the images out of their heads? It was bad enough when it was their imaginations making the images let alone when they knew exactly what had happened.

"Look, the point is we need to be here for Sam. None of us are going to turn our backs on him right?" Blaine had seemed to calm Brittany down after her confusion panic, although she still seemed pretty confused and Tina still had no idea where the frog thing came from.

"Fucking hell yes, I'm here for him and if any of you even say one fucking thing to him or abandon him or Finn because you are frickin' homophobic or just a douche fucker then I shall kill you." Tina had to admit it was probably the nicest thing Puck had said in front of her, to immediately defend Sam like that was cool.

"None of us will abandon him Puck, plus how could I be homophobic? I'm the biggest gay person I know, I'm pretty sure you knew that or you wouldn't have thrown me into dumpsters a couple of years ago."

Puck knew Kurt was right; none of them would abandon Sam. He couldn't believe that Finn hadn't felt comfortable enough to tell him he was with Sam. He thought they were getting close to being bros again, being like they were before. He cared for the guy, both the guys. He couldn't help it, he'd known Finn since he was little.

He'd known something was going on between them, and the idea of them together was sort of cool. He knew Finn cared for Sam; his breakdown when the blonde was missing was evidence enough. That didn't soften the blow of knowing he couldn't be told. I guess Puck had to admit, he'd never exactly came across as someone who liked gays. After all he'd bullied Kurt for being a presumed gay a couple of years ago. Finn was probably scared that Puck would just punch him or something.

He knew that something was wrong with Sam. He'd had noticed a definite change in the boy. He hadn't thought drugs like Finn though; he'd presumed something like rape. He guessed that if the guys Sam served were forceful enough and Sam didn't want it then this could have developed or be classed as rape. He wasn't sure. Either way he felt sympathy for the dude. Why hadn't he just came and lived with one of them? None of this would have happened; it wasn't shameful to be kicked out of your house. He had been many times, not for long though normally only a night. He got it, he did. He just wished Sam hadn't needed to do that.

* * *

><p>He couldn't believe he'd said that, in front of the entire glee club as well. FUCK!<p>

He had no idea where Finn got the drugs thing from. Sure he remembered drugs being involved like once or twice but it wasn't anything important, it wasn't the worst thing about it. He was scared, petrified in fact. Finn wouldn't want him now he knew what a fucking whore he was. He would be disgusted by his presence.

He could feel the tears fall down his face still, the salty taste touched his lips and he was back there again. GREAT, now he can't even cry without going back. It was fucking horrid, he didn't want to relive but couldn't stop.

What were the others going to think? He was going to have to leave the Hudmels house for sure; they wouldn't want some hooker living with them. Admittedly, he was _never _going to do that again as long as he had a say in it but he knew they wouldn't want someone as vile as him living under their roof.

He didn't know where he'd go, maybe he could hitch-hike to Tennessee or something. Go live with his cousins, unless his Dad has already told them not to. He was so screwed, why'd he have to be gay? Why'd he have to fall in fucking love with that idiot? He wished he could go back and change it all, make himself not get with Finn. But the fact was nobody ever made him happier. No one.

The whole school were going to know now, he just knew it. He'd like to think the glee club wouldn't tell anyone but how could he know? Jacob would probably find out, put it on his blog and then he'd be beaten for being a prostitute. He'd need to move schools as well now. His life was over; he may as well not be here. He just wished he was dead, he didn't deserve life. Sam didn't want to live.

**So there you go, Please review :).**


	9. Chapter 9

**So here is chapter 9.**

**I wrote it over two days while all the other chapters are written in one session each. Hopefully that hasn't affected it.**

**I am unsure when I'll next update hence the reason why I've updated twice in a short space of time.**

**Please Review as they make me smile :D.**

**Missing Him (btw I was wondering whether to change the name of the story as eventually it'll only really apply to the first few chapters, I'd like to know your thought PM me or Review with advice and suggestions on whether to change it and if so what to :D)**

Santana took Finn too the place she knew Sam would be. She'd guessed it was where he'd go the moment they'd ran out of the school building. She took the long route to give Sam chance to get there. She knew full well these two needed to talk and she'd let them, but if either needed her she'd be there. She had been so far and she wouldn't let that stop.

She pulled up outside the park and Finn finally looked at her. He'd spent the last half an hour looking out the window turning his head this way and that looking for Sam. She hadn't told him where they were going because he knew it anyway he just didn't realise he knew.

"Santana, why have you stopped?"

"Look where we are Finn."

He looked out towards the park entrance, through it you could see majority of the park. There was a play area to the right and in the distance was a huge pond which had an island in the middle full of trees, their branches hung over the pond casting the entire pond and light coloured walkways around it in shade. Under the shade of a pink blossom tree which was slowly losing its petals was a bench. Even from this distance Santana knew Finn could see Sam. He was sitting on their bench.

It'd become their bench at the beginning of the summer. Sam and Finn had kissed and the blonde panicked and ran off. It was under that tree that the two talked and realised their feelings for each other. It was all pretty mushy and disgusting and extremely girly for two guys. Santana would never be like that with Brittany, even though they'd had a similar moment on a swing seat at her grandparents but that wasn't the same. She wasn't as soft as these two pansies.

"How'd…"

"Oh please, where else would he have gone doofus?"

His face cracked into a smile, a big one at that. The stupid idiot, a place made him so happy for no reason. Well she guessed it wasn't the place more the person associated with it. He seemed anxious now though. He kept licking his lips and blinking a lot, she didn't blame him he'd basically just made his boyfriend feel like shit and now he was going to try to talk to him. He probably was worried about what he was going to say and all that.

"Maybe I should just leave him for now, come back later."

"No Finn get out of my car and go speak to him before I throw you out and drag you there and when I get there I shall then decide whether to let you speak or drown you in the pond. Got it?"

Finn's eye grew wide as her eyebrow raised. She was deadly serious, this boy needed to grow a pair right this second or she'd grow them for him.

Quickly he scrambled out of the car and started walking rather slowly towards Sam. He kept rubbing the side or back of his legs nervously or scratching the back of his neck. She got the nerves she did and it may seem harsh to be a bit mean to him but he needed this. He needed a kick up the ass so that he could do or say what was necessary.

What was he going to say? He had no idea, honestly none. He guessed he'd just open his mouth and prayer the words come out right. He was thankful it was sunny; it'd have sucked if it was raining right now. Didn't help his nerves though, he could feel himself starting to sweat. The mixture of heat and nerves were making his palms sweaty and his forehead moist.

He was slowly strolling past the playground area. He remembered when they'd gone on the swings and he couldn't fit and fell off the other side. Sam's laugh went on for ages, Finn hadn't minded though admittedly he was embarrassed but Sam's laugh was just infectious and sort of beautiful. He missed those times, when all this angst (yeah another word he's learnt from Kurt, the boy was like a dictionary) was behind them and they were just them. Comfortable, safe, amazing. He just hoped that they could get back there but he wasn't sure. He didn't know.

He looked back over his shoulder to see Santana buying a drink from the stand near the entrance. She'd been great, more than great. She had been in this from the beginning and was still there no matter how frustrating he'd been. He thanked her for that; he wished he could show his thanks. He needed to also thank her for finding Sam; it was because of her after all. She'd put the wheels in motion or whatever the saying is. She deserved a lot of credit for everything.

She noticed him and nodded. He knew he had to do this; he had to talk to Sam. Get him to realise that he still wanted him even though he'd had to do what he did. He needed Sam and nothing; he means nothing was going to change that. He licked his lips and walked towards the bench. He could see it more clearly than back at the car, Sam was definitely there. No mistaking his blonde hair. He was hunched over in a ball on the seat, his knees tucked up to his chin with his hands wrapped around them. He was staring straight at the ground not too far ahead and didn't even bother to brush the cherry blossom petals of himself. He looked sort of beautifully innocent and spectacular, the sort of things you read in those sappy romantic novels that Kurt would often quote.

Finn was unsure what to say, how could he announce he was here? No matter which way he thought of it seemed incredibly formal which wouldn't have made sense or incredibly awkward which this was going to be anyway and he didn't want to add to it. So instead he decided to just sit next to Sam, leaving enough space so physical contact was easily avoidable but close enough so Sam knew of his presence.

At first Sam didn't even acknowledge that Finn had even sat down, he seemed to focused on his thoughts. It was several minutes before Sam noticed because Finn moved his leg slightly over one of the many fallen petals. He gasped and his head snapped upwards towards the taller boy. His eyes grew and he gasped.

"Finn." His voice was so small, it was so striking and yet awful to hear. Finn couldn't explain how it made him feel.

"Sam." The two just stared at each other for what felt like forever. Finn loved Sam's eyes they were this green colour that just put Finn in a trance as he stared into them. It's like you could see the whole Sam when you looked into them, you could see his emotions. The pain and hurt in them at this moment was heart-wrenching.

The silence was neither awkward nor nice. It was just silence. The petals kept falling down onto them and Finn saw one land on Sam's eyelashes, he went to pick it off and brush them out of his hair but stopped with his hand half way there, he didn't want to freak him out. This had to be the start of them getting back on track not just a continuing loop of touching and then flinching followed by tears. He still didn't understand the flinching, he knew what Sam had done to survive now but was there more too it? He wanted to know, and it hurt his brain to try to figure it out on his own but how could he ask? He didn't want to ask.

Sam picked it off himself and turned away from Finn. He started rocking still in the ball shape from before.

"Sam, I'm sorry I didn't want you to have to tell me like that. I didn't mean for it to all go like that."

"You don't need to apologise Finn. I should to you."

"Why? You've done nothing wrong, I shouted at you and forced you to admit to me what happened in front of everyone. It was such a prickish move, I'm so sorry Sam."

"No Finn, I'm sorry. I'm a disgrace, a disgusting fucking man whore who doesn't deserve you. How can you even bare to look at me? I must make you want to be sick."

"What? Is that really what you think?" How could he think that, was that why he hadn't opened up to him?

"Yes and it's not what I think it is what I know, and you don't even know everything anyway. You'd be even more disgusted by me, I make myself feel sick. I'd want to kill me and get rid of the dirty grimy slag if I was you. De-associate myself from me. Destroy all ties."

"Sam don't, just don't. Don't call yourself a man whore or a slag, you aren't dirty or disgusting. I would never see you as that."

"WELL YOU SHOULD." His rocking was getting faster and tears were starting to stream down his pale cheeks. He hadn't been this pale during the summer, maybe it was from the fact that he'd probably tried to hide during the day from people's disapproving stares.

"Sam, look at me." The boy just continued looking forward. "LOOK AT ME SAM."

A couple of parents looked over from the playground, he didn't care though. They could stare all they liked he needed to get this in Sam's head. He slowly turned his face towards Finn.

"Sam, I love you. Nga yawne lu oer. You taught me that Sam, and I shall never ever forget it because it is exactly what I mean. I _love_ you, no matter what. You got that?"

Sam just stared at him, Finn needed for Sam to realise this. He had too.

"Sam I want you to be able to tell me everything. I need you to, I want to help you. I would never abandon you, ever. I would never even dream about killing you so get that thought out of your head. Why would I even think about not being with you? When you weren't here I was nothing, I had no purpose, no strength. I was a wreck Sam and it is all because I didn't have _you_."

Finn wasn't sure where that came from but he knew he meant every word. It was all true, he was nothing without Sam. Nothing. Tears continued to pour down Sam's face as he turned away and looked back to the ground.

"I can't Finn, I want to tell you I do. But how can I? If you know you wouldn't want to be near me, you wouldn't want to ever see me again. My life would be over." His bottom lip was quivering and Finn wanted to do nothing more but grab his chin and kiss him so hard that he understood how much that he was there for him but he couldn't, not until Sam was better. Not until Sam was over this.

"You need to know Sam, I'm here for you. No matter what you tell me I shan't leave you. I promise, I swear on my life. I swear on my god damn 'Braveheart' DVD."

Sam smiled at this, it wasn't a proper smile. Not the usual Sam smile bit still a small smile was progress right? Well it was until Sam started shaking his head and his crying increased. This time mixed with big sobs and his rocking started again. He buried his head into his hands and started mumbling.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Finn wanted so much to hug him and hold him close but he couldn't. It was so frustrating, this was frustrating.

"Sam, you have nothing to be sorry for seriously."

The boy didn't seem to hear him he kept rocking saying the same thing. Finn decided it was best to just wait for Sam to calm down, if he'd been able to touch him he'd have held him and comforted him but he couldn't so instead he'd be patient. It took a while but eventually Sam did stop. He looked tired, exhausted even. His eyes were red from the tears.

"Come on Sam, let's go home."

"You mean I'm still living with you?" His voice was hoarse.

"Of course," Finn was slightly bewildered by the question at first then remembered Sam though that Finn found him disgusting. "Why wouldn't you be? You're my boyfriend and I won't let you go."

Sam nodded slowly, not entirely convinced but that wasn't the aim. At the moment Finn was just happy to get Sam moving. He could ask Santana or Kurt or Blaine maybe about what to do. They might be able to help, he hoped.

Finn stood and waited for Sam to stand as well. He stood shakily, probably from sitting in a ball shape for so long, he'd gone stiff. They walked back towards Santana's car. Sam slightly behind Finn, he wanted to hold hands but he still knew he'd need to wait. Time was what Santana had said. Time.

**There you go, please review about the chapter and story so far. It'd be awesome. Plus I really want feedback about the title, it is something I've always been unsure about and it'd be so helpful to hear or read in this case your feedback, advice and suggestions. :) **


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok so I wrote this over 3 days so I have NO idea what it is like. The last part is slightly rushed and I wrote it half asleep so it is probably rubbish.**

**Sorry for taking so long to update, I kept starting to and then getting writers block.**

**So here is chapter 10. Review at the end please. As only like two people told me about the title and said they liked it, Missing Him shall stay the same for now :).**

**I've edited this slightly since the first time I uploaded it, not much like a few sentences have been added towards the end. Mainly involving Burt so you can reread if you wish, if not it isn't important I guess. :D**

**Missing Him**

Santana decided it was best not to ask anything when Finn and Sam first got back into the car. Sam got in the back and Finn went to get in the front until she gave him a slightly shake of the head and he got in the back as well. She knew Sam would need Finn, and his presence would just help the guy. Plus it'd have felt odd to have Sam in the back and them in the front, like they were his parents taking him back or something. It didn't feel appropriate.

The car was silent the whole was back, Sam looked as though he'd been crying but he was still now, silent. Finn kept giving him quick nervous but caring glances the entire ride home. She'd have asked then what happened but knew Finn would probably tell her later or tomorrow anyway, she could wait.

She slowly pulled the car up outside the Hudmel house and turned around in her seat. Finn didn't know what to do and looked worried as Sam hadn't even seemed to notice that the car had stopped or that he was even really there with them. She looked at Finn and he was giving her a panicked stare, she mouthed "speak to him".

The boy immediately shook his head and mouthed back. _"No, what do I even say?" (mouthing is in italics)_

Fucking hell Finn. _"Just tell him you're home or something."_

He licked his lips and looked at Sam again. _"Finn just fucking talk to him."_

"S-Sam, we're home."

The blonde boy jumped slightly at the noise, it'd been so quiet in the care that Sam probably got distracted enough to be wrapped up in his own thoughts. Probably not the best place for him right now, Santana thought. He glanced at Santana, she gave him a small smile which he returned. It was a smile but sadness and something Santana presumed was anxiety was in his eyes. He was probably anxious of what she thought about him doing what he did.

Finn got out the car and at the sound of the door shutting Sam did the same. As the blonde started walking towards the house door, Finn came to Santana's window.

"Thank you San."

"Finn you don't need to say thank you, you know I'll help."

"I know," he smiled lightly. "I still feel I have to, you've been so great Santana and to think not to long ago I was slightly scared of you."

"Well, I am the queen bitch around here. "

"That's the thing though San, you think you are and you give of the impression you are but you're not. What you've done for me and Sam is proof. You are an amazing and kind person really."

She hated to think it but what Finn said made her glow slightly inside. The dumb bastard.

"Look Finn, I should probably go and Sam is waiting." She looked over Finn's shoulder to see Sam hovering at the bottom of the steps up to the porch; he kept glancing at them nervously. He probably didn't want to go in on his own.

Finn also looked over at Sam. "Yeah you're right. God what do I say?"

"I don't know Finn, you've just got to keep trying and battling through. Bit by bit you're getting the barriers down. It takes time, after all how long have you known me for and how long has it taken you to get to know the real me?"

He nodded his head and turned to walk away.

"Oh and Finn, remember I'm here whenever. Also, when you're ready feel free to tell me everything I'm always here for you. No matter how odd it may seem that you can trust me."

"Thanks, and yeah it would have been odd but now not so much."

They both smiled at each other and then she put her car into drive and slowly pulled away as Finn started walking towards Sam.

* * *

><p>Finn didn't know what to say when he got to Sam. He decided it was probably best to say nothing at all and just smile at him and then walk to the door. So he did, Sam however didn't move. Finn turned back round, standing in the doorway. Sam looked slightly petrified, on edge even. He didn't understand why.<p>

"Sam, aren't you coming?"

Sam looked up; tears were still slightly visible in his eyes. Finn wanted to tell him not to cry but he couldn't. He knew that'd just make Sam feel ashamed that he was such a wreck, Finn felt the same while Sam was missing.

"Sam, we want you here. I want you here; in fact I need you here."

He reached out his hand to Sam, offering it to him to hold. Sam however looked at it and then at Finn's face panic again stricken across his beautiful face, it made Sam look so young and this just made Finn realise that his Sam still wasn't back. He realised he never would be, that Sam will always be slightly different but they can work through it and come out better at the other end. He would make sure of it.

"It's ok; you don't have to touch me or anyone. Just come inside, please." He'd decided he wouldn't take it personally anymore; Sam wasn't in his right frame of mind or something like that. He was damaged, a broken Sam, a shattered Sam. It was up to Finn to pick the pieces up and glue them back together, bit by bit no matter how long it takes or how hard it is. He was determined.

Sam looked at Finn and stood for a second before walking towards him, Finn could tell he wanted to hold his hand but just couldn't bring himself to do it. It didn't hurt, if anything it made him even more willing to help.

Once in the hall Finn shouted to his mom that they were home and he walked up to his room followed very slowly by Sam.

"F-Finn."

They'd just got into their room and Finn turned round to see Sam standing in the door way.

"Yeah."

"I-I-I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything, you don't deserve me Finn." His head turned to the floor again and Sam was sinking back into himself. Damn, Finn thought he'd got Sam to open up just a little in the park. This was like a never ending battle. He just wished he knew what to do next.

"Sam, you do deserve me, you deserve the world. You're special to me Sam, you always will be no matter what."

"But how can you even think about me with wanting to just spit on me with disgust Finn?"

Sam had started crying again; Finn didn't know what to say.

"Sam we've been through this, I am not and never will be disgusted by you."

"WELL YOU SHOULD FINN!"

"Why?" He refused to shout, it got them nowhere before and he needed to keep calm. Sam couldn't feel like he couldn't tell him things, if he needed someone who he could just take his hurt and anger out on then Finn was there.

"BECAUSE I'M A DIRTY FUCKING WHORE FINN!"

Those words did hit Finn like daggers, his boyfriend had been a whore. That was hard to think about, horrible to think about but he cannot and will not let Sam know that he is affected by them.

"So, why should that change my feelings towards you?"

"Well why wouldn't it Finn?" Sam almost snarled those words at Finn, it took him by surprise how angry Sam was getting at him. "You should hate me, I've brought nothing but pain to you and now I bring you shame. You shouldn't want me Finn, I don't want you too. I want you to have someone you can be proud of." Tears began to fall down Sam's face in big streams now, the anger had subsided (it wasn't the most appropriate thing to think but Finn couldn't help but want to cheer for using another one of the words Rachel had tried teaching him last year) slightly and had been replaced by a bit of deep depression. Fuck.

"Sam, look at me." He walked forward, originally aiming to cup his face in his hands but instead deciding on just standing in front of him, giving Sam the option to touch if he wants. Sam reluctantly raised his eyes so his beautiful hazel, glimmering eyes looked directly into his own. "I love you, and I don't just want you, I need you. I can't function properly otherwise. I will never be ashamed or embarrassed of you. You make me happy, I wake up and think of you and a great big smile comes on my face that probably makes me look like a goofy dork and I couldn't care less because I have you. Sam this entire summer has been the best of my life because of all the happy memories I've had with you. You make me proud, prouder than anyone can ever imagine. You are so brave Sam, you may not feel so now but you are and you have the strength inside you to be."

Sam just stared into Finn's eyes. Finn saw something flash across Sam's face, it seemed like happiness. Genuine, sweet happiness. Something that Sam probably hadn't felt in a while. The emotion was quickly gone though as Sam staggered backwards slightly and grabbed on the chair. He looked exhausted, Finn didn't blame him. His physical strength still wasn't what it was before and he'd walked a very long way from the school to the park, that on top of a huge lack of sleeping and not eating has made him slightly weak.

"Sam, how about you go to bed? I'll get mom to make you some food and you can eat it later, you look tired."

"Don't fuss over me Finn." Sam protested but still got up and walked towards his bed in a slight daze. He really was tired.

"I'm allowed, you're my boyfriend."

Sam's head turned towards Finn at this, he went to say something but instead just stared. Shaking his head the blonde crawled into his bed and hid under the covers. His back to the door, Finn wished he could just go up behind him and snuggle into his back and wrap his arms around him.

Finn slowly backed into the hallway as Sam's slightly heavy breathing started straight away; it was good to hear him sleep. Hopefully it'd be soundless and not full of nightmares like his nights are.

* * *

><p>Finn walked back downstairs and sat on the bottom step and felt like he wanted to scream. He had so many emotions at the surface he was surprised he didn't just burst. He wanted to scream from frustration, smash things with his anger and just cry. Cry until tears wouldn't come any more, cry out his heartache. So he did, the emotions started pouring down his face as sat huddled on the bottom step of the stairs looking like he was five.<p>

Carole had heard some of the arguments from upstairs. He heard what Sam had called himself, she didn't know why he said it but at the moment it didn't matter. Her son was an emotional wreck and needed her.

"Finn honey."

Finn just shook his head and cried into his crossed arms which were now resting on his knees. It made her cry to think her baby was in this state, it had hurt so much to see him when Sam was gone. It killed her to see him like that, like this.

"Finn, baby." She knelt down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He may be a lot bigger than her but she could still take care of him. It was like he was little again. "Come on."

She forced him to stand up and walked him outside into the back yard. She sat him down on the swing bench that Burt had kept from their old place; it didn't swing though because Finn had fell on it once so they just keep it as a bench. She sat him down like she was his carer or something. He looked lost and just sat there staring at the ground.

"Finn, tell me what's going on. I'm not going to force you to; I just want you to confide stuff in me. I'm your mom Finn, you can tell me anything. _Anything_."

He turned to her; he licked his lips and blinked. He seemed confused, debating with himself whether or not he should say something.

"I don't even know where to start mom." His face screwed up and he started crying again, she pulled him towards her and hugged him into her chest.

"Shhh, its ok Finn."

She felt him shake his head in her arms. "It isn't though mom."

He sniffed and pulled away and looked at her. "I have no idea what to do."

"Maybe I could help Finn."

He looked away and around, again licking his lips. "I don't even know how to tell you."

"You don't have to Finn." She put her hand on his cheeks and wiped away some of his tears. "Just know that I'm here for you, I always will be honey."

He just looked at her for a second. "It's Sam."

"I sort of guessed that Finn, I heard you."

His eyes grew wide. "So you already know?"

"No Finn, I heard you shouting. All I heard was disconnected words, nothing that I could put together."

"Oh," he looked slightly disappointed. Maybe he though if she already knew he'd feel less awkward. "Well urmmm, since Sam's been back things haven't been right."

"Go on."

He licked his lips. "Well Sam's not been himself, you've noticed right. He flinches every time someone touches him, he won't talk, he isn't eating properly, and he barely sleeps the whole night because he is shouting or screaming in his sleep. You had to have noticed?"

"I noticed Finn." She had, she'd talked to Burt about it. They'd decided that if it continued they'd talk to him about it. "Is that the problem?"

"Not really, well part of it." He looked down again. "He told me what happened to him out there."

"He did?" She held his hand to show that he could tell her if he wanted. She had wondered what happened to Sam while he was on the streets.

Finn nodded, "Yeah, he did. But I don't know if I can tell you mom. I don't want to change your view of him."

"Why would it change how I see him?" She was confused, she had no idea what had happened and what Finn was saying wasn't helping. It made her wonder even more and made her concerned.

"He thinks that it'll make everyone see him differently."

"Everyone?"

"Yeah, we sort of had," he sniffed again, "an argument during Glee club. He shouted it out and ran off, that's why we were late home. Santana and I had to find him."

"So everyone in the club knows."

He nodded again.

"What exactly is it Finn?"

He looked at her and looked everywhere around her. "I-I don't know how to say it. He… he made money while on the streets by urmm using certain things."

Finn's voice grew quiet when he finished. She still didn't understand, he'd told her nothing really. "Finn I don't really know what you're saying."

"He-he was a-a-a rent boy mom."

Silence filled the air after Finn's words. He looked down at the floor and wouldn't look at her. God, Sam was a rent boy. She didn't swear, but holy fuck. She couldn't believe he had to go through that, her motherly instincts were wanting her to run up to him and just hug him to death and protect him.

"Don't tell anyone mom. Please, he's ashamed of it. He feels disgusted by it and thinks we'll throw him out." Finn's words brought her out of her own world.

"We aren't throwing him out Finn. He's part of this house now as far as I'm concerned; I've grown to care for him over the summer. Like a third son."

"That'd make things totally awkward."

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

She wasn't sure what Finn but that wasn't the point at the moment. "I wouldn't tell anyone either Finn. I couldn't. He shouldn't feel ashamed either, I understand why he does but he did what he must right?"

"Yes, I've been telling him that but he doesn't listen. It's like he's on constant paranoid alert. That's what we were arguing about he said we'd throw him out and that I deserve better and not a w-whore for a boyfriend. It's for me to decide not him."

Finn said his mini rant so fast he scared himself. His eyes grew wide and he turned to look at his mom. .SHIT. He'd just told her. FUCK!

Carole, wasn't sure if she'd heard right at first. Finn had definitely said boyfriend, not just friend but _boyfriend_.

"Finn have you got something to tell me?"

"Oh god." Finn was breathing heavily, in a panicked sort of way. He looked petrified.

"Finn are you gay?" She never thought she'd say the words. Finn had always given the impression he was only into girls, he'd been so obsessed over Rachel and Quinn. She was slightly confused and yet his reactions, what he said it made so much make sense. The way Finn acted around Sam during the summer, she'd thought they'd become better than best friends. Obviously it was a lot more than that.

"Mom… I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Finn if you're gay you have nothing, _nothing_ to be sorry about." She needed to let him know that, he must. Admittedly this is all a little overwhelming but he is still her son. He looked down and tears had formed in his eyes.

"How long have you known Finn?"

"I don't know if I'm gay gay. I loved Rachel and Quinn. I still find girls attractive even, but when I'm with Sam it is different. I feel different, I look at him and I just can't think of anyone else." A small smile appeared on his face, it was sweet. She finally realised why Finn had reacted how he had when Sam was missing. She'd had her suspicions then, she knew she just didn't realise.

"Wow, I really am blind."

"What?"

"I knew Finn, I just never realised. So you and Sam?"

"We started seeing each other before summer, it just sort of happened and some of the others found out like Santana and Kurt and then Rachel, Mercedes, Blaine even Quinn did. They were fine with it, they encouraged it even."

"You've been going out all summer?"

He nodded. Jesus, she really did need to learn to pay attention.

"Y-You don't mind that I'm g-gay?"

He looked worried; like that her answer could either make or break him. How could he even ask that?

"Of course I am Finn. If I wasn't I'd be a hypocrite as I love Kurt so much. I don't care what you are Finn, as long as you are happy that is all that matters." She was a little hurt that he hadn't told her sooner, plus she had to admit she'd dreamt of being a grandmother. Those dreams were just dreams though, plus there were things such as surrogates etc. It wasn't the end of that dream, not that Finn would even think about that yet, he'd probably just freak.

Finn smiled. "You mean that?"

"Of course I do Finn. I'm your mother and I love you, no matter what ok."

"Ok." He nodded in that slightly dopey way that made him look slightly infantile in his own charming way. She was so proud of him, he'd grown into such an amazing person, he really had.

"Finn, with Sam it'll take time ok. Maybe we could get him some help, a councillor maybe?"

"I'm not sure if he'd want that, he hates talking to people like that."

"That's ok, just make sure he knows that we're here for him yeah. The whole family."

Finn nodded. "Are you going to tell Burt?"

She considered this for a moment, "I sort of have to Finn. Sam's living in his house and he'll be the only one not to know. He might sense something is not right. But you know Burt Finn; he won't do anything to Sam. But honestly Finn, I think it'd be better if you told Burt. You are his son now, his stepson yes, but still his son. He cares about you and I think he may be hurt if he doesn't hear it from you."

"W-what?" Finn's eye widened at that prospect, he was probably remembering the 'faggy' comments in their old house when Burt shouted at him. Finn was still scared slightly of Burt because of that and seemed to have been trying to make it up to him. The point was though; Burt wouldn't hold that against Finn still, he'd moved on from that. The fact Finn is gay won't make him wonder why he said it. Burt's not like that.

"Finn, Burt's is great. He'll be proud of you and want to help. Look how he is with Kurt. You can trust him."

"Yeah, you're right." He still didn't look convinced.

"I know, but remember Finn I'm here for you whenever you need me. Just talk to Burt ok, I promise it'll be fine."

He smiled again, a small one but it was there. "Thanks mom, you really are the best mom ever."

"I don't know about the best." She chuckled slightly, it wasn't the first time she'd be called the best mom ever or awesome. For some reason Finn's friends often said it. She didn't exactly understand what she did but hey a woman her age takes all the compliments she can get.

Finn hugged her, so much love and warmth on the hug it was overwhelming. She wished she could take the pain away for him, for both of them. She'd have to talk to Burt about all this; (once Finn had told him of course, she didn't believe in outing) she had no idea of how to help them. None.

**So there you go there is chapter 10. Reviews would be awesome.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok so here is chapter 11 :). I changed the ending of chapter 10 slightly. Still not 100% happy with it but I don't know how to make it any better so hopefully this makes up for it :).**

**If you don't want to reread chapter 10 after I changed it, basically the only thing that changed is Carole told Finn to tell Burt himself rather than her telling him. I think that was the only parts I changed really.**

**Anyway here is Burt and Finn stuff. Father/Stepson relationship. Hope I did it justice. Some parts took me forever to phrase well without it sounding rushed, vulgar or unsuitable for the situation. I mean I have rated it M but it doesn't mean I'm going to lose characterisation and have people use lots of words which would just be odd to use when talking about someone you care about with your stepfather. Anyway hope you enjoy and review at the end would be great :).**

**Missing Him**

Sam was still asleep when Burt got home, or Finn presumed he was. Either way when Finn went in a few hours after leaving him in there room to put some food next to his bed he was laying on his side breathing slightly heavily. He didn't always snore so this could have been normal sleep. Finn didn't know, should he know? He is his boyfriend, maybe he should know exactly how he sleeps and whether he is faking or not.

Burt had been home for about an hour now, Finn was nervous. He hadn't wanted to tell his mom but felt guilty that she didn't know. That she'd cared for him since he was born and he was keeping such a big secret from her, it didn't feel right. It hadn't done since the beginning; he was just worried how she'd react is all. He knew she wanted grandchildren and stuff so he'd been worried she may feel disappointed that she had a gay son. Was he gay? He wasn't sure, he still found girls attractive. He'd had conversations with Sam about girls even after they'd started going out, and yet he couldn't help but be mesmerized by Sam. So what did that make him? Bisexual? Bi-curious? What? He didn't get this label stuff, he decided then that he'd just go with what Santana said and won't let people label him. Why'd he need a label anyway, he already had one it was Finn. Well it's his name but names are labels, right?

It was while Finn was absorbed in his own thought while sitting at the island in the kitchen that Burt actually came up to him. That he heard Burt in the living room.

"Where's Sam I haven't seen him and he's usually down here?"

"Oh, urmm Finn let him sleep. He was tired; you know he hasn't been sleeping properly."

His mom looked at Finn from the couch; he'd walked from the kitchen to the other room at the mention Sam's name. She nodded lightly to him; he presumed this was to tell him to do it now. He felt nervous, his palms were all sweaty. He wondered if Kurt felt like this when he told his dad.

"Burt."

His step-father turned around in the couch to look in the doorway at Finn. Finn must have looked scared or something because Burt looked concerned.

"Finn, is something wrong?" He could even hear the concern in his voice now.

"No, I just really need to talk."

"You two can talk in here, I'll go upstairs. Kurt's been telling me to start my moisturizing earlier when I don't plan on going out that way I can do less later. The boy talks sense you know."

His mom got up from her seat and walked past Finn on the way out. She gave him a reassuring smile and grasped his shoulder lightly before walking of upstairs. Finn sat down on the couch opposite the one Burt was on, it felt like they were at some informal meeting except Finn was in his football jacket and Burt was wearing overalls still and a baseball hat. No meeting is this informal.

"So Finn, what's up?" He still looked concerned; Finn guessed it was a good thing it showed he cared.

"I urmm…" God why was this so hard? "I need to tell you something about… me."

"About you?" He still looked concerned and slightly curious now. Well Finn thought it was curiosity but he wasn't entirely sure what curiosity was and he wasn't very good at reading people like Santana was.

"Y-Yeah, about me and Sam." His voice quivered slightly. Damn, he sounded like he'd done something wrong or whatever. He had no reason to be nervous. Just do it.

"You and Sam? You'll have to give me a bit more than that Finn." Burt was looking right at Finn, as though he wanted to make eye contact; Finn did briefly but had to look back down at his hand again. His hands were covered in sweat and all clammy. The last time he'd felt this nervous was when he'd gone to talk to Sam about their feelings for each other under the tree in the park before summer.

"Well…." How did he phrase this? "We've urmm…"

Burt just waited, he seemed patient but Finn was worried he might not stay so. Burt had always been so nice and patient before but he wasn't thinking rationally at the moment. Was the word rationally right? Oh how was he supposed to know he wasn't a dictionary like Kurt?

"I-I…" He just couldn't say it; he looked back down again and felt his bottom lip start to quiver.

"Finn, you can trust me ok. I want you to, you're my stepson. I class you as my own, I know you're not and I would never replace your dad but I want you to see me as someone you can trust and talk to." Burt placed his hand on Finn's shoulder and it gave Finn a little bit of courage. He took a big breath and decided to just blurt it out.

"I'm gay." He looked down immediately, not wanting to see Burt's reaction. If he was mad or annoyed or anything negative he wouldn't know what to do. Sam was fragile enough as it is without Finn breaking down because his step-dad is upset he is gay.

"I know Finn."

"What?" Finn's head snapped up so fast he thinks he may have actually pulled a muscle. Rubbing his neck he said, "Have you been speaking to my mom?"

"Well yes, but not about this. She hasn't told me anything if that is what you mean."

"T-then how do you know?" For the first time in a while Finn was stammering due to shock rather than because he was nervous or upset. He didn't get how Burt knew, did he ooze gay. Did he smell gay? Maybe he walked with in a gay way or flicked his wrists or something. It was stereotypical (was that the word Kurt used when he spoke about gays being like that?) but maybe Finn did walk around like a gay boy, oh god what if the bullies realise.

"Finn I know because I've seen you with Sam, not because you look gay or anything. No one else would be able to tell." His face must have shown panic or Burt was psychic.

"How I've been with Sam?" His face screwed up in confusion, he hadn't done anything gay in front of Burt with Sam. They hadn't kissed or anything, they made sure they were careful.

"Finn you forget I saw you two together all summer. Not to mention the way you acted when he went missing. I was 90% sure before that but then when I saw you in the choir room; it basically made me almost 100%. The pair of you were inseparable all summer; even for friends you two were too close. I would see how you'd occasionally look at each other or give each other quick glances. I saw how you would try to subtly touch each other's hands or legs under the table. I'm not blind Finn; Kurt is my son, I sort of look out for these signs you know. That and the fact that I overheard you talking to Kurt about it one night. You never mentioned his name but I heard you say him."

He'd forgotten they used to do that; they'd always joke about with each other and touch each other subtly in front of them. Kurt said it was obvious flirting to him but had reassured them that no one else would. Burt obviously had, as for the conversation with Kurt that'd been the night Kurt had found out about it. He'd asked why Sam? He remembered his answer well.

"_He is the most amazing person Kurt. He's kind, sweet, funny, just everything about him is good. I honestly think I'm slightly in love with him."_

He also remembered Kurt's reaction.

"_Slightly, Finn you sound like me when I used to speak about you. Who'd have thought you'd be team gay?"_

One thing Finn hadn't realised was that he'd reacted that obviously when Sam was gone. He knew he was a disaster but he didn't realise it was that obvious why.

"So you're fine with it?"

"Well dur Finn, of course I am. I am with Sam as well."

"Sam." Oh god his mom had said Burt needed to know about that. "There is something I need to tell you about to do with Sam."

Slowly Finn told Burt. Occasionally he had to stop because he realised he was crying. He'd never opened up to Burt like this, he never thought he would or even could. It was nice to just let it all go, especially to someone like Burt. His mom was awesome but Burt was a guy and he seemed to understand the guy's perspective of things.

Burt listened to it all, not making much comment. Asking the odd question here and there but genuinely just listening. Once Finn had finished he looked at Burt. He didn't seemed shocked by what Finn had said, a little sickened maybe but like he has said before he isn't Santana when it comes to observing people.

"You're not shocked or anything?"

"Of course I'm shocked Finn, but I had a feeling something sexual happened to him."

"W-what?" How could he know that? It isn't like Sam walked around saying he'd slept with people for money, Finn had thought it was drugs why would Burt know it was sexual?

"I saw him when we found him Finn; I know the Latina girl did too? I can't remember her name."

"Santana, and what do you mean?" He didn't understand, what had they both seen that he hadn't?

"He was bleeding Finn; it was all down his leg leading to a urmm…" Burt paused for a second, "certain area."

Finn thought back, he remembered it now. He'd seen blood leading from Sam's ass (he didn't like to use that word in this case as it sounded either rude or insulting but what else could he say, he just didn't like using ass when thinking about Sam bleeding from there), he'd ignored it at the time. Brushed it off because he'd had his Sam back, he hadn't even thought about it before now. Now he did he wondered why he hadn't before. Did it mean more happened.

"I saw, I remember it. W-what could cause that?"

"Urmmm… Finn I'm not entirely comfortable talking about it myself. It's a delicate subject; the fact is we don't know what happened to Sam exactly on that night. I don't want to say something and but ideas in your head."

"You won't, I promise I just don't understand why he'd be bleeding from there." Finn honestly didn't get it; he hadn't done much research into gay sex. He knew what guys did together, but how and stuff he wasn't sure. He'd only watched gay porn the once and that had only been by mistake.

"Finn, you know how men can have sex right?" Burt looked uncomfortable, Finn really didn't want to have the 'sex' talk with him right now but he didn't understand.

"Yeah, well sort of I know the basics anyway."

"Right, well for one thing maybe you should read those pamphlets I got Kurt. But if it is…" Burt looked really uncomfortable now; he seemed to be deciding how to describe it. "You know if you have sex with someone, whether it is a girl or a guy, you can hurt them."

"Urmm… I guess," He wasn't that experienced in sex and it did feel awkward talking to Burt about it. He'd only really slept with Santana and almost went the whole way with Quinn when they got back together briefly last year. "Are you saying Sam got hurt because he urmm did… it?"

Burt took a breath. "Not because he had sex no, sex whether it be between a guy and a girl, two guys or whatever can be safe, harmless and fun, I guess. It's if it is forced or too much or rough that problem may appear." Burt said all this with many pauses, trying to decide how best to phrase it Finn guessed, this was awkward for them both. Finn knew Burt had never had a talk like this with Kurt; they'd never really needed too. Blaine knew a lot and if Kurt wanted to know anything he'd ask. Finn knew he was naïve when it came to this stuff at times.

"So Sam was forced?"

"Not necessarily Finn. I'm not saying what happened, I'm just saying that it can happen because it is forced or rough or whatever. I have no idea what happened Finn. The only person who does is Sam."

There was silence between the two now, Burt watching Finn to see if he was going to say anything. Finn lost in thought, was Sam raped? Burt had said something about it being rough, would prostitutes or rent boys as Sam had phrased it have it rough. He guessed they would, whatever the customers demanded. That made him feel sick that guys wanted to touch his man and treat him like a pound of meat that they could use. He could feel him shaking with anger slightly at the idea.

"Look Finn, don't think about it much ok. The point is you need to talk to Sam about it. Have you thought about talking to anyone else about it? Like a guidance councillor or a psychiatrist maybe?"

"Umm… no not really, I don't know if I can think about talking to someone else. Sam definitely wouldn't. He already feels like people will look at him differently."

"Well I can't force you Finn, just know if you want any help look no further." Burt smiled and nodded at Finn, he then grasped his shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze and then got up of the couch and walked upstairs.

Finn's head was spinning; he needed someone else to talk to about this. He loved having Burt and his mom but Burt had filled his head with so much more that he couldn't even think straight. He decided that he'd talk to Santana or Blaine or someone in the morning. It was only nine but he felt exhausted, he'd had a lot to deal with in one day.

**There you have it, no idea when I shall next write, I should be able to update a reasonable amount soon hopefully. Anyway Thank you for reading, I love all of you who have this on story alert and read it every time I update it makes my day to know people want to do that :). Please Review as I always reply :).**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey :), sorry for a long time since an update, it feels like forever although I think it is just over a week :).**

**My mind went blank for a while hence the reason it has literally taken me 5 hours to write only 2,000+ words. Its annoying because it looks like a lot more when you write it using Word :(.**

**Anyway hope you enjoy :D and please review with any typo mistakes, criticisms or whatever you'd like to say in it :).**

**So here is chapter 12. **

**Missing Him**

Finn couldn't sleep that night. He spent night sitting in his bed not being able to sleep. He couldn't get the thought out of his head, he really wished he could but he couldn't. He sat there and watched Sam sleep, if you could really call it sleeping. He would toss and turn until his covers were so tightly wrapped around his body Finn worried he may not be able to breathe properly. Not that he'd dare touch try and unwrap him. A normal person would probably have a heart attack if someone was suddenly touching them while they sleep but with Sam he'd probably have a huge fit and crawl into a ball again. It was so frustrating watching him like this.

Finn knew this wasn't good for him but he would never leave Sam. He just hoped they could get through this, he felt they could but the more Finn watched his boy sleep the more he wondered if it was possible. Sam seemed to be getting worse, Finn knew he had nightmares but he'd never spent the entire night watching him while he sleeps. He mumbled a lot, sometimes the words were inco (however you finish that word, Finn's brain hurt and if he was honest with himself he wasn't even sure if he was thinking of the right word anyway) but other times he could make out words, the words that broke Finn's heart and put him back into his mind state of anger and sadness were when Sam would mumble the word stop. It would come out almost pleading.

It really did sicken Finn to think some disgusting man, like the man who had taken all of Sam's stuff, had forced him to do stuff he didn't want to do. Forced him to t-take it like the bitch he is. Stop thinking like that Finn; he couldn't stop battling with his own thought. He needed sleep but it wouldn't come and he just sat there watching him.

It was about 4am when Sam started getting sweaty, he was moving a lot. He almost fell off the bed a few times. Finn wanted to go over and hold him or hold something cold to his forehead to help him cool down or something. It was when Finn saw and heard Sam hitting against the wall his bed was against that he decided he had to do something.

"Sam." He scrambled out of bed and went over to crouch down next to the blonde's. He could see Sam's eyes moving beneath his lids (it was strange to think we did that, Finn never understood why), his breathing was getting heavier and he appeared to be crying.

"Sam, wake up." He wanted to wake him but without being able to touch him Finn couldn't see anyway, he didn't want to shout at him because it'd wake up Mom, Burt and Kurt and he didn't want them worrying too much. It was then that Sam started screaming.

His screams or yells were so loud Finn was sure his parents would definitely be awake. The screams were defining, not always words often just blood curdling screams. When it was words Finn couldn't help but want to cry at what he was sobbing out.

"N-No, I-I do-don't want to. P-Please." He kept saying this over and over quickly followed by a loud yell of what Finn hoped wasn't pain but sounded like it.

He could hear his parents moving in the room next door. He had to wake Sam up, screw it he's shake him. Sure there'd be consequences but fuck it. As Sam's pleasing turned into sobbing desperation and Finn heard his parents' voices as well as Kurt's Finn stood up and shook Sam.

The reaction was immediate, Sam yelled again and shot awake and crawled into the corner of his bed away from Finn.

"Don't touch me, I don't want to. P-Please."

Finn didn't know what to do so he just stood there, did Sam think Finn was going to hurt him? Did he think he would ever do that? His head hurt so much right now. Did Sam think Finn was someone else? Finn really did hope so.

"Finn what is going on?" Burt and Mom were in the door way to his bedroom, he hadn't even realised they'd opened the door. Kurt was standing just behind them staring straight at Sam. He'd forgotten that Kurt knew as well because he was at glee club. Oh god, glee club. What would they all think? Surely they wouldn't turn on Sam. Santana hadn't and he was pretty sure that Blaine and Kurt wouldn't. Mercedes, Rachel and Quinn wouldn't either he didn't believe, he had no idea about Mike but Tina was cool she'd always been supportive before. But what about Lauren and Puck? He'd been friend with Puck since he was little and he knew that he was close to Sam, as was Artie for that matter. Finn hoped to god that this wouldn't affect that friendship but they all now knew he was gay. Fuck. Not to mention they knew what happened to Sam now, if any off them even tried to be horrible to Sam he'd kill them. He would like to think they wouldn't as they are his friends but you never know how people will react right?

"Finn?"

"Oh, urmm…" He turned back to Sam; he was curled up in the corner still. He'd started rocking now, crying into his knees.

"Was he dreaming?" Kurt had pushed past Burt and Mom. He was standing next to Finn now looking at Sam.

"Yeah, he was."

Kurt was nodding his head, "I thought so, I was pretty sure I heard him the other night as well."

The family stood there for what felt like forever, no one moving. Finn presumed it was because no one knew how to react or what to do.

"Look its early, we should all try and go back to sleep." Burt walked forward and looked as if he was going to touch Sam's shoulder.

"Don't touch him dad." Finn was shocked to hear Kurt say that, he hadn't realised other people had started noticing Sam's reactions. He knew Santana had noticed and he's spoken to his Mom about it but he never realised others had noticed as well.

Burt turned to Kurt and he seemed slightly confused. Finn didn't blame him; it took him what felt like forever to get used to not touching Sam. It felt natural to just want to touch him but he couldn't. Burt however seemed to accept it and instead just sat on the edge of the bed.

"Sam." Sam didn't respond at all he just continued sitting there rocking, he was no longer sobbing but was just staring at a spot near the end of the bed. "Sam can you hear me?"

"Honey, maybe Finn should try talking to him."

Burt looked up at Mom, Finn didn't understand how he could get through to Sam any better but Burt seemed to agree with her because he got up and nodded towards Finn.

Finn looked over his shoulder to her, "Why would he listen to me more than any of you?"

"Because he cares about you Finn, you're the one person he is close to. Surely you realise that."

Finn looked back at Sam; he wished he knew it was true. He knew Sam loved him, he knew Sam cared about him. But that was before; did Sam really still feel the same?

"S-Sam." Finn's voice shook slightly, he felt weird talking to Sam in front of his family. The thing that made Finn smile slightly was Sam did respond to his voice. He seemed to have been knocked out of his trance and stopped looking at the distant spot and stopped rocking. He didn't look at any of them but his eyes did flicker towards Finn quickly.

"Sam, its ok." Finn decided it would be easier to sit on the bed; he wasn't sure what to say again. He looked at his Mom who just nodded at him and she slowly left. Kurt and Burt decided to follow her. He hadn't meant for them to leave he just wanted advice on what to say but he guessed this was easier without an audience. As he heard the door shut he turned back to Sam who was actually looking at him.

"F-Finn…" Sam's eyes were teary and tired looking. He looked grey and dishevelled (another word he learnt from Kurt after saying dishovelled), he was still sweating slightly and his hair was in a mess. To be honest Finn thought his hair looked god damn hot but he couldn't think like that right now.

"Sam look it really is ok. It's early ok we can go back to sleep if you want or go down get breakfast, whatever you want."

"Finn don't be so nice to me please. I'm s-sorry…." Sam's voice was all quiet; Finn wasn't sure whether he was trying to whisper so everyone else could sleep or whether he felt small.

"Sam, seriously I am nice to you because I'm your boyfriend ok. I've told Burt and Mom about us, they're fine with it. We're together ok."

Sam just stared at Finn, "H-how much do they know?"

"What?"

"Burt and your Mom?"

"Oh," He realised he'd told them about Sam without even asking Sam if was ok. Finn thought it was right too though, the whole glee club knew why not them? But he didn't want to piss him off.

"They know about me don't they." Sam said it so blunt it shocked Finn, there was no emotion there whatsoever and yet with Sam you could always tell how he was feeling from the way he said stuff, or before you could.

"Yeah, I had to tell them Sam. The glee club all know and they're not living with you, it didn't feel right."

"So when do I have to leave?"

"Sam for god sakes you ARE NOT leaving!" Finn needed to get this into his head, he felt like every time he spoke to Sam he was running into a brick wall. He'd done this in real life and it was painful enough but to do it not real life (he'd learnt the word for that in English but he never paid attention so don't expect him to remember) hurt even more than physical pain.

Sam just stared at Finn. He said nothing and just stared, like he was trying to see if he was lying. Instead of even responding Sam just got under his covers and turned to face the wall. Finn guessed it meant Sam was done talking, so he decided he'd go downstairs. He had work to do anyway and there was no way he was going to fall asleep anyway he'd just drink lots of coffee and hope he doesn't fall asleep in class tomorrow.

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><p>Sam lay there in his bed; he could feel the tears falling again. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him; his head was so confusing at the moment. His thoughts were muddled. He knew Carole and Burt were good people and wouldn't throw him out but then again why wouldn't they? They had a good for nothing slut living in their house.<p>

No matter what Finn said Sam knew what he was. He was or is, he likes to think was but maybe he still is, a whore, a slut, nothing but trash. He doesn't deserve Finn; he deserves nothing more than death. Would anyone really miss him? He doubted it, Finn would get over it extremely quickly and then he could be with a person he deserves. Someone who'll treat him right and not someone who takes all his kindness and throws it back in his face like he did then.

Sam wasn't sure how school was going to be tomorrow, he was nervous. People knew now, they'd hate him and want to beat him up for being a skank or something. No more than he deserved he guessed, he'd take what is coming to him. Maybe he'll feel better once he's been punished, that is what he hoped anyway.

**So there is chapter 12, update soon I promise :). Please review :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**I cannot believe how longs it's taken me to update this, I've been writing it for like three weeks I swear.**

**I'm so sorry :( I try to update as often as I can, but college and writers block prevent this.**

**I think this is pretty bad because I wrote it little by little and I have no idea if it makes sense, I sort of didn't know what to write :/.**

**Anyway please review and tell me what you think and stuff and I hope you enjoy :).**

**Missing Him**

Finn looked at the time and realised that if Sam didn't get up now they would be late, Kurt had already left. He'd told Finn he wanted to meet Blaine for coffee before school so he'd see him there. In some ways that was a good thing. Although Kurt was great, without him there Finn can talk to Sam and Sam won't feel awkward because of what he admitted yesterday. He might not be able to get away from it at glee club, but on the way to school he'll be able to psych himself up, not that anything Finn said really got through to Sam much.

Just as Finn was about to get up to go and see if Sam was awake the blonde walked into the kitchen. He seemed tired, well obviously he'd spent half the night awake because of his nightmares and even when he did sleep he was awake. That and Finn was pretty sure that after he left him in the room Sam spent the entire night with his own thoughts unable to sleep. Finn himself had spent the night trying to do his Geometry work but he couldn't concentrate. He was too tired for one thing, that and he had a lot on his mind.

"Hi." Finn didn't want it to be awkward, although before he'd have greeted Sam with an empty house (his mom had gone grocery shopping to try and miss the rush of old people during the day and Burt was at work) with either a kiss or more than likely a passionate kiss with one of them ending up pinned to the side of the counter by the other as they start to make out.

"Hey." Sam didn't look at Finn he just sat down at one of the seats opposite him.

"I can make you breakfast if you want?"

"No, I'm fine." Finn wished Sam would eat properly again, admittedly Sam had worried about his eating before but when he was with Finn he'd never worried about that. Most likely because he never really stopped eating and he'd somehow managed to pass that trait onto Sam during the summer. He managed to stay in shape though, Finn never understood how he managed it and yet he still felt slightly fat.

"Sam, you need to eat."

"_Really Finn?"_

Finn was slightly taken aback by the sarcastic tone of Sam's voice. It was something Sam never really did, be sarcastic. He normally just said what he thought and didn't hide behind things like sarcasm.

"Urmm…" Sam didn't seem bothered by the sudden awkwardness that was felt by Finn. He went straight back to just sitting there again. Finn licked his lips and tried to get the conversation moving again. "Sam we'll be late to school if we don't leave soon. You urmm… ready to go?"

Sam nodded, Finn wasn't completely sure whether he actually heard him or not.

"Ooook then," Finn walked out of the kitchen to see Sam following him. Sam's bag was still by the door since last night and Finn had thrown his bag in his car earlier after realising he wasn't going to get his work done anyway.

Finn walked to his car wondering what to say, he couldn't just sit in silence the entire way there. He didn't want to anyway. The problem was is he felt more awkward when he spoke to Sam and there was no response. He'd rather have silence than that.

* * *

><p>Sam felt empty; he didn't want to go to school. He knew he was going to get nothing but stares and whispers from the people that are his so called friends. Judging whispers and glares. He felt empty, like some shell with nothing inside, like a Twinkie that has no filling or Superman without his powers. Nothing but disappointment and pointlessness.<p>

Sam knew Finn was just trying to help and he hated that he was biting back and being so horrible to him but he couldn't help it. It's like he wasn't really controlling himself anymore, he couldn't get out of his own head.

The car journey didn't take long; he sort of wished it had taken longer. That they'd arrived at school later than everyone else. Sam knew that only the Glee club knew but still it didn't make it any easier, it felt like everyone knew. As Finn took his key out of the ignition he turned towards Sam.

"Sam," Sam noticed Finn went to grab his hand before stopping himself, before he would have felt annoyed that Finn couldn't do that anymore but now he just felt nothing when he saw it. It was as if he was emotionless and that was frustrating, but frustration is an emotion. Right? So if he could feel frustration and he can obviously feel anger as he snapped at Finn earlier then why can't he feel anything else. His own mind was confusing him.

"Sam, I need you to know you aren't alone. I'm here with you as support the entire time ok. We'll walk into the school together and have a normal day, people from glee won't care. They're our friends Sam."

Sam turned his head towards Finn; it was as though he was listening to him speak on a bad telephone line. He knew he was speaking to him, knew what words he was saying but he couldn't process them, couldn't understand. It wasn't like his dyslexia or anything it was like your brain has switched off completely. So he decided just to nod. Finn did one of his half smiles, the ones he used to remember he found cute and sweet. Now it was just nothing. Nothing.

Sam followed Finn through the doors of the school, followed him to his locker. Conveniently they were near each other, well convenient for Finn anyway. Sam didn't really care if Finn followed him to his locker or not. He just sort of wanted to be alone.

* * *

><p>Finn could feel Sam's cold shoulder all day, he was distant. The others noticed, they kept their distance most of the time but they didn't avoid them. Finn knew they were trying to give Sam space and Finn wanted to do that as well but he couldn't just abandon his boyfriend when he needed him.<p>

During glee club nobody mentioned yesterday. Finn wasn't sure if Mr Schue Knew but he did send a glance towards Sam when he first walked in. The meeting was quite short because Mr Schue had to go and do something. Finn wasn't really listening, he watched Sam for most of it. He wanted to get inside his head, know what he was thinking. He didn't like not knowing, he was scared for Sam's well-being. That and the guilt were becoming overwhelming for Finn.

As Mr Schue left Kurt, Tina and Quinn stood up at the front. Finn had no idea what was going on, Quinn and Tina usually stayed in their seats during practice, it was a Rachel or Kurt thing to stand at the front and make some sort of announcement.

"Right," Kurt seemed to be the one taking control of whatever this was. "We need to talk about yesterday."

Oh, Finn couldn't help but feel extremely nervous; he did wonder how people would react. After all for some of them; especially Puck, hadn't known that he was gay and with Sam. The fact that Sam had shouted out what had happened to him was, well it must have been like information overload. It was for Finn anyway, he felt like his head could explode and a cloud of smoke would come from his head, like in films. Sam however remained normal, well this normal not Sam normal. He didn't even seem to register people were talking.

"Sam, you need to know that we're all here for you." Quinn had stepped forward towards Sam and crouched down in front of him. She didn't touch him, which Quinn probably would have done but he's guessing Santana or Kurt probably told a lot of people about Sam's flinching and just too be careful. Then again Kurt had noticed without being told, maybe it was obvious.

At Quinn's words Sam did look up, he looked at Tina and Kurt behind her and then continued to look back at the spot he was focusing on before.

"Sam, we don't care what you did."

"What you had to do, we understand. We talked yesterday and we all agreed that no matter what we'll be here for you. We're family, maybe a slightly dysfunctional one and not blood related but we are family." Tina looked at Finn briefly during that; she seemed to be aiming the words at him just as much as Sam.

"Just like we don't care that you are both, well gay." Artie had wheeled to the front from the side. "Those of us which didn't know that is, you already knew that some people didn't care. I mean it hurt a little you couldn't tell us."

"But we don't really care," Mike had stood up and joined the group at the front now. "We accept you, just like we accept Kurt and anyone else."

Finn didn't know what to say, he felt bad for not telling Mike, Tina and Artie. Then again, he hadn't really planned on telling Santana, Kurt, Blaine, Brittany, Mercedes, Rachel and Quinn. The one person he was most worried about was Puck. He kept looking over at him to see if he was in agreement with the guys at the front. Sure they'd had their troubles but Finn still classed him as his best friend, and he was very close to Sam as well. It mattered what Puck though.

"Urmm, thanks guys." Finn did a little half smile which was returned by those at the front. Quinn was still crouched in front of Sam, concern etched across her face. Mercedes realised why, after all Quinn had gone out with Sam. Also, everyone generally liked the kid. Sure he was a bit dorky but she herself had always found them cute. She was glad he had Finn though; the pair of them seemed good together over the summer. Sam didn't deserve what happened to him, no one did.

* * *

><p>"Sam you really need to know we care, seriously. We all love you. We all want to help." She didn't know what to say but felt she must say something. Sam's eyes flickered towards her quickly and then back to where he was staring. It sort of crushed her slightly to see him like this, Sam was never really shy. He was confident with the person he was and even when his views didn't make him popular he stuck by his morals. This Sam was like a shell of his former self, it was just heart wrenching.<p>

There was an awkward silence within the choir room now. Kurt caught her eye and she decided it was probably time to leave. After all what good were they doing just sitting here. Sam needed time; he had heard what they'd said. Now all they had to do was wait for him to go to them if necessary.

"Urmm, well I've got to get going."

"Yeah me too, Kurt and I are meant to be going to Dalton to pick up some of my stuff that I left there."

* * *

><p>Slowly others began to leave. Finn wanted to talk to Puck; he hadn't said anything this whole time. He could get Santana to take Sam home or something, or even just make sure Sam's alright. He knew Sam wasn't a child but he just didn't want him on his own.<p>

"San," he turned to her as they both picked up their bags.

"Yes Finnessa."

"Well, could you urmm, well keep an eye on Sam while I talk to Puck."

Finn saw Santana's eyes narrow slightly in confusion and suspicion. He knew it was an odd request, or he guessed it was, but he needed this.

"Sure." She quickly ran after Sam, who'd already gotten up and started walking out of the choir room. He still seemed in his own world.

Puck had stayed in the choir room, Lauren must have already gone as they were the only two left. Finn knew this was going to be awkward; he hated awkwardness, which was odd considering he knew he was the most awkward person in the world, so if he hated awkwardness he hated himself and that just confused the hell out of him.

He coughed once and Puck looked up from his guitar. Finn didn't know why he had it but he did.

"Urmmmm…"

There was that awkward silence as Finn just stood there and Puck sat holding his guitar. It went on for what Finn felt like ages.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." He frickin' chickened out, he couldn't think of what to say. He wanted to talk to Puck but he didn't as well.

As Finn turned and started walking out of the choir room, Puck finally spoke.

"So how long?"

"How long what?" He turned and started walking back inside, he think he knew what but he wasn't sure as he could never interpret well.

"How long have you known you like to hide the sausage?"

"Wait what?" Finn was generally confused, what did food have to do with anything?

"Oh, I forgot that you should technically be clinically classed as fucking oblivious." Puck was smiling to himself. Finn had to admit he always found it easy to talk to Puck, he missed the jokes they'd make. "I meant how long have you been like Hummel?"

It took a while for Finn to realise what he was asking, after all he didn't understand as Puck was at the wedding so knew how long they'd been brothers. He soon realised that he meant gay.

"W-w-well, urmm, I don't think I am."

Puck's raised his eyebrow and Finn could feel himself getting panicky, he hated explaining and his palms felt sweaty. He still wasn't sure what Puck thought.

"I think as you appeared to have been sucking Evans lips all summer you are in fact a homo, Finn."

"I didn't say I don't like Sam, I meant I'm not like totally gay." He didn't understand it himself; he hadn't really been interested in guys before he suddenly found himself wanting Sam. "I'm still into girls, Sam is too. It's just we just well you know sort of fel…"

"Oh god, don't make me vomit on you Finnegan." Puck stood up now; he placed his guitar on the stand and picked up his bag. "I don't want to hear about how you fell in love, if you're not 100% homo then whatever. Just how long?"

"Oh," the pair of them started walking out of the choir room and down the corridor, "well since the beginning of summer I guess."

"So you ermm weren't like into me or nothing?"

"NO, dude don't get me wrong you're like muscly and shit but NO!"

"Wow, nice way to make some feel unloved Finn."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Dude, I'm joking." Puck hit Finn's shoulder and smiled. Finn was sure this was a good sign.

"So y-you don't care that I'm…"

"Finn just say it after all it's what you are," Puck rolled his eyes and stopped at his locker. "And no, I don't care. Don't get me wrong it'll take time getting used to it. You're like a brother to me; I've known you since I was like 4. If you'd asked me 3 years ago I'd say hell no but since glee and Hummel and stuff. Gay dudes aren't that bad I guess."

Finn couldn't help but smile, he was glad Puck was on his side. Puck was right, a few years ago and Puck would have beaten the crap out of him. Now however he genuinely seemed ok with it.

"Yeah I get that dude; it's sort of strange for me too. But we're cool yeah."

He offered Puck his fist to bump. Puck looked at it sceptically.

"You haven't been like jerking of Evans with that hand or anything have you?"

"WHAT? No, no way. I-I"

"Dude seriously calm the fuck down." He started laughing as he shut his locker. "I'm joking, and yeah we're cool."

Finn sighed a big breath, Puck bumped his fist and he sort of felt like a fool for over-reacting. He hadn't even touched Sam down there, well through clothing he had but not since before he got kicked out.

"Dude about Sam." Puck looked at Finn, he seemed to look concerned. Finn had only really seen that when they were little or when Quinn was pregnant with Beth. "I care about the dude; do you think he'll be alright?"

"I dunno dude, he just seems lost and stuff. I don't know what to do."

Puck put his hand on Finn's shoulder to stop him from walking. They'd reached the parking lot now and Finn could see Sam waiting in the car with Santana. She'd probably expect a lift or something. Finn turned to look at Puck, he seemed serious.

"Dude, I'm here for you alright. I know it's all sentimental and shit but I am. I sort of care about you both, you're my friends and nobody fucks with that."

"Thanks Puck." Finn knew Puck wasn't great with words so he decided to just cut him off there. He went to hug him stopping himself before he actually did it and feeling rather awkward offered his fist again. Puck seemed to notice the gesture though.

"Were you about to hug me Finn?"

"Errrrrrrr"

Puck looked around and quickly put his arms around Finn. It wasn't like a girly hug, like a proper manly hug, well Finn thought it was anyway. It didn't last very long but it was nice. Nice to know that Puck was there, like Puck had said earlier they had been like brothers since they were little.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then butt slut."

"Fuck you Puckerman."

"No thanks, I'd rather not be smothered by a monster."

"Just go Puck." Finn couldn't help but chuckle; he had honestly missed Puck's sense of humour. He knew the insults weren't meant nastily, he never thought they were anyway.

Finn turned to walk towards the car, he was glad to have his old friend back. The way the glee club had told them they were there was cool too. He was glad that they all accepted him, he wasn't sure if they would. He just felt it could possibly be easier with them around them; maybe Sam will open up easier. Finn just wished that Sam was the Sam he knew, the Sam he loved.

**So urmm yeah there you go. Please review if you wish too :).**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for such a long wait :/ I really am sorry just with college so much stuff gets in the way and it takes me what feels like forever to write a chapter. This chapter is a lot shorter than originally planned due to time, but I know what I'm writing for the next two chapters so YAY :). They'll hopefully be written in the next week depending on how quickly I get other stuff done. **

**Anyway so here is chapter 14 :) enjoy and review if you find mistakes as I haven't reread it :P.**

**Missing Him**

Sam stayed the same over the next few weeks. He didn't sleep properly, didn't eat and most of the time didn't even speak. It sort of cast a downer on the whole of the Hudmel household, Finn especially. He couldn't really get away from it. Don't get him wrong, Finn loved Sam and he was glad they were able to share a room (Finn thought after he came out that it'd change as Burt wouldn't want them in the same room in case you know, but he was pretty sure that in the current situation his parents knew that something like that wasn't even plausible) but he couldn't help but feel depressed when he's with Sam. He just wished the depression oozing from Sam would go and they could be how they were again. It was like Sam was stuck inside his own head, at weekends he barely moved. Often he just lay in his bed facing the wall. It killed Finn to see him like that.

Finn was pretty sure the other Glee clubbers were noticing. Well how could they not, Kurt and Blaine were at the house a lot anyway and Finn knew Blaine was totally different when he wasn't around Sam. Santana was often at the house as well, she'd sort of become Finn's best friend. She'd bring round Brittany, she never used to but now she always did. Finn even asked why and he got the response "Britt is totally oblivious to everything; she can be cheerful no matter how depressing the company is." He guessed it made sense; Sam really did bring everyone down. They all knew it wasn't his fault, you can't help being depressed, and the thing that got Finn was that he was lost. He had no idea what to do and so it seemed nor did anyone else.

Everyday Finn would wake up and see Sam and forget about everything that was going on and go over to him to just snuggle up behind him. It was something he did every single day, but he never actually got onto Sam's bed because it was when he got near Sam that he remembered. It'd hit him like some sort of train or something big and heavy, like a sumo wrestler. It felt as though he was being hit in the face with a massive, cold bucket of water. The realisation stung.

Worse of all Finn knew it was having a big effect on him. He took his frustration and depression out on others, usually those closest such as his mom. He'd snapped at Santana a few times, she'd react one of two ways; either tell him he needs to get a "fucking grip" and if he takes it out on her one more time "she'd go all Lima Heights and castrate him" or she'd ignore him. He was glad she never carried through her threats as he googled castration and he was pretty sure Santana had the guts to do it. All the glee clubbers seemed to be tolerant of both Sam and Finn. Finn knew that they just wanted to help and were trying to be supportive but he knew it was only a matter of time before they got fed up.

He wishes he knew what to do; maybe he could help Sam then. Maybe he could get him out of the slum he's in and they can be like Brittany and Santana or Mike and Tina, just like they used to be.

Santana could tell that something needed to be done. Sam hadn't spoken to anyone, from what she saw anyway, in over a week and a half. She knew others wanted to help but they didn't know how, she had a plan though. Sort of like divide and conquer. She'd take Sam and talk to him, try and get him to open up or something while Puckerman takes Finn of somewhere with wheels, male Chang and Anderson to keep him busy and hopefully cheer the depressed buffoon up. She hated seeing the giant so miserable, it bugged her she admitted.

Her plan was ready to be put into action; everyone knew what was going to happen. Tina had even said she'd help Santana talk to Sam, she wasn't sure at first but Tina was nice and calm. Santana could be a little aggressive at times and although she hopes she doesn't she may become frustrated with Sam if she gets nowhere, Tina on the other hand won't. She couldn't see how it could be a bad idea; already Tina had shown she cared about Sam and Finn. In fact the whole glee club had, she liked this whole family thing you felt supported. Now all they needed was for Sam to feel it.

So after Glee practice in which they didn't really do much, Santana and Tina hung back while everyone else left. Sam was always the last to leave, it wasn't normally until Finn said his name that Sam even realised it was over.

"You're coming with us Hudson."

"Wait, what?" Finn had been staring at Sam when Puck spoke. This was going to be the hardest part, getting Finn to leave without Sam. He hadn't really been anywhere without Sam, he was scared to leave him alone. Santana thought it was probably because the last time he left Sam was when he went missing. So whenever Finn was not with Sam someone from the Glee club must be with him, whether in lessons, during breaks or even after school. Finn would get all panicky and even bunk lessons if Sam had a free that others weren't available to do "Trouty Watch". It wasn't what it was called just Santana liked calling it that you know, makes everything seem less serious after all there was only so much sadness she could take.

"We're going, the four of us and you." Blaine stepped forward and even tried pulling Finn away. Although the giants body started walking towards the door his head never stopped facing Sam. It was sweet how attached to him Finn was, how protective; well it would have been if Santana wasn't trying to do something here.

"Yeah come on Finn we'll go bowling or something." Mike had grabbed Finn's other arm.

"W-w-what…" Finn was confused, it was as though the boys had caught him in mid-thought and now his mind was racing to catch-up with what was happening, Santana saw the same thing happen to Brittany all the time.

"Finn, you, me, Mike, Blaine and Puck are all going ok. We'll go get tacos or burgers or something."

Finn's head immediately turned around at the mention of food, she knew his appetite wasn't what it used to be since Sam went missing, she presumed it was due to the fact he was worried or stressed but she knew he still ate like tones and she'd told wheels to take him to get food. Seemed like her genius was working.

"Can we go to Dream Burger?"

"Sure, Finn." Puck's immediate rolls of his eyes suggested to Santana that Finn often made people go there; she wasn't really friends with him much before summer. They were sort of friends but not particularly close, as in they didn't know much about each other. During the summer she honestly couldn't remember if he'd forced them to go there or not, he was either preoccupied by Sam or she was by Brittany.

"What about Sam though?" Finn turned back around and wouldn't move.

"We'll look after him Finn. You need a break, have some fun yeah." Tina walked towards Finn as she said this and even placed her hand on his cheek. "Finn, Santana and I will make sure he's alright ok."

He didn't look convinced and he started doing his little lip licking and blinking thing.

"Finn, seriously. Tina and I will be fine. Go."

"B-b- "

Finn didn't get chance to finish that sentence as Puck dragged him from the room by the back of his t-shirt and the other boys followed leaving Tina and Santana with Sam. The entire time Sam hadn't looked up or even spoken, neither girl knew how to start this.

"Where are we going to go?" Santana hadn't thought of this, school wasn't a good place they needed to get out of here.

"I'd say the park but it's freezing outside and he wouldn't want to go to his and Finn's spot." She wasn't sure whether Tina knew about their spot but chances were she'd get what she means anyway, most couples have that special place after all. For her and Brittany it was Brittany's auntie's backyard, it has this swing seat. It was the first time Santana ever actually asked Brittany out.

The girls stood in silence for a while, both thinking. Santana was stumped; she guessed they could just walk around or something. She'd suggest her house but she's pretty sure her mom wouldn't be happy about it, she'd sort of overheard her talking to Brittany over the phone about Sam and seems to think that Sam is bad news even though she has no idea what happened.

"I know somewhere," Tina bit he lip as she spoke and though. "It's another park, I'm presuming their spot is specific to Lincoln Park."

"Yeah, why?"

"Well I know another park, Robb Park. It's nice and quite as well. There is a gazebo thing in the middle there that we can go in. No one's ever goes to it and when there are others there it's really private. Plus it's got proper walls rather than just holes where windows would go so we'll be protected from the weather."

"I'm not sure," Santana wanted to go somewhere but the thought of others over hearing wasn't great, but what other option was there.

"Santana, trust me. No one will overhear us. Mike and I have been there before."

"Oh really, never thought you were into stuff like that Lady Chang."

"Shut it," Tina laughed and gave her evils. "Come on we better get going."

"Fine, you can give me directions." Santana then turned to Sam; they had to get his attention. She'd just go and touch his shoulder but he'd flinch and back off and then they'd be further away from getting Sam to open up then before.

"Sam, Glee club is finished." Tina had already walked over to Sam, she didn't touch him though.

He looked up at the sight of someone standing in front of him and blinked before looking around. He really didn't seem to realise that glee club had finished well over ten minutes ago. He seemed to just get stuck in his own little dark, miserable world. She wanted to know what he was thinking about, actually on second thoughts maybe it was best not to know. She cared about him but if he kept thinking about what happened to him out there then she'd rather not know. She did however know that Finn needed to, it was essential to them moving forward. If Finn knows he can help, Tina and Santana had already talked about this with Quinn, Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes. The boys relationship was slowly breaking down, they needed to start making progress. It'd be difficult yes but it was necessary.

Finn wanted to know as well. They could all tell, it was eating him up. His own imagination was getting the better of him. He'd mentioned to Santana about how he couldn't stop thinking about it, about their hands on Sam, about what they did and would do to him. He'd get angry and his fists would clench, it scared Santana if she was honest. She'd seen him angry, they all had no one would forget the slightly hilarious sideways kick at the chair when he found out about Quinn and the baby but this was different. He would get angry in a different way, protective. She'd never seen him like it, you could see the rage in his eyes, not at Sam but at the men that would touch him. His imagination wasn't helping that rage; he needed to know before it made him explode with it.

"Where's Finn?"

"Urmm, he's got to go do something Sam. Something with his mom." Tina turned to Santana looking for help.

"Yeah, he has to go find Mr. Hummel a birthday present or something. I'm not sure I stopped listening, but Tina and I will hang out with you for a while. It'll be nice to be just the three of us anyway." She realised she probably sounded patronising which if this was the Sam she knew he'd hate it, well hate it from anyone else he'd probably just laugh at her and tell her to stop being a bitch. Now however, he just accepted it and got up. It was as though he'd lost all sense of care.

Tina looked at Santana before slowly walking towards the door just behind Sam, he already started heading that way.

"Sam we're going in my car ok."

"Fine."

"Santana, I'm starting to wonder whether today is worth it. We might not get anywhere." Tina had slowed down so Santana could walk next to her out of Sam's earshot, not that it'd have mattered he was too lost in his head.

"I know T, but what choice do we have. We need to do something; we have to try at least."

"Yeah I know. Just I don't even know what we'll do if it doesn't. If he doesn't open up and agree to talk to Finn then what?"

Santana didn't answer and just looked at her, Tina's face mirrored her own. It was full of worry and care. She hoped this worked, nobody else had thought of anything and she herself had no other ideas other than medical help and she wanted to avoid that if possible. Sam wouldn't want it and they can hardly force it on him. She just needed this to work; they all did, for Sam and for Finn.


	15. Chapter 15

**So here's chapter 15. It's shorter than I thought it'd have been, possibly because it was originally part of 14 but I hadn't written it yet and I wanted to upload something sooner rather than later and I forget so yeah. Hopefully I'll update soon again and it'll be a lot longer :).**

**Thanks to my friend Savy for reading this for me :P. **

**Review if you want, don't if you don't :). Critisisms are very much welcomed as it will help me improve and stuff :D**

**So Chapter 15.**

**Missing Him**

Tina directed Santana to the park from the passenger's seat. Sam sat in the back in silence the entire time. She kept trying to think of how they were going to get him to talk; it was going to be difficult. They needed him to realise that he had support but how? How were they going to get him to just get out of his head? She really hoped Santana had some sort of idea of what to say, Tina had been thinking about it for the last few days ever since the plan was formed and she was stumped.

When they got to the park, Santana parked the car and they all just sat there for what felt like ages. Tina and Santana both looking at each other, Sam sat in silence. He hadn't even noticed that they'd stopped by the looks of it.

"Sam. We're here." Tina hadn't really thought about an explanation of why here if Sam asked. She didn't want to talk or treat him like a child, he wasn't a child he was the same age as them.

She didn't get a response from Sam so looked back to Santana, giving the other girl a small nod Tina got out of the car. Santana did the same and to their surprise so did Sam.

"Why are we here?"

"Urmm… we need to talk to you Sam."

"Why here though?"

"It's quiet here Sam. I doubt you want everyone listening to us right?"

Sam just looked at Tina, he said nothing just nodded and started walking into the park. Sighing and looking at Santana, Tina followed.

The gazebo like structure in the middle was big and made out of a wood of some sort, if Tina knew she'd say but she didn't. It was empty inside luckily and it was relatively warm, well compared to outside where you were exposed to the wind anyway.

Sam sat on one of the benches and immediately drew his legs up to his chest and rested his head on his knees. He looked like a child Tina had to admit but still he looked defeated, it saddened her. The Sam she remembered would make her laugh, laughter was something that barely even registered in the Glee club members now. Not only was this for Finn and Sam but also for the whole club, they all knew it was affecting them all.

"Sam, I think you may know what we're going to say." Santana spoke to Sam softly (not patronising just not the way you'd expect Santana to speak, well before all this anyway) and took the seat next to Sam's left so Tina decided to follow suit and sit on his right.

"Yeah." Sam's voice was shaky and you could hear tears being held back. Sam himself wouldn't look up; he just sat staring at his knees now.

"You need help Sam. Possibly medical but not necessarily. You have to get out of this state, it's killing you." Tina wished she knew what to say, she was just sort of saying stuff at the moment.

"It's difficult Sam," Santana went to grab Sam's hand as she spoke, stopped herself though. It had sort of become a natural reaction to stop yourself touching someone mid touch now, even if it wasn't Sam. Tina couldn't help but think how much easier it would be to help Sam if they could comfort him physically. "I know. You don't want to burden this on others. I get that, I really do. But Sam you can't keep everything bottled up."

"It'll slowly destroy you Sam, bottling things up just causes you to damage yourself, maybe without you even realising. You're doing more harm than good keeping this all inside." Tina wasn't sure if what she'd just said made sense but Santana nodded encouragement when she glanced at her so she guessed it did.

"Tina's right Sam, you know we're all here for you. Finn is here for you. He loves you, hell I've never seen him love anyone or anything more than he does you. Not even food and that's saying something." Santana wasn't trying to make a joke but Sam barely even registered it, he did seem to listen more when Finn was mentioned though. This did give Tina an idea.

"Sam, you being like this is affecting everyone but especially Finn." Sam did pay more attention at this; he even inclined his head slightly towards her. "Finn's feeling your pain too and yet he has nothing to pin it on so to speak. He doesn't know what's going on in your head. He's… he's becoming just as depressed as you are. You realise how much this is breaking him seeing you like this, all he wants to do is help. To just know what is going on in your head, to know why you feel like this."

"I'm sorry." Sam's voice was barely even a whisper; it was barely even registerable through the slight sob.

"Sam you don't have to be sorry." Santana crouched in front of Sam this time. "It isn't your fault; you just need to open up. Not to us if you don't want but we are here if you _ever_ need us ok. But to Finn, he needs this, you need this."

"How c-can I open-n u-u-p to him?" Sam's speech was broken by the sobs and sniff. It would have been pitiful if not so tragic. "He'll never l-l-look a-a-t me t-t-t-he same again."

"Sam, trust me Finn won't judge you. Finn isn't like that, he never has been. He loves you, although I only found out recently I can tell. You should have seen him when you were missing; all he wants is you Sam. No matter how much baggage or crap you bring with you. He cares and loves, he wouldn't judge you Sam. Especially over something which wasn't your fault."

"H-he'll b-b-b-be di-sgusted by me."

"Sam, he won't. You need to do this, Finn isn't coping. Do you really want to see him suffer?" Santana glanced at Tina while she spoke, Tina wasn't 100% about this, making Sam feel guilty could make things worse but then again it could make him want to tell Finn. Santana seemed to be hoping so anyway. "It doesn't mean he shouldn't be with you before you say it, he'd be more heartbroken than he is being with you. But if you want Finn Sam, and I know you do. I know you love him, and care about him, and then you have to let him in."

Sam finally looked up, he looked at Santana and then Tina. She could see the tears in his eyes still.

"What do I even say?"

"Just tell him the truth, tell him what happened. It's killing him not knowing, Finn's imagining what happened and it isn't healthy. If he knows the truth then he can help, you can get through this Sam, as a couple." Tina wasn't sure what else to say, she looked to Santana for help.

"You're strong Sam; it's one of the things I've always admired in you. You and Finn both are, you can get past this. I know it's hard, it'll take time and little steps but this big step now is needed. Otherwise you'll keep going around in circles and never get out of this dark, depressive hole you're stuck in. This needs to be done Sam; I'm not trying to pressure you into doing it. Do it when you're ready, but the sooner the better. I'm scared for you Sam, for your life and for Finn's."

Sam just stared at Santana once she'd finished, he couldn't stay like this. He knew something needed to be done; Tina was right when she said Finn cared. He knew he did, he loved him. The idea of Finn being hurt by him was horrifying, but the idea of Finn dying because of the pain Sam's putting him through was just implausible. He didn't want to do this, he didn't. What if Finn couldn't face what he'd done? Couldn't forgive him for how disgusting he was? That night was the worse night of Sam's life, how could Finn not feel sickened by it? But Sam did love Finn, more than he'd ever loved anyone in his whole life. If this helped Finn he'd do it, even if it meant Finn would abandon him. He didn't care as long as Finn was ok.

Sam slowly nodded at Santana, mumbling ok. Tina found it heart-breaking and relieving at the same time. They'd actually made progress, their plan had worked. They'd got through to him. She hoped anyway, it seemed so. She guessed they just had to wait and see. Sam still had to talk to Finn, she wished there was a way of giving Sam the courage. She just hoped that this is the start of Sam getting better, but honestly she wasn't sure.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ok I'm so sorry it took so long. Everything just got in the way and fic writing took a backseat. I'm sorry I told people it'd be up before this but I again got distracted. Thanks goes to my friend Savy for sort of being a beta for this chapter for me. **

**I'll remind you what has happened. You hopefully remember all the Sam missing, saying he was a rent boy etc. Finn and Sam aren't dealing the others have noticed. Tina and Santana told Sam he has to open up to Finn and tell him what happened on the night he was found. **

**This was difficult to write so any and all criticisms welcome. Please review. Also tell me if these bits at the top are annoying and I'll stop doing them. Or at least cut down. Anyways here is Chapter 16**

**Missing Him**

Sam's heart was racing; he couldn't stop pacing Finn's room. It'd been a month since he'd been taken to the park by Santana and Tina. Straight after they'd spoken to him he'd planned on talking to Finn that night. He even went to tell him but thought better of it, Finn seemed fine anyway. Why would Sam want to tell Finn something that'd make him, well Sam wasn't sure how Finn would react but still why would he tell him? Santana and Tina were wrong Finn was alright he didn't seem to be hurting. Sam was hurting, he knew that and he wanted to keep it that way. He still felt disgusted with himself, with what happened. It was his fault after all; this emotional prison he was in was what he deserved. Finn was fine though, right?

Sam quickly came to realisation that Finn was in fact not fine. Over the last few weeks and months Sam never really paid any attention to anyone else, all he thought about was what happened and wishing he'd die. But after what Santana and Tina had said about Finn's life being in danger he started watching Finn when he wasn't too far wrapped up inside his own head. Finn was definitely different to before. He was quite, like all the time. Finn wasn't as chatty and in your face as Rachel or even Kurt but he would talk quite a lot now he just sat there in silence staring of in the distance. Sam wondered whether that's what he looked like most of the time.

Not only was Finn not talking a lot of the time but when he did talk he was snappy or aggressive. Finn wasn't usually like that; it was odd to seem him like it. Sam couldn't at first figure out what it was that was causing Finn to act like that. He was definitely different, he looked tired. Sam knew Finn wasn't sleeping well, Sam may be dyslexic but he isn't stupid. He noticed that Finn spent most of the night watching him. This just made Sam feel even worse than he already did, not only did Finn have to deal with him during the day but he had to deal with him at night as well. Sam's nightmares hadn't stopped, every night he'd relive moments and he means relive. They aren't normal nightmares, it's like it is actually happening again, like he is back there with their hands on him.

Sam knew Santana and Tina were wrong; there was no way he could tell him. Sure, Finn wasn't dealing with well but he was baring up Sam was sure. He'd get past this, he may seem down, depressed and not Finn at the moment but he'd be back to old Finn again. Sam had to believe this to stop himself thinking about the idea of Finn hurting due to him. Sam couldn't tell him, he'd make it worse surely.

Sam was wrong, Finn wouldn't get past this. It was when Finn was with Carole that Sam realised this. Sam was in the conservatory, no one could see him in the spot he had found. It had sort of become his favourite place to go, get away from everyone. He just couldn't deal with the darkness he was spreading out into them. It was from here Sam heard and saw what happened. Finn and Carole always got on great, well usually. They'd fight like any family but they would always support each other. What Sam saw proved to him that Finn wasn't ok.

* * *

><p>Finn and Carole were arguing, what about Sam wasn't sure but he had a feeling it could have been about him. Finn seemed to being getting angrier and angrier the more he spoke to Carole, Carole getting more and more upset. Tears were pouring down her face. Their voices had started to get louder meaning Sam could understand everything being said.<p>

"He needs help Finn, you need help." Carole was almost pleading with Finn. "For God sake Finn, you _aren't _coping."

"I'm fine mom, I know Sam needs help. Do you think I don't _know_ that? But no you feel you have to get involved, feel you need to have your input. God, why are you such a controlling bitch?"

Sam couldn't believe Finn had called his mom a bitch, or even controlling. Carole wasn't that at all, Finn would never swear at his mom. But he just had.

"Finn," Carole was crying more than ever now, almost shaking with the emotions. "I know you don't mean that. Finn this isn't you. I care about you; I care about both of you. But you _need_ help."

"You don't know anything, we're fine. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sam couldn't quite believe what he was seeing, not only was Finn shouting at his mom but he actually got right up into her face.

"Honey, just let us help you."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP!" Finn literally spat this into Carole's face, the force of his voice even mad Sam take a step back and he wasn't even in the same room. Carole however, she stood her ground.

"You can say what you like Finn. I'm your mother; I will always care about you." Finn had already started walking towards the door. "I am not going to stand here and watch you fall apart. I can't. I can't say I know what it's like Finn, but I do know what it's like to see someone you love fall apart. I had that with your dad."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" It happened so quick Sam couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Finn span around at what Carole had just said and thrown the vase which had been next to the door on a spindle table. It smashed against the wall above Carole's head. She didn't even flinch; it was like she'd experienced this before.

Sam knew it wasn't with Finn that she'd lived through this, it was with his father. Finn found out the truth about his father over the summer. He never really got over it, it still affected him before Sam, well you know. Sam had tried to comfort Finn; he just seemed so defeated at the time. That felt like such a long time ago, like another lifetime.

Carole was just standing there, tears still pouring down her face. A part of Sam wanted to go and help her, comfort her. Finn had already gone, Sam was pretty sure he heard the front door slam shut. But the other half of Sam couldn't bring himself to do it. It was his fault; he was the one that had brought this pain that was now evident within Finn. Carole must hate him, she must hate for what he's done to her son. What he is doing to her son.

So instead, Sam just stood there. Let Carole stand there in shock and pain. He did realise something though, Santana and Tina had been right. Finn was self-destructing, Sam didn't care about himself but he couldn't watch this happen to Finn. If telling him wh-what happened will help then he'll do it. He has to do it.

* * *

><p>Finn was shaking; he could feel the blood pumping through his veins. His heart was going a million miles an hour. He felt like he couldn't breathe. It was almost as though everything that had just happened was some distant movie he could barely remember. But it wasn't a film, it was real. He'd really just acted like that to his mom. How could he? Shit.<p>

He hadn't even noticed he'd got in his car, let alone driven it anywhere. But he had, weirdly enough he drove it somewhere he hadn't expected, his old house. It was weird sitting outside it, looking at what had been his home for such a long time.

He remembered what it was like living there; it'd been difficult for a long time. His mom had to do two jobs so they could live. Finn had never really appreciated how much she did for them both. He learnt how to play drums in there, spent hours playing with Puck, cried in his mother's arms when someone stole his tricycle.

He knew that other people lived in there now. New people, someone lived in his old room. He wondered if they'd ever changed the wallpaper, it was always hid most favourite thing about his old room. He always had a thing for cowboys. His mom had brought him so much stuff when he was little; cowboy hats, toys and even the boots with the little spurs on them. Puck always used to take this piss out of him for it. Laugh as Finn would pretend to be a cowboy, he was pretty sure that Puck really loved playing the Red Indians though. He just liked the paint and not having to wear a shirt, he guessed Puck still didn't like wearing a shirt.

He couldn't believe what he'd just done. It was as though the realisation was hitting him like a freight train. It was like he couldn't breathe through the guilt. The tears just came, he couldn't help it. Once they'd started they just wouldn't stop, it was as though all his emotions over the last few weeks and months had all boiled to the top and came out in an explosion that his mom felt the repercussions off. These tears were the side effect, Finn just cried. He couldn't think straight, how could he have done that to the one person who has always been there for him?

With a sharp tap to the window Finn was knocked out of the stunned guilt he had fallen into. Puck was actually standing at his car window, concern etched across his face. Finn automatically unlocked the passenger door.

"Dude, are you ok?" Puck's voice was full of worry as he got into the passenger seat facing Finn. It killed Finn a bit; Puck shouldn't be worrying about him not after what he just did.

"I'm fine."

"You're clearly not? I've known since we were like four, spill."

Finn couldn't tell him. Puck had said it after all; they'd known each other for like ever. Puck knew his mom, in fact even preferred his mom over his own. How could he tell him how he treated her? He'd probably hate him, not as much as Finn does himself though.

"Is it Sam? Because dude I meant it when I said I care about you both. Maybe I can help or something."

"It's not Sam no." Tears were still pouring down his face.

"Then what dude. Didn't break a nail or anything?" Puck laughed lightly, Finn knew what he was trying to make light of the situation. Puck would do that sometimes, he was more comfortable with jokes than tears.

"N-no…" Finn couldn't take it, the feelings were too overwhelming again and he just burst into tears. Sobbing and shaking he fell into Puck's shoulder.

Puck hadn't seen Finn like this since Sam went missing. They all knew Finn wasn't coping but he had demonstrated that through his emptiness and not Finness. This however, was the most Finn-like thing he'd seen the guy do in months.

"Seriously, dude. What happened? It'll be alright whatever it is."

"T-that's just it Puck it won't." Puck was surprised he could even make out the words through the sniffs. "I was just so awful to her."

"Her?" Puck was genuinely confused now. He'd presumed Finn was getting all girly over his homo Evans. He was 99% sure Sam had a penis, so if it wasn't him then who.

"I yelled at her Puck. Not like any argument we've ever had before, I can't believe I said what I said."

Puck was still confused, if Finn was with Rachel he'd have presumed her but he wasn't. Rachel wasn't even in Lima at the moment; she was off to see her aunt or some stupid relative of hers.

"Finn, dude. I'm still not sure who you mean and I'd like to know because seriously you get any more snot on my t-shirt and I swear I will punch you in the face."

"M-my mom."

Mrs. H. Hmm, Finn had had an argument with her. That wasn't usually a big deal, they'd argued a couple of times before and made up within like thirty seconds. This seemed different though.

"I'm sure whatever it was Finn, your mom would forgive you. Mrs. H is sort of awesome like that." She really was, she'd always accepted Puck.

"I threw stuff at her, I shouted in her face, told her I don't need h-her. She's never going to forgive me. I don't know what to do Puck."

"Finn." Puck decided it was best to actually look Finn in the face. When they were little Finn was so stubborn that unless he was told directly in the eye he'd continue throwing a tantrum. He guessed nothing changed now. "Finn, your mom will forgive you. She knows what you are going through. She gets it dude. She just wants to help you, just let her yeah. Firstly, you need to make it up to her for being a fucking douchebag though."

Finn just nodded and sniffed, it really was like time hadn't really moved and they were both little again.

"You need to get this all sorted. Both you and Sam need fucking help dude. Your mom will support you, you know that. She's not me ma. Trust me Finn, everything will be fine."

"No, it won't Puck." Finn looked away again, he seemed distant, back to how he's been for a while.

"Finn, you need to listen to me. I'm scared about you, for you. Dude, look at me."

Finn kept looking away; it was as though he wasn't really listening. So Puck decided it was best to grab turn his face towards him. For the first time he was actually looking into Puck's eyes, he was a shadow of his former self. Those eyes were empty.

"Finn I _need _you to listen to me. Sam needs help, possibly medical. Drugs maybe, possibly a therapist. He just needs help and you have to get him that Finn. You have to get him to open up. Only you can Finn. Sure Sam's my bro but you are the only one that'll be able to get to him. It's not just him Finn, it is you. You aren't dealing with this. I can't stand around and watch you self-destruct." Finn didn't say anything, Puck wasn't even sure if he was even listening. "Finn _please_. I just want my best friends back."

Puck was surprised to find his voice break as he begged. He'd never admit this too anyone but he was on the verge of tears. He honestly couldn't just watch this shell of a former best-friend slowly become nothing. He couldn't let it happen to Sam and he certainly couldn't let it happen to Finn.

"P-Puck, I don't know how."

"Just get him to open up Finn. He needs you, be strong."

"I don't know if I can."

"You don't have choice dude. And yes you can, don't tell anyone this but it is something I've always sort of admired about you."

"Y-yeah?" Finn was actually smiling through the tears.

"I just said so didn't I, dipshit."

Finn actually laughed slightly. Puck was glad he still was able to bring Finn round to being a little happy still. Even after everything they've been through.

"Right then, you are going to drive home. Apologize to your mom, and then tomorrow start sorting out this fucked up mess."

"Ok."

The boys sat in silence for a minute, both just sitting there in a comfortable silence. It was now that Puck realised where they were.

"Dude, why the fuck are you outside your old house?"

"Oh," Finn shook his head as if only realising himself. "I'm not really sure to be honest. I sort of got in my car and drove, just ended up here. Speaking of which how the hell did you find me?"

"I didn't find you bellend. I sort of happened upon you. You forget I only live two blocks away, I have to walk past here to get to Artie's for my math tutoring."

"You do math tutoring?" A slight smirk had appeared on Finn's face.

"Fuck you. Yes I do, I'm fucking good at it too."

"Dude, chill. I'm glad Puck, I was sort of worried that you'd come to the conclusion you'd always be stuck in Lima so had just given up with everything."

"Yeah, well." Puck sighed; he didn't want to just be stuck in Lima. He wanted to be better than that, whether he ever will be he didn't know, but he was going to try nonetheless. "Look dude, I've got to go otherwise Ma will be getting in a bitch about where I am. You going to be alright, yeah?"

"Y-yeah, I think so."

"Right," Puck wasn't convinced but there wasn't much else he could do. "Well call me if you need me, don't just drive around aimlessly next time. It's pathetic and stupid dude."

Finn watched as Puck got out of his car and walked down the street. Finn hadn't quite realised how dark it'd got. It was gone 11pm, he probably wouldn't be home until after midnight. Puck was right, or at least Finn hoped he was. His mom would hopefully forgive him, but ultimately he was right on the other things. Sam needed help, Finn needed help, the fact was neither of them were coping. It wasn't until now that Finn really realised it.

**Ok there you go sorry again it took so long. Hopefully the next one won't.**


End file.
